One again things had started to improve with my health and then the beast decides to return and remind me just how pain a condition CH can be. Again woken in the early hours due to the temperature dramatically dropping and setting off an attack. First you think you have woken up for some other reason, to go to the toilet or because of some noise but you suddenly realize that there isn't any noise and you don't need the toilet and confusion set in until the inevitable happens. Suddenly your eye starts to burn as if someone has pushed a hot poker straight through to the back of the socket as that is where the most pain seems to be, just behind the eye. The pain then shoots up over the top of your head and into the neck following a straight line over the top. Then you suddenly burst into an unbelievable sweat and your clothes become soaked including the sheets and covers. Then you start to feel the left side of the face begin to droop and your eye starts to become heavy and close as the pain increases to a level that you can not describe.
The pain level continues to rise and before long you are hearing loud ringing in your ears and a loud hissing sound as if someone has un-tuned the TV from the channel. You rush into the living room and scramble for your injections as you know this is the only thing that can stop the attack but if you are not quick enough you may have to put up with this level of pain for more than an hour and you suddenly become religious and start praying to god for relief and the attack to stop. You stab the injection into your upper leg muscle and wait for the magic fluid to enter the body and then all you can do is hold your head and wait. No matter how many attacks you have they always seem worst than the last and the pain always seems greater than before. Again you start praying to god for the pain to stop or for him to take mercy on you and finally pout you out of your misery. For that brief moment you actually welcome the thought of death and wish for it all to end. You start to question god, how can he leave someone in so much pain, why do you have to suffer so much on a regular basis.
Then suddenly, as fast as it all started, the pain stops and your face feels numb to the touch. The sweat begins to ease off and your eye starts to open again. The beast has gone. You change your t-shirt and rip the covers off the bed to put fresh ones as they are soaked from sweat. Your skin feels icy cold and you feel as though all your strength has gone from your body. Each attack drains the life from you and you wonder just how much the human body can take, How much more pain do you have to suffer until they find a solution. I have tried no end of drugs to get control of the beast but they seem to have done more damage than good. I finally thought i found the right one for me when they changed me over to Amertryptaline but even this doesn't stop all of the attacks from coming. I have now been suffering from chronic attacks for over 4 years and although i have seen a huge improvement and deduction in the amount of attacks i get i still can't get to grips with the condition.
I am still having problems from side effects of the medication i am on and also the hiatus hernia i now have due to the bowels packing up. I now have to rely on 3 types of laxative in order for my bowels to work semi-normal. You would think they would have sorted something by now but the waiting lists for anything to get done seem to be getting longer and longer each year. The biggest trouble is not many people know about Hortons Neuralgia, Cluster Headaches, and the ones that do know about the condition don't have much experience in dealing with it as there are still no cures and very little treatment known to work. I keep on trying to stay busy and not dwell on my illness and try and live a normal life but it seems impossible at times. I know there are more attacks to come and more pain to push through but i still pray for a miracle and hope that one day the pain will eventually stop. All i can do for now is be thankful for the pain free moments i do have and try to make the most of them when i can. I have to make the effort not to shut myself away in my flat all the time frightened to go out in case of attacks appearing. Lets hope i have the strength to continue......
