There was one point where i was going to explode ……

What a rough couple of days i have had with regards to my bowels and the IBS playing up something rotten. I have been in so much pain all sue to trapped wind in and around the organs and a constant feeling like i was bloated and always needed to pas wind or go to the toilet but i just couldn’t. As time went on it became even worst as my muscles were so tense from being bloated i couldn’t actually push to go to the toilet. I was in complete agony.

The doctor had given me these drinks to clear me out as they couldn't find anything wrong in my tests apart from the high cholesterol and the risk to my heart if i don't get it down. With the help of medication and watching my diet i should be able to do that but this problem with the bowels is so frustrating and painful. The drink the doctor gave me also produce wind so makes it even worst to endure. today i have decided not to take the drinks as my bowels opened this morning, it wasn’t a pretty site and my stomach is so sore.

At least i haven’t got the terrible wind at the moment and all i have is sore sides. i am hoping that by taking a break from the drinks just for one day will help to calm down the IBS as stress makes it even worst and its hard not to stress when in pain all the time. My head has also been playing up in the last couple of days and the Beast has been to visit in the early hours this morning but i was able to control it with my injection.

My belly is really sore and tender and just moving around is making it feel worst so i think its going to be a day curled up on the sofa waiting for the stomach to calm down and hope the wind doesn’t build up as it did yesterday. There was one point during the night i thought i was going to explode. I couldn’t sleep on my side like i normally do so i had to lay on my back waiting for the wind to naturally escape and disperse and relieve the tension on my poor belly.

Attacked by the beast, thinking about winter, god help me!

After a nice day fishing yesterday with family and friends i thought i would actually be tired enough to get a nice lay in but no chance. The beast decided to attack at 3 am this morning and would not leave till way gone 4. The pain was so strong i just didn’t know what to do. It has made my back pain worse and my head feels like it has been in a crusher and the neck is really sore. Not to mention my bowels, i feel bloated and about to go pop unless some wind releases soon.

I don't know why they just wont stop producing wind. As soon as i get rid off one lot more is there to replace it and why on earth does it trap around the organs. it wouldn’t be so bad but it hurts like hell with short stabbing pains and when you move they all go off at once. I move around as if i have suddenly turned to 80 years old and my movement is no more. When trying to go to the toilet its as though i have an heart attack each time as the constipation makes me strain so hard i think my head is about to explode and then to have nothing but wind come out just makes you want to scream.

I am starting to believe i have had a blockage in my colon or bowel for quite some time as it seems to be struggling to empty out what ever it is inside. With out going into too much detail i have seen easier toothpaste tubes. Anyhow, the attack seems to have left me with the shadow hanging over me once again and that horrible feeling of pressure on the left side of my head where i get the attacks all the time. It’s always something wrong with my left hand side due to my attacks. If my arm goes dead its the left one, If i have to trap a nerve in the shoulder its the left one. If i hurt my knee its the left one and so on i am starting to thing i should protect my left side a little better in future.

Well it looks like the winter is now drawing in closer and the weather change has started. All weekend and next week we are in for rain , rain and , yes you have guessed it! More rain. Normally when we get so much bad weather we get low pressure systems move over the country and for some reason it seems to trigger my attacks and make them a lot worst. I have been trying to get in touch with my consultant with no success. Just to get an appointment and another medication to help battle with the beast this winter as i don’t think i could get through another winter with out help. The injections work but for only a couple and not for the strongest of the attacks. I am in for a rough ride i believe.

I kept on waking up each hour i don’t know why?

I woke up at 3 am and was wide awake laying there staring up at the ceiling waiting for the Beast to show its face but nothing i then drifted off back to sleep left in a state of bewilderedness. Then again at 4 am i was wide awake open eyes and no pains or aches anywhere and after feeling like you have only just got back to sleep and feeling very grotty i was not amused. I then decided SOD it! Jumped up out of bead and ran straight into the living room as i switched the light on it was as if it switched something on in my head and then suddenly the Beast made his attack.

