After the last couple of days i decided to have an early night to try and catch up with the sleep that i have lost but unfortunately it didn’t last very long. I was woken up at 11pm last night with a massive attack, again one of the strongest i have had so far, scaring me half to death. Again i actually thought something bad was going to happen as i had trouble breathing and seeing out of both of my eyes. The pain was so bad not only did it cause my face to droop on the left side but also made my eyes swell shut so i could hardly see what i was doing. I rushed to take my injection but it had no effect, the attack was to advanced for it to do any good. I jumped onto my oxygen but again all it did was help with the breathing (thank god) but it didn’t help with the amount of pain i was getting.
After the attack was finished i felt like i had been hit by a car or something i was so bad. The whole of the left side of my face remained tender to the touch and if i moved my neck it would just start of the pain again. I tried to get some more rest but my efforts were wasted as i had another attack around 20 minuets after the first one had stopped. It was pointless taking another injection as i would need to save it for early hours in the morning. I just had a feeling it was going to be a bad night. Again the attack was so strong it effected my sight, my speech and my balance as i kept falling over. I crawled to my electric fire and turned it on full to try the heat trick that i sometimes use to help reduce the pain. It started to work at first and i was so grateful for the relief but it didn't last long. About 10 minuets after the attack started and i managed to control it another one began. i just didn't know what i was going to do, this was just beyond a joke, how much more can i take.
I have continued to have attack after attack all night and all morning. I managed to get around 2 hours sleep maximum and i feel so tired and drained. I cant see properly out of my left eye as the vision at the moment is completely blurry and all i can see is the out line of objects and shadows. Thank god i can see out of my right eye or i would be in real trouble. My neck is so painful i just cant move it at the moment and have wrapped a towel around it to keep it warm and to stop it from any unwanted movement that will cause me even more attacks. my back is also bad and every time i walk or try and move to get comfortable i get shooting pains right up to the base of my neck. As i walked to the toilet it was like my feet were glued to the floor and took a lot of effort to move them, this is the worst i have been for a long while. The attacks are still on going and i have such strong shadows it keeps setting of the head and its just more and more pain, how much more can one person take.
Even typing this blog is causing me pain sat at the computer. It is like someone is cutting at the base of my back and the pain keeps shooting up over the top of the head. It won’t be long before another one starts. The eye feels like someone is driving a spike right through out the back of my head. Why doe’s it do this, I just don’t understand. I really cant wait for my scan and to get some results to try and find out what is going on. I am sure something is causing the attacks to be more regular and more painful than before. It’s times like this i actually wonder whether the medication is actually doing anything, but in reality i know it is as mostly it has reduced the amount of attacks. It just seems as the winter has come and the weather has dropped in temperature so much it is causing me to have a very bad period of attacks.
At the moment the shadow feeling (pressure) is very strong and i am still experiencing pain every couple of minuets so i know this bout of attacks is far from over. I just don’t know if i have the strength anymore, I am so drained i can’t take much more of this. Why should anyone have to suffer this amount of pain and this level of pain it is just beyond my understanding. Not knowing what is going on and getting the pain and attacks all the time is scaring me