I have started to wonder just how much damage to my body theses clusters have caused or there is from the thing that caused the clusters in the first place. The reason behind me wondering this is the amount of problems I have been having with the left side of my body and the nerves. It just seems as time passes and I learn to deal with one thing something else comes along and starts causing me problems. I have been getting a lot of chest pains again and I assume its the hernia and the nerve both playing up at the same time but even though I know what it is it doesn’t stop me worrying all the time.
The clusters seem to have dropped right down ever since I started to manage the pain in my neck and back. It seems like the neck was one of the major factors in setting off my clusters and why they turned chronic. Sometimes I forget just how painful clusters really are and its not until I get an early morning wake up call from the beast then it reminds me just how horrible this condition is. Again this morning the best decided to pay me a visit after being attack free for almost a full week. Its crazy how they can just appear and start from no where. The level of pain that comes with the attack is something I just can’t describe and I will never be able to manage. It really surprises me how I have managed to go this long with the condition. Not that I have much choice mind you.
The Hiatus Hernia has also been playing up more than ever before and causing me problems when I am eating or drinking by choking me all the time. Its really annoying as it can happy at any time and more than once. All you can do is rub your chest like crazy whilst swallowing over and over again until it suddenly pops through. One of the most horrible feelings you can imagine. It worry's me that one day I wont be able to get it to pop through and then I would end up chocking. Until that happens there is nothing I can do other than make sure I take my medication and just deal with things when they happen.
The nerve damage on the left side of my body has been causing me a lot of pain also and when I walk I am in agony. I try not to show I am in pain when I walk as I have started to get a bit fed up with people seeing me in agony and out of concern asking what’s wrong. Its not that they are doing anything wrong, far from it, its nice to see people care, but you get so fed up with explaining the same thing over and over again. Its the same thing every time I go to the hospital. It’s not like they don’t have your entire medical history on a computer in front of them but because they don’t have time to read every ones records completely you find yourself having to explain things over and over.
I haven't really managed to get out much the last month as the pain in the back has just been too much to deal with so I haven't even managed to go fishing. I need to get back out on the bank soon as I am having fishing withdrawals so I am going to have to arrange something before I loose my mind. It’s weird as when I am fishing it’s the only time my illness doesn’t play up and doesn’t bother me. Maybe because your mind is focused on something other than your health and the fresh air helps to relax and regenerate the body and mind. What ever is the reason it works. Fingers crossed the cold weather doesn’t come in to quick this year and i manage to get out before Christmas.
