Yet another wake up call from the beast in the early hours of the morning. Every morning for the last 2 weeks i have had attacks either brought on by the pain i am getting in my back and neck or just from the CH condition playing up. I have been lucky as i have been able to abort the attacks with the Sumatriptan Injections that were prescribed to me by the Neurologists when i was diagnosed with the condition. If it wasn’t for these injections i would have to ride the attacks for anything up to an hour and half before the pain stops and disappears just as fast as it comes. I can actually tell what it is that is setting off the attacks just by the way the attacks start.
If an attack starts at the front of the head, behind the eye, and over the top into the neck then it is actually my condition playing up but if i get a sore neck just before the attack starts it is the back pain that has set it off and can sometimes make the attacks a lot worst than they normally are. It’s not so bad as long as i only have 2 attacks within 24 hours otherwise i end up having to ride any other attacks that appear and believe me when i say having a bad back at the same time as an attack is probably the most painful thing a human can endure. I have never experienced so much pain in my life until it all flared up this last few weeks.
It was bad enough just having the attacks with out having this lump in the back pressing on different nerves and making me scared to move around. It can get so bad that the skin on the left side of my body not only suffers from pain but also feels as if i have spilt acid or boiling water on it and stings like crazy until the nerve calms down a bit. I don’t know if the lump is actually on a nerve or if it is swelling up and then trapping a nerve, all i do know is that it is so painful i don’t know how much i can take. I still have just under 2 weeks until i see my doctor and am still waiting for the scan referral to see what the lump is and also the endoscopy appointment to see why my food and liquid keeps trapping and gives me instant indigestion.
The last couple of days i have actually been feeling a little better but still find that if i try and do anything strenuous or try walking somewhere, even up and down the stairs to my flat, my energy just disappears really quickly and i find myself out of breath and feeling as though i am going to faint. Even though i have been getting the indigestion and food and liquid trapping when i try and swallow i have still forced myself to eat 3 meals a day and drink lots of water as i seem to be sweating a lot due to the pain and don’t want to end up dehydrated. I have also found, the last 3 days, that i am coughing up some nasty thick flem that is thick green and black that must be coming off my chest. This is probably down to my smoking and i have had to reduce the number of cigarettes i smoke in a day.
I don’t know where or why all these problems come from and why all of a sudden i turned bad but i seem to be slowly improving each day and then when i feel a little better something else comes along. No matter how much i complain and tell my doctor what is happening they just don’t seem to care or want to help me and to be left at home and told to take pain killers is just unbelievable and crazy. If someone came to me with such complaints i would investigate immediately as obviously something is going on. It doesn’t help that i live alone and don’t have anyone in my corner who can say that they have seen me suffering and explain exactly what i am like. I feel like they just don’t believe i have these problems and takes me back to when i first started suffering with CH.
It was years and years i had to suffer before they finally sent me to the correct person to be diagnosed and get the right medication. No matter how much i pleaded and complained i was told i was imagining it all and that the attacks i were getting were all in the head so to speak. It wasn’t until i had an attack in front of one of the doctors that they realised i wasn’t crazy and that the attacks were real. Not only did the attacks become chronic and i had to suffer every day instead of just once or twice a month but it was also too late to take any preventative measures and now they have to try and get the condition into remission by using strong drugs that have been causing ,me so many problems.
Now it seams i am back where i started but with another condition. The lump in the back is effecting the whole of the left side of the body causing pain not only up the left side of the back but in my neck, my left arm and also my left leg. The pains and cramps i am getting are really sharp and takes your breath away when they start. Every night i have to suffer and fight to get sleep as it is so uncomfortable and then when i wake its to start all over again. I fell as though no one cares and they have left me home to suffer and rot. It is also effecting my bi-polar condition as the depression i suffer from has been very bad the last 3 to 4 weeks and i have been having very bad thoughts and feelings. I am lucky that i only suffer mild bi-polar as if i was a bad sufferer i don’t think i would be typing up this blog.
I am praying to god that someone will finally listen to me and get me the help i so drastically need before it becomes too late or i become so ill i end up in hospital or a bed permanently. I know i have to wait for appointments and that every one in the country has to go on a waiting list as it is only fair due to the amount of people who need treatment and i also understand that there are a lot of people who are worst off than i am but surely i shouldn’t be left in so much pain all the time. I can’t even take strong pain killers due to the medication i am on and the pain killers i do take can only be used for 3 days in a row maximum. Due to this i have to go days with no pain relief at all and that is what you call suffering. They wouldn’t let an animal suffer the way i am. I just pray help will come soon!
