The last couple of months has seen a huge decrease in the number of attacks i have been getting on a daily basis. it started when i was put onto Amitriptyline on a regular dose of 10 mg. I ended up having to stop this medication as the Hiatus Hernia i have has become so problematic i can no longer eat and drink with out pain and chocking and having to massage my chest to make things pass through. I ended up having to take Domperidone which is used to help food and liquids pass through the upper stomach a lot quicker than usual. This seemed to help and things became easier but the attacks didn't come back to the level they were before and i was grateful that they continued to decrease in number.
I have had to wait a while for an appointment to see how bad the hernia has become and during this time i have hod loads of strange things happen and problems arise. I have been getting reoccurring infections of the chest and throat and constant fungal infections within the mouth including oral thrush. I have been getting rashes that appear from no where and the latest thing is to do with my walking. I don't know if its from the attacks i get or a side effect of something else caused by the hernia but every time i try and walk to the shops i can't seem to walk very far with out being in extreme agony. The muscles in my legs feel as though they are both constantly tense and the legs hurt up the front and the back of both. The pain turns to a burning pain when i try and walk that little bit more after they start to hurt and what is causing it i really don't know.
I reported it to the doctor a couple of weeks ago and she rushed me up the hospital to have both of my legs scanned in case of a blood clot that could be causing it but nothing showed up. It doesn't matter if i have been rested for a while or i am doing something strenuous it seems to come straight away after 30 seconds of walking and takes a good 10 minuets to ease off after i sit down and take the weight off my legs. If this wasn't bad enough my attacks have decided to return and once again i am getting woken by the beast in the early hours. I am booked to go into hospital once again on Thursday for an endoscopy to see how bad the hernia has become and they will then tell me exactly what they are going to do about it and whether i need an operation to correct it.
I also have an appointment the day before with the physiotherapist who has been trying to help me buy using small and simple exercises to ease the pain in my neck and back but unfortunately they haven't helped at all and in fact has started to make things a lot worst as i am now in constant pain with my back all down the left side and every time i do these little exercises i end up in more pain. They also seem to be aggravating my cluster attacks so when i see her next i am going to have to insist we stop them for a while until i can get some sort of control over the things that are going on. Its bad enough having to deal with one problem at a time but with me it seems i always have two or three different things going on all the time and this is really making my life difficult.
My luck as far as my health is concerned has been really poor and i seem to be getting worst not better.l Every time i think i have one thing under control something else comes along to mess things up again and no matter how hard i try and manage these things i just cant seem to get a grip of things. My depression has been all over the place lately and sometimes i wonder how on earth i have managed to continue up to this point. It doesn't help the amount of medication i have been having to take all the time. Not only has it messed the body up and the bowels but also my stomach and i am now paying the price for taking so many tablets. My stomach feels like a washing machine constantly tumbling and bubbling with wind. I am constantly bloated which also effects the hernia and causes me a lot of pain just above my stomach and under the chest not to mention the amount of cramps i get from the bowels.
I just wish i could have a full MOT and once sorted i wouldn't have to take another tablet and could just get on with my life. Ever since all this started i feel as though my life has been taken away from me and i now live in a permanent cocoon keeping me from the outside world and enjoying what life has to offer. I am watching things just pass me by, watching other peoples families grow and children grow up and i feel like i am missing out on so much yet there is nothing i can do to change this. I try to hold on to the small things i still have such as my computer and the web sites i now run and also my fishing when i am well enough to do it. These are the only things that are keeping ,me sane at the moment and with my fishing eb site growing rapidly and becoming more and more popular each day it gives me something to fill my time and keep me busy.
Maybe one day the attacks will ease completely and the cluster headaches will go into remission or become episodic once again and i would only have to deal with them once or twice a year for a short period but that seems to be wishful thinking. With the attacks once again on the increase and my health rapidly becoming worst i just don't know what to do in order to improve my situation and can only hope and pray that the treatment i get over the next couple of months will help a little and ease a few things off for a while. Lets hope i can get out and do a bit more fishing over the next few months as i have missed out on so many trips this year due to illness and pain so i need to make up for lost time and force myself to get out and stop shutting myself away in the flat in fear of attacks all the time. I am planning on a fishing trip in the next few days and weeks so fingers crossed all goes to plan and nothing comes along to mess it up.
