Unfortunately the break from the beast didn’t last as long as i would like as again this morning i was woken at 3am with another attack. Just like before it started from the front of the face just above the jaw and behind the eye. The pain then travels over the top of the head along the scar i have from when my head was split open. The pain then enters the neck making it feel like you have grit or something trapped in the joints of the neck and every movement causes it to grind and gives you even more pain.
When the attacks first became chronic they used to be restricted just to the head and neck but now due to the lump i have in the lower left of my spine that keeps on touching nerves the pain from the attack now travels down the left side of the back behind the shoulder blade and all the way down to the bottom where the lump is located. When my back plays up on its own it can sometimes set of an attack from the beast, as i call it, and can make everything a lot worst than it already is.
At first never thought i could ever experience more pain that what i get from having a CH attack but now i have the back problem i can honestly say my pain is at a level that the body just cannot take. There has been many a time i am sure i have passed out as my vision goes and i loose my hearing only to wake with a throbbing head and loud ringing in my ears. I suffer from tinnitus anyway due to my younger years of being a DJ in a night club, where i had my head split open. Due to the loud music all the time i ended up damaging my hearing and now suffer with a ringing and static noise in my ears all the time and this become a lot louder when i have one of my attacks.
Again the attack this morning lasted well over an hour and just over powered my injection. By the end of the attack all i wanted to do was split my head open to release the beast but in reality there is nothing i can do except wait for the attack to finish and disappear just as fast as it started. I sometimes wonder how much more of this i can take and maybe one day i will end up having one attack to many that will just finish me off. When it all became chronic was the start of a down hill slide with my health and i have had to battle many different side effects of medication and also side effect of the illness itself.
For the last couple of weeks i have been feeling a lot better than i was and this is just another slip in my recovery that i am determined not to let it get me down again. I have struggled hard to get myself fit enough so i can get back to my fishing at least as i don’t mind getting attacks on the side of the lake as i can just lay in my bivi and relax until the attack is over and then return to my fishing. I just have to make sure i am fit enough to get myself there and back and to move all the tackle around. I am lucky as i have the help of some friends but i can’t always rely on them so i have been doing small exercises in order to gain a bit more strength and movement/ i am hoping its enough so i can continue my journey and start visiting some new lakes and rivers and get back to doing something i love so much.
