My keyboard decided to give up the ghost the other day so i have had a while off the computer. i think it may have been a good idea to give my eyes a rest and not use this computer all day every day. I am sure it is having an effect on my eyesight. It is either the computer screen or my medication, but every now and again my eyes go blurred and i cant read the writing properly. I decided to go out and buy a pair of reading glasses, only the very weak ones 0.005 or 1 x (times) in strength, and they seem to work when my eyes do go bad. I also have to face the fact that it could also just be my age catching up with me as i am almost 40.
Well my attacks have continued even though we are using the medication. I think its about time for another increase as that maybe is what is needed. I am sure the body gets used to the medication and starts to become resistant against any foreign chemical that has been introduced. If this is the case no matter what i do the pain attacks will eventually come back. I have my appointment for the brain scan on the 1st December and i can’t wait for this to happen as i am convinced there is something on the side of my head where the scar is that is causing it to swell and in turn causing the attacks to be more regular than is normal for this condition. We’ll have to wait and see what the outcome brings.
At the moment, as i am typing this update, i am slowly getting the feeling of pressure building on the left side of my head so i can actually feel an attack coming on. The shadow feeling is very strong today so i know i am in for some big attacks. It all depends if the precautions i take and staying warm will work and keep the attacks from building. Sometimes it doesn’t matter what you do the attack will build and the attack will being. That’s the point you start praying to god.
I have now been suffering this condition for 10 years plus. 6 of the years i was completely miss diagnosed and the rest seem to have flown by. The last 2 years have been the worst years of my life, having to constantly battle the beast on a daily basis instead of it being just once in a while. I am impressed with the amount of pain the human body can endure but i have to admit my strength is failing me and as time goes on i find myself with less and less energy each day. The winter months are the worst as they seem to be the main cause of the attacks being so regular and then you get the summer months that are just as frustrating as due to it being warmer you don’t seem to get the warnings that an attack is coming as you seem to have days where you are fine and then suddenly the attacks appear from no where.
My moods have been all over the place as i have been dealing with this condition and coming to terms with the fact that i may suffer for the rest of my life. It also has been playing havoc with my bi-polar disorder and i have found myself yo-yoing when it comes to my moods. One minuet i am fine and can take on the world the next minuet its the end of the world and then i am fine again. I also found myself crying uncontrollably and i haven’t done that or been that bad for years. Luckily the moods have now started to settle and i think are under control again. Lets hope they stay like that. It is bad enough having to deal with the illnesses i have got, having mood swings regular and always feeling low and helpless. These moods don’t last as long as they used to but they get you down all the time and can become annoying when trying to do the most simplest of tasks.
Well that brings my blog up to date and i now have to update my other web sites as i haven’t been able to after breaking my keyboard. At least i am back up and running and still pain free at the moment and the shadow is starting to ease away. Fingers crossed i may even get a pain free weekend.
