Once again another year passes and another year wiser

Once again another year passes and another year wiser and closer to understanding my condition and how it works. Cluster Headaches is really the wrong name for this condition and it is definitely the MOST painful condition known to human kind. As to what it actually is and what causes it no one knows yet and they are still investigating and experimenting trying to find out as much as they can but as its a rare illness there is not much funding and not many professionals who actually know it exists. I was shocked and surprised to see it mentioned on the TV on "This Morning" where they discussed and explained all about this horrid condition and also the fact that not much is known and there is no treatment other than experimental. Now that i have lived with the condition since 1999 when the first attack happened and then 2002 when the attacks turned chronic I have grown to understand a little about it and what triggers the attacks. 18 years of non stop pain, suffering and agony at a level you can only imagine has also given me a new respect for life. Every person who suffers cluster headaches reacts differently to the illness. They will also find they have different triggers that set off the attacks.

No one quite knows the nature of the beast or why the condition starts in the first place. It Could be something that is in your make up, basically inherited through your family genes. It could also be a side effect of certain types of trauma as i had my head split open badly in Cyprus many years ago and feel that is the main factor that contributed to my condition and set off the cluster attacks. I also know that the damage to the nerves in the left of my neck aggravates my condition and because of all the neck pain i have had to suffer 3 times the amount of attacks i would normally get. This last year has been a real test as i have been in and out of hospital so many times whilst they were investigating my neck, my back and my heart. One good point is i found out i have a strong heart despite always being in pain. The nerves in my neck are shot and nothing can be done other than learning to live with the pain and side effects of the nerves or have them blocked risking loosing feeling and movement in my left side. For now i have managed to learn to live with it ad not only has it been helping me to deal with the back pains but has helped reduce the amount of cluster attacks i get. Learning to use heat treatment, stretching and very gentle massage on the effected areas i have found a way to ease the beast and not have so many attacks.

Now i have learnt to manage and ease the pain I notice when the clusters are about to start with little twinges in certain areas on the face and forehead i can now predict an attack roughly 30-40 seconds before it starts. I know that's not much notice but when you suffer this condition and the attacks come on so quickly that 30 seconds is enough time to grab your injection pen and try and beat the attack from starting. With my attacks reducing in number and i am finding myself more days attack free, shame they weren't also pain free, I a finding when attacks do happen they seem to come in bouts of several attacks at a time. So i can sometimes end up having 6 or 7 attacks one after another all in one day and then no attacks for a whole week. They have reduced in number over the years as i remember when i was getting up to 8 attacks in a day, every day. How i managed to survive i don't know but i am thankful for the people around me who has supported me as i don't think i could have done it and also thankful for my fishing as with out that to focus on i honestly don't think i would be here today. As winter approaches each year the attacks begin to increase and usually by this time each year i am in agony and in a bad way but thank god its been a lot better this year, Although i have been getting attacks the last couple of weeks they have not been anywhere as bad as they usually are this time of year the only thing i have had to deal with is the neck pain and the amount of pain in my back all the time down the left side.

The trouble with being in pain all the time is you don't feel like getting up and going out anywhere so this year i found myself house bound and bored stupid. I found that i couldn't even get out and go fishing as much as i wanted as most of the time i was in agonising pain or in hospital having treatment or tests. I am so happy this is now over and i finally have all the diagnosis's telling me what is going on and now i can just get on with things. Its also great that i am learning to manage the pain so that next year i can really get back into my fishing and carry on where i left off at the start of this year, Because of the pain and the attacks i have really missed out this year so now things have calmed down i intend on making up for lost time. My new years resolution will be to be out fishing most of the time so i am out in the fresh air getting plenty of exercise  which can only help to improve my health. So lets hope the beast stays away for a while, the weather improves soon and the fish are hungry next year.