My eye begun to swell and close on the left of my face, it felt like someone or some thing was trying to claw my eye out of its socket. The pain was shooting straight over the top of the head towards the left more and into the back of the neck. I tried massaging my neck to see if it helps but for me it seems to make things worst. The amount of sweat that pours off your bod is amazing. Not only the face and the head but every single part of your body, your legs lower ad upper and your arms the same, all of a suddenly they are soaked. You end up having to change all of your clothes as you nearly always end up drenched when having the bigger of the attacks,

The pain you get up and down the spine can only be described as someone putting a fag out on the bottom of your spine but not only one put a load out all up and down the spine and then you would get close to what it feels like After you have taken your injection it takes a little while to take effect unfortunately and you end up having to deal with an attack for about 10 minuets which at the time feels like an hour, I have found a pain management exercise that helps me to cope with the attacks as they are happening.To others it may seem a bit odd but i don't care as long as it keeps the pain away. I use a soft towel or cotton T-Shirt to push down on my eye to give slight pressure but when its really bad i use this towel to vigorously massage and rub the pain full area. the build up of static between the  cloth and my hair and for some reason this seems to help reduce the pain levels.

I can now honestly see why they are called “suicide headaches” , It could really drive you crazy constantly. It wasn't until my attacks turned to a daily issue i began my journey and tried and still am gathering any and all information about the condition CH. Maybe one day they will get a cure. Well its fishing today with my mum, step dad and good friend John so we re off early-ish this morning so i have to get my gear ready, not that there's is much that is needed, So i will leave it there and update you tomorrow and fingers crossed for a for a good days fishing and to catch loads of fish .

“The Attack of The Beast” again started by the weather…..

Being woken by an attack from the Beast is really stating to get on mu nerves excuse the pun) It wasn't a mild one like most start off with nut a full blown attack as soon as my eyes were awake. My eyes opened and all i could feel was a pain like someone was trying to take my eye out through the back of my neck . My head and neck became swollen and my eye started to close up as the sweating began. I burst into sweats and within seconds my clothes and bedclothes were all soaked i had to jump out of my bed any way to take my injection so headed into the living room and took the injection. As i sat there waiting for the injection to take place all i could hear was a very load ringing sound in my ears. i have had this sound on several occasions before whilst having bad attacks and this was no different it seems to shut out all other sound until the attack becomes under control. After about 10 minuets past i could feel the injection start to take work as my chest tightens and my breathing becomes shallow and hard to take a proper breath, thankfully this doesn't last long. Then suddenly you get a curious feeling like no other come over you and unfortunately i have now way of describing it all i know is it starts to work on what ever is causing the attack and aborts it by putting it to sleep.

After you have had an injection the attacks seemed to go but you are left with a few side effects such as sore neck and back and tenderness on the side you get your attacks. The swelling of your face does take a little longer to go away but that again is just part of the aftereffects. You then have to be careful not to bring on another attack as the first 10 minuets after having an attack and aborting it you are just a, if not more vulnerable to getting a secondary attack that can be sometimes worst than the first and you are NOT allowed to take another injection as you MUST leave 1hour in between doses minimum.  After the attack is over and you are beginning to feel back to normality (if the is such a thing as normal anymore) and apart from the neck aches and back pains i am back to my old self again.

My Bowels are again in trouble and i keep on getting wind for no reason. I decided on going fishing with my Mother (Trish) and my step father (Brian) up at one of out local fisheries as we all fancied a day out in the fresh air. We have all been going through a bad year lately and i for one can’t wait until this year is over and we get to start a new one. My mother had problems just like me when she first came back to Wales from Cyprus and is now wheelchair bound if she wants to go anywhere. My stepfather not only has to help my mother all the time as he is her primary carer nut he also have to contend with a very bad back and other health problems such as high cholesterol just like me, So they have been going through a lot themselves. The worst think is i know i am a moaner and tend to push my problems on my mother for advice and help but this month i have been trying to deal with them myself/ Now considering i suffer bi-polar disorder and my health has been getting me down all the time i think i am doing pretty good coping wit things but still i slip up and need peoples advice what to do.

With some warm weather forecast before the winter pushes its way in autumn we have decided to try and get as many fishing trip in as we can over the next couple of weeks as if we leave it much longer its going to all change to winter fishing. I don’t mind fishing during the winter months it just means you have to choose your days carefully and wrap up so warm not one bit of cold can get in. Lets hope the weather forecasts are correct and i will be able to get in at least 2 more trips before its time to slow down towards winter. On a more important not talking about forecasts the weather forecasts have some nasty wet days booked over the next couple of weeks so i could be in for a rough time with my head. Yet again its time to chase up my appointments and try and find out what is happening.

