Things can only get better…

Once again i have spent the weekend with no sleep at all due to pain waking me up every time i think i have dropped off to sleep sharp pain will cause my eyes to open and then i have to move position to stop the aches in the bones and the back. I am still getting allergic reactions or symptoms that imitate an allergic reaction and no sign as to what is causing them. They seem to have eased a little for a while so i am hoping they will eventually go but it still doesn’t answer what happened to cause them in the first place.

On a lighter note, my bowels have finally started to work again properly and i am going to the toilet as regular as i used to. Lets hope this improvement stays and i don't have to go through the nightmare of bad constipation again. I am still convinced it was the medication that caused it all in the first place and because of that i now have to take laxative tablets and drinks everyday in order for my bowels to work normally. Well while they are working ill keep taking the medication as it must be working.

Well i have started to feel a little better than i was the other day and am not having so many attacks again. I am hoping they are on the decrease again but you never know with this condition. I am hoping next weekend to get out and do a bit of fishing with my best mate and hope we can spend a few days out in the fresh air catching fishing and doing something that i love. Fingers crossed that the weather holds and we manage our trip.

Back to the old routine! Lets hope it gets better soon...

I haven't been able to update my blog for a while due to me having an attack whilst on the computer and knocking a whole cup of coffee over my keyboard resulting in the keyboard no longer working no matter how well i cleaned it. I could still go online using the mouse to control the system but was unable to type anything or update my web sites. The keyboards are cheap enough but when you are feeling really unwell and unable to get out to buy one it makes life a little difficult. Thankfully my good friend Brian brought me over his spare one the other day so i could get back online and get my sites back up to date with everything that's been going on.

My health has gone down hill yet again despite me starting to feel better last month and having a couple of months with very few attacks. For some unknown reason my attacks have tripled again and i am in a lot of pain all the time with my head, neck and back. Every time i have a cluster attack my back ends up being in pain for the rest of the day and every time i move it makes it a lot worst and can also set off further cluster attacks as the pain travels up the side of the spine and into the base of the neck. Also i keep breaking out in cold sweats all the time for no reason. Usually just before an attack happens i end up breaking out in cold sweat as though someone has turned on a tap and suddenly i am soaked. This time i am getting the sweats but no attacks  but when i do get an attack it doubles the sweat output and i end up having to change my clothes at least 4 times a day due to me constantly sweating.

I went to the doctors and told her what was happening but after checking me over she couldn't fins anything wrong that would cause it and was very confused as to what is going on. She has booked me in for some blood tests and said there is a possibility of an infection or bug but nothing seems to be showing it face as of yet. to add to the discomfort i have now again started to have allergic reactions to something unknown and my eyes are constantly sore and the same with the inside of my mouth. i think i am starting to get oral thrush again due to me being run down and the hiatus hernia i have causing problems. Trying to find out what keeps causing the symptoms has proved impossible as it just seems to come and go as it pleases and even with the help of antihistamines it still doesn't clear completely and i can constantly feel the soreness inside the mouth.

Again i have been missing out on my fishing as due to my health and also the weather being against us i just haven't managed to get out and go fishing for the last couple of months. I really need to start making the effort even if i am still feeling a little ruff and force myself to get out at least a couple more times before the colder weather comes and winter is again upon us. I have had to increase my injections early this year from 1 per day to 2 per day once again to control the attacks and i know when the colder weather comes i wont be able to get out as much as i could in the summer so i really have to try and make the most of any good weather we have left before the icy winds return. Lets hope my health starts to improve a little so i can start to plan a few trips and get back out in the fresh air, but when you are battling the beast on a day to day basis it becomes difficult to do the most simplest of tasks. 

The Fight With the Beast Continues....

As usual just when i think things are starting to get better and i am slowly improving something comes along once again and makes life a living hell. As i was just starting to feel better we thought it was time i should try and take my Sodium Valporate again to try and help control the attacks but unfortunately i have gone and ended up feeling ill after just one dose. An immediate reaction and me feeling as though i was going to die resulted in me not taking it ever again but it has now kicked off the allergy side effects as it did before and again i am struggling with a small dose of oral thrush, nettle style allergy reaction to my arms and hands and lumps on the back of my tongue. Pain in both sides of my neck causing temporary ear ache every now and again and also keeps setting off my cluster attacks making each day a living hell having to deal with 4 or 5 attacks and only being able to abort 2 is very hard when its become every day for the last 3 weeks. 

I no longer have any spare injections and am surviving day to day having to collect new from the chemist every few days as they are in shortage and hard to get hold of at the moment. I am taking medication for the thrush with some oral mouse wash and taking paracetamol but that doesn't even touch the pain. Every attack i have drains more and more energy from my body and sometimes i wonder just how much more can the body take. The attacks feel like they are getting stronger every time i have one and no matter how much i try and stay calm and say to myself don't worry i always end up becoming religious wishing to god to end the pain finally and let me be in peace. I wonder how many attacks do i have to have before it will finally kill me and how much more pain do i have to suffer. I then try and think of people worst off than me dealing with pain every day and wonder how do these people do it. How do they struggle on knowing each day is going to be just as painful and if not worst than the one before. 

It's not until you actually suffer and cluster attack you realize just how much pain there is. I have had abscesses, broken bones, stuff stabbed in me and cuts all over from a motorbike crash where i had the skin taken off me down the right side of the body when i slid down a road. I have never experienced the level of pain a cluster attacks gives you. You actually want to smash your head open and pull out the pain its so bad and you pray for death to come rather than wishing for an angle to bring a cure. This has to be one of the worst conditions i have ever known and to have no cure, no treatment and to say its never going to get better with out the help of strong medication is a hard pill to swallow sometimes.

I am just praying for a break at the moment and hope that there will be an end to my attacks for a while at l;east a few more pain free days so i can get back out and do a bit of fishing as with everything going on and my health up and down like a yo yo i am finding i am missing out on my fishing trips again so i need to do something about it and try and get a few trips in before the weather becomes cold and the attacks really start. When winter comes and the winds get colder the attacks will be more frequent and i know for sure i will only be able to get out once or twice in the winter months so have to make the most of the nicer weather at the moment. Fingers crossed the attacks will start to reduce again for a while.