Another week full of aches, pain and agony brought on by constant attacks in the early hours. Not only am i suffering from the cluster attacks but also from an hiatus hernia that is causing me so much discomfort its unbelievable. Every morning i wake up full of acid in my throat and this is due to when i sleep flat on the bed. If i raise the bed up at an angle like the hospital recommends i end up with pain in my neck from sleeping at a funny angle and no acid in the throat. No matter what i do i just can’t win. On top of all these problems i am having an allergic reaction again to something that i can’t work out. I have tried stopping different things and nothing seems to ease it and everything seems to aggravate it. Surely i can’t be allergic to everything?
I am getting nettle rash on my arms and face and a sore mouth at the back as if there is something stuck at the back of the throat. I am al;so getting sore lips and really sore eyes and am having to take antihistamines on top of all the other medication i am on. To top all this off i am having murder with my bowels, once again i am unable to go and open my bowels due to extreme constipation. I am having to take 3 different types of laxatives just to get the bowels moving so i am starting to wonder if its the bowels that is poisoning me and causing the allergic reaction type symptoms. All i can do is continue to take the medication and pray to god that it eases off soon. I spoke with my doctor the last time i saw her when i reported all this going on and asked to be referred for a colonoscopy to try and find out what is going on with my bowels as i have now been suffering with the constipation for over 2 years and it seems like its getting worst all the time.
I was informed that i have to be on a maximum dose of laxatives and still unable to open my bowels normally for over six months before the hospital will accept the referral. Surely this is crazy. OK i agree that my bowels are moving with the laxatives but i am still having serious problems. I am getting constant pains in the stomach and bowel area and feel like i just can’t push anything out. It honestly feels like the muscles just isn't working and i cant bare down like i used to be able. The same when i pee, i can’t stand up and go like a man can normally i have to sit and relax until i feel something start to come out and then slowly push but if i push too hard it stops and i can’t go. All i can do for the time being is soldier on and hope it doesn’t get to the point where i do need treatment and end up in hospital.
I am trying my hardest to stay positive and keep saying to myself there are worst people out there than me but sometimes i really think it isn’t going to get any better and things are slowly moving down hill with regards to my health. I am trying to focus on my fishing and for the last couple of months i have been preparing and getting all the equipment and tackle i need to have a busy summer specimen fishing and get out in the fresh air a lot more. I am now waiting for the weather to change so i can go fishing for the first time this season which is hopefully this Monday coming. I don't care if i am still getting these crazy allergy symptoms i am still going to get out as i am fed up wit this illness trying to rule my life and i refuse to give into it. Lets hope i can keep strong and fight as much as possible so i can enjoy my fishing this year.