Talk about windy, I could blow myself away…

Thankfully the beast is staying away at the moment and i am managing to get a few days where i am able to lay in until around 7 or 8 in the morning which is really good as normally i am up at the crack of dawn. Either i am woken by the beast in the early hours at about 3 am or i normally get up at 5 or 6 am and am unable to lay in due to restlessness. Being able to lay in those couple of extra hours does make all the difference especially to my strength as i feel i have a lot more strength and feel well rested. Unfortunately my bowels doesn’t agree with me on this and have decided to play up despite me feeling more rested and more energetic.

I keep getting sharp stabbing pains on either side that i can only assume is down to the wind building up in the body once again. It seems as soon as i wake up and settle the wind starts to build and i become uncomfortable very quickly. I am still taking the drinks in case it is due to the bowels being impacted and there is still a lot of stuff to come out and i will have to continue the drinks for a total of 2 weeks according to my doctor. I just wish it would sort itself out soon as it is one of the most aggravating and uncomfortable conditions i have ever experienced. My back is still getting pains up and down the spine and i also have aches on both sides of the spine just at the top of my bum cheeks.

My bum also keeps on going numb every now and again and the trouble i get when that happens is horrible. I am unable to feel my muscles working correctly and i am unable to push anything out when trying to go to the toilet as the muscles needed to push just don’t want to work. I think this is one of the reasons why my bowel problem hasn’t sorted itself out as i am unable to clear the bowels properly. Each time i try and go to the toilet i am left in pain. My back muscles won’t work so i have to try and use my side muscles to push down and push out what ever needs to come out except it doesn’t seem to work that well and i end up almost giving myself another hernia through all the straining and pushing.

I already have a hernia on the right hand side just above the testicle that plays up every now and again and leaves me feeling like someone has run up and kicked me in the groin. Having one hernia is bad enough so i couldn’t imagine having several as the pain would just be to much for anyone to bare. I am just hoping that my bowels will settle soon and this wind will seen be a thing of the past. I don’t mind the wind inside the bowls so much even though its embarrassing when walking or when out in public and the bowels decide to empty at that moment. It’s the wind outside the bowls that travels around the internal organs trapping in places causing extreme pain and agony. Even when i massage it to move the wind it only helps for short while as the wind always comes back and traps in the same places.

Well there’s sod all i can do about the wind at the moment and hope that the stabbing pains will stop soon. i will go and camp and the toilet again and see if i can push it out but its doubtful. I seem to have one good day and then one bad day and they keep taking it in turn. I hope i don’t have this all winter to deal with on top of my attacks and the beast, i don’t think i could cope with it all winter long. If my bowels are not settled or better by Friday (another week) then i am going back to the doctor to complain and see if something else can be done or needs to be done in order to get the wind and the bowels to start behaving itself.

Stuck in limbo waiting for appointments ……

After a couple of days having to suffer horrible wind and pain when the wind travels around the internal organs i can honestly say my bowls are slowly getting back to normal. Every now and again i get a little sharp pain over on the right side where i presume my colon is and after the pain has gone i get a feeling of wind build up over on the left side and then comes the uncomfort and pain from the wind until the body decides its ready to release it and then i feel great. This seems to be happening several times per day with the wind trapping all over the body as it builds up and slowly it reaches the bowl area where it can eventually be released. I don’t know why its doing this or what is causing it. There could be several different reasons but the most likely is that i have an impacted colon and that is why it is taking so long to release all that is trapped in the colon. The doctor has given me Laxido drinks that are designed to clear you out and in the case of impacted colon or bowl it is designed to break down the blockage using the body’s natural water and then help to release the blockage. I have been on the drinks for four days now. The first day i used to sashes to start the ball rolling so to speak and would continue this dosage until the blockage started to move.

I was lucky as after the first day the blockage began and my bowls started to open again. I then dropped the dosage down to 1 sashay on the next day and that seemed to do the trick so i will now stay on this dose until all of the blockage is completely removed or passed. The only trouble i have found with these drinks is that they also make the body produce a lot of wind and when you are already suffering from wind you really don’t need anything else adding to the problem. It is now the fourth day and my bowls are still emptying and i am still getting horrible wind build up making it painful and also making me feel bloated all the time. After the scare the doctor gave me about my heart, and the fact that i have extremely high cholesterol levels that need to be brought down as quickly as possible, i have now changed my diet and instead of snacking during the day and only having 1 main meal i have changed to no more snacking and now i will stick to 3 meals per day making sure i have breakfast every morning. It doesn’t sound like a drastic change but for someone who doesn’t normally eat breakfast and hasn’t done for over 10 years its a new habit i now have to start getting into.

