Wow! What a lot of pain that just was! Yes, i am actually writing this straight after a massive attack. My head is still throbbing, i have loud ringing in my ears and my eyes are watering like hell. My nose wont stop running yet its blocked at the same time, that i just don't understand? Why does the nose always block up when having an attack/ It makes breathing difficult, especially when in agonising pain. My back is in agony and i still have shooting pains travelling up and down. Making it constantly uncomfortable no matter what position i sit in. I feel like i have had my eye scraped out with a hot spoon.
This was the third attack of 3 i have had this morning since 2.30 am It is now 6.33 am. The last four hours have been horrendous. I have never been in so much pain…. I just realised how stupid a sentence i was about to write. Of course i have been in that much pain before, every time i have attacks like this. I have lost count of how many times i have had to go through this pain over the last 10 – 11 years. Attack after attack, an a lot of the time with no help or way of stopping them. Now i have these injections i am grateful but unfortunately they don't stop the worst ones. i still have to go through most of the attack. I admit it shortens them but i am sure it only delays them so they return later.
Thankfully i will be at the hospital Monday morning and will finally get some answers. I am so looking forward to it you couldn’t imagine. The trouble is because i am so anxious, my minds is going over all the possibilities it could be and trying to rule out what it can’t be, talk about playing up so much. The last couple of days i have had to get out of the flat because it was driving me slowly insane just sitting here thinking about it all the time. I retreated up my mothers just for someone to talk to and think of other things for a change. All i can do is sit and wait and cross my fingers hoping for the best.
Finally i am off fishing on Saturday no matter how much wind is blowing. I know i have to be careful in the wind as it could set of an attack but i have my umbrella with sides so it acts like a closed gazebo and will keep the wind off me just fine. I can’t wait to be fishing and trying out some new tackle i have brought. Brian, my step father, will be picking me up Saturday morning as early as possible and we are off to Cefn Mably, our local fishery. I like it at Cefn Mably Lakes as it has a well designed layout making it easy to get to your fishing peg and there is plenty of room for lots of anglers. Its a pretty venue too and has everything you need on site so no need to panic if you forgot to pack something. Bring on Saturday – Lets catch me some fish!
Update: 07/02/2013 09.30 a.m. Just got a letter in the post from my specialist, it is a copy of the letter sent to my GP. Its not good news at all. They have not found anything in my head at the place of the swelling. this means the diagnosis of CH is so far confirmed and it wasn’t something causing it. This means i may now have to be like this for the rest of my life. I will have to lean to control it using a combination of drugs, injections and oxygen. There is a slim chance that it could be the spine causing it which is also something i have been dreading. i have this horrible feeling it is CH for sure as all the symptoms, side effects and treatments all point in that direction so i think its time to suck it up and accept the fact that this is my future and its time to start learning how to tame if not control the beast!
