Once again i am being woken up during the early hours by a visit from the beast. At around 3am or sometimes at 4 my eyes open and i am wide awake. Its feels strange as normally when you wake up you still feel tired and it takes a while for you to come around and wake up properly. When the attacks come its a different story. You are totally awake wondering if you been asleep at all and its not until you notice the time you realise what is about to happen. Your body breaks out in sweats and the pressure on the side of the head builds and the pain begins. Starting from the top of the jaw behind the eye and shooting over the top of the head on the left side and then into the neck at the back of your head. The pain shoots over so fast you don’t even get a chance to prepare your self and within seconds you are in total agony.
The left eye starts to close and water pours down your cheek and all you can do is hold your head in your hands praying for the pain to go away. The entire left side of the face starts to feel like its being melted away and stings with seriously high amount of pain. You rub the side of your face but every movement and every touch causes even more pain so you don’t know what to do. If you manage to get your injection in time then the pain will only last for around 10 minuets but those minuets seem like a life time. If you don’t take the injection in time then you have to ride the attack for well over an hour and by the end of it you are praying to god wishing for death to come and finally put you out of your misery. No matter how many attacks you have and how well you seem to deal with them you never get used to the level of pain i brings.Each attack seems to be stronger and more painful than before.
It doesn’t help the fact that i am still getting strange symptoms like i am allergic to something and that my bowels have decided to give up on me and i now have to take a crazy amount of laxatives just to be able to go to the toilet. I am getting really bad pain in both sides of my neck and this can also set off attacks during the day. At first i thought the pain was from me having to sleep at a strange angle due to having a hiatus hernia but now i have reset the bed and shouldn’t be getting any problems yet it seems to be getting worst each day. My stomach is swelling up every day and people say i am starting to look fat even though i am only eating 2 small meals a day. I am producing wind at a crazy rate and it seems to travel around my insides causing me sharp pain and discomfort. My throat is getting sore every day and as i am a smoker i find i can’t even smoke due to the soreness. In one way that's good for me as i am having to cut down but there must be a reason for all this going on.
Its driving me insane as when i see the doctors they end up giving me more laxatives. more antihistamines and more pain killers instead of trying to find out what is going on. I asked for a colonoscopy referral and was told that i had to be like this for at least six months on maximum laxatives before they will even think about referring me. Surely someone shouldn’t have to suffer or go through so much in this day and age. I thought medicine and medical practice had taken steps forwards not backwards. I feel as though i am being brushed under the carpet and left to rot. Every day i now have to fight back the depression and i am finding it harder and harder each time. I really don’t know how much more of this i can take, i just wish someone would help me.
