Sunday, 8 March 2015

There’s no rest from the beast…..

Who needs an alarm clock when you suffer from the same condition as i do. CH is one of the worst illnesses i have ever come across and one that there is no cure for and very little is known about the illness. When i was first told there was no cure and only medication to help it go into remission i have to say i was shocked and speechless. I still find it hard to believe that there is nothing they can do and that i will suffer from these attacks for the rest of my life. I am grateful for the medication i have been given and the injections as they are the only things capable of stopping an attack when it appears. When you are being woken up every morning due to the drop in temperature setting off attacks all the time it is very hard to think positively and trying to stay focused on something other than feeling ill all the time is almost impossible.

Over the last couple of weeks i have been getting regular attacks in the early hours especially when the weather drops and the morning starts of frosty and cold. I have also noticed that i am getting a lot of unexplained pain in my neck on both sides. The muscle on either side seems to be aching constantly and due to the pain it keeps setting off attacks during the day. After each attack it seems like the ache and the pain in the neck is getting worst and it has now got to the stage that it is starting to worry me as i can’t move my neck with out it causing me pain. Maybe there is something else that is causing it like a head cold or a chill to the neck but what ever it is is causing me problems so it looks like i have to go back to the doctors once again and ask for help.

The last few years it seems like i have been a regular visitor to the doctor with all sorts of problems appearing in my health. Everything from bowel impaction to a hiatus hernia have all been diagnosed over the last couple of years and it feels like my body is becoming a complete wreck. No matter how much i try and exercise and  keep moving i just can’t seem to shake the problems. It doesn’t help that i am shut away in the flat all the time as i can’t go out due to the cold at the moment and i have to wait for the weather to warm up before i can become active once again. Last year i missed out on a lot of fishing which is the only sport i really enjoy and also my main hobby. Due to me being in pain and having the hernia it made it almost impossible to get out and about. This year i am determined to make up for it and get out in the fresh air as much as is humanly possible or as much as i can afford as fishing doesn’t come cheap.

I have been spending all winter preparing and saving up for fishing tackle that i wanted and now i have everything ready to enjoy this year down at the waters edge catching me some monster fish. I will be able to take my medication with me so if i do have an attack i will be able to sit in my bivvi (fishing tent) and take my injection with out people watching me thrash around in pain. Once the attack is over i can go back to my fishing. This way i should be able to get out a lot more than i did last year. I just wish there was some way i would be able to take my oxygen with me as that helps to reduce the time an attack lasts. They have portable oxygen units but i don’t know where to get one or whether i would be allowed one. I will have to speak with my doctor and specialist to see what i can do.

I have noticed lately that my depression has been getting a little worst and i find my self low and depressed a lot more than normal. I don’t know if i will need new medication or if its just because the attacks have been so regular just lately but again i will have to speak with my doctor to find out what we can do as i find myself in tears most of the time for no reason. I can be sat watching something on TV and all of a sudden i break down and start crying and i can’t think why i would be crying but it just happens. It’s amazing how being ill can take so much out of you and leave you drained of energy all the time especially when you are in pain for most of the day. One thing is for sure i will keep fighting as i refuse to give in to the beast.