Making sure i eat properly and east the right foods has turned into a very important issue and i even have an appointment with the nurse next Thursday to discuss my diet and the fact i have such high cholesterol levels. I think they will put me on a very low if not NO cholesterol diet for some time until my levels drop enough to be in a healthy range. I don’t really mind as it’s about time i sorted my eating out and made sure i am eating the proper foods. i have been so distracted by my head and the attacks all the time that i just haven’t been looking after myself with reference to eating well and making sure i eat the proper foods. I always seem to be snacking on rubbish and chocolate so it wouldn’t surprise me if my sugar levels weren’t all over the place as well as my cholesterol. Maybe this is the kick up the backside i was needing to get myself sorted. I just wish we could get the rest sorted as well. I am still waiting for a date for my next appointment with the specialist to find out what medication is next on the list to try and get my attacks under control and with the winter just around the corner it is more important now than ever before. I am now waiting for the referral for my MRI scan on the back and the spine as to find out what is causing my walking and movement to be so bad. Why my legs are going dead and my bum and why the muscles in my back just stop working every now and again. It’s a very strange feeling when walking up the road and your legs start to go to sleep and its also very scary.

I can’t wait to find out what on earth is going on. I am also waiting for the referral to the back specialist that was referred over a year ago. I did get a letter a few months back saying i was still on the list and they would contact me as soon as a place became available but i haven’t heard anything since. Plus i am now waiting for my next appointment with the CAU team as my last share-care nurse left the profession to follow her heart and specialise in neurology, i really hope she does well as she was brilliant when i was under her care. So at the moment all i can do is wait for all these different appointments and referrals to start happening and then just maybe i will get some answers and finally get myself sorted. All i want is to have some kind of quality of life as at the moment i don;t have any sort of life anymore. Even my fishing was put on hold due to the bowls so i will be grabbing the earliest opportunity and going fishing i don’t care how much pain i am in i will still be going as i need a break from being stuck in all the time. i think that is the worst part of any illness, being stuck indoors unable to go out anywhere as you will end up in pain and agony all the time and when you are ill and in pain you don;t want people seeing you like it so you tend to shut yourself off from the world. I know it is happening i just can’t stop it. Just some sort of normality will be so welcome at the moment, just some sort of life…..

Pain in the side then a sudden explosion……

After being given drinks by the doctor to clear out my bowls as nothing else seemed to be working and taking them for a couple of days with nothing happening i was starting to wonder if i was ever going to be able to remove what may be blocking me causing my bowls to play up so badly as they have tested for every thing else. Yesterday, after drinking my second drink of the day as the dose is maximum of two a day, i suddenly had a sharp pain in me left side and i ran to the toilet and exploded. I then continued to exploded a few time in a row until what was inside was now out. I won’t go into details but the smell was horrific.

I continued to have terrible wind for the rest of the evening and small aches and pains in the sides. I then woke again this morning only to find i was building wind again and was slightly constipated again. I then decided i would drop my dosage and instead of two measures i would only have one. It took about 20 minuets before another pain in the side and a run to the toilet resulting in another large explosion with a couple of after shocks. I don;t know what is going on but i am just glad to be getting it out of me as it causes constant pain and agony all the time. I have now got horrible wind again and will probably have it for the rest of the day but at least the blockage, if there is one, will be removed over the next few days and maybe my bowls will then settle and i will get some rest from all this messing about.

My head is being good despite threatening to start a couple of times yesterday and once again this morning. I have plenty of injections now the chemist is doing my orders on a weekly basis and now keeps a weeks spare in stock so i should never have to run out again. My oxygen tank is starting to reach the empty mark so i will have to order another one soon. i have to say i am glad i use it as at times i am sure it has saved me whilst having major panic attacks. The main use is to reduce the amount of pain i get with the attacks and also reduce the length of time the attack lasts. Some times if you catch the attack early enough you can stop it from developing by using oxygen therapy. I will definitely have to re-order my tank so i don’t run out especially over the Christmas period.

Well i am starting to feel a bit better now what ever is causing this IBS to play up is coming out of my system so i will have to try and get in a couple of fishing trips before the weather starts to get to cold for me and my head starts for yet another winters period of pain. That's the only thing that has been stopping me from doing any over night fishing as i don’t want to have a big attack and something happen whilst no one is around to help, even though you prefer to be left alone whilst having the attack. I will have to try at least to get one over night fishing trip in before the cold snap so i got about a month i recon before it will drop suddenly and the winter will really begin.