Still waiting for some answers as to whats going on!

I was hoping that the next time I wrote my blog update I would be able to give some answers as to what is going on with me and my health and why things had gone down hill but still I am in the dark and no one seems to know what is happening to me. I had my appointment at the hospital with cardiology and was given the all clear on the heart problem. They confirmed my suspicions that there is nothing wrong with my heart and the pain I was getting across the top of my chest and over the heart on the left side is all linked to the shoulder and neck. The cardiologist thinks the pain is linked to the nerve itself but cannot confirm this with out more tests. He insisted I have another CT scan on the chest and he will arrange this as an out patient but said he doesn't think I will be seen again by their department unless I do end up with a heart problem in the future, and with the amount if medication I am on he thinks it wont be long before I am back with them.


Not the news I was expecting but I am very happy its got nothing to do with the heart, I knew this all along but with out having the tests done I couldn't be sure. It seems like what ever is going on with the left side of my neck and down the left side of my back is causing me major problems. It doesn't help that I am still getting loads of pain from the Hiatus hernia I have , again on the left side, and to add the pains from the nerve across the chest makes you feel like you are actually having a heart attack. I even get the dead left arm and feeling like your shoulder is being crushed. I have been assured it is not the heart that's in distress but the nerve is sending the pain across the chest up to the neck. It does explain why I keep waking up with a dead arm and it takes ages for feeling to come back to the hand. This has happened a couple of times now and can be scary when you first wake up and realise you cant move the left side of your body.


The cluster attacks are back to normal for this time of year. I think that the damaged nerve in the neck and shoulder is now aggravating the cluster attacks and I think that could be the reason why they changed from episodic to chronic in such a short period of time. I am still getting the early morning wake up calls from the beast at 3am each morning. These wake up calls don't half take it out of you. First you have to deal with a full attack when you are half asleep and tired so it seems to drain your strength twice as fast as normal. Then you have the after effects of the attack where the side of your face and head becomes tender for the rest of the day and not to mention the lack of sleep all the time. I sometimes wonder just how much more of this I can take. I didn't realise that living with such a condition would be so hard.


Looking on the positive side of things can be hard when you are in pain all the time, every day. I have to admit I am pleased that we have actually got somewhere with the cluster attacks and I am now getting 50% less that I would normally. This means I am finding I am getting more days where I am attack free and I am able to gain back some sort of quality of life. When the attacks were at there worst I thought my life was over, I couldn't go out , I was always having attacks and being in pain. I really thought this condition would eventually kill me. Now the attacks are less and I am able to see some light at the end of the tunnel I feel a bit more positive about things even though attack free doesn't actually mean pain free due to the issues with my neck and back.


I am still finding myself locked away in doors all the time  as I don't really want to go out in the cold and aggravate my condition. I have to try and break this habit of being scared to go out in cold weather. It now the new fishing season so I am hoping that if I can concentrate on my fishing it will start to get me out in the fresh air a lot more and I can stop this living like a hermit all the time. Its not good for your health to shut yourself away but when you are in pain with every little movement its very difficult to do the most basic things like walk 2 minuets to the shop or even take the rubbish out the back. Thankfully I have a good friend who will be helping me this, year especially when I go fishing. He will be there to do the heavy lifting and take some of the stresses off me so I can get out and enjoy my fishing once again. Lets hope things ill continue to get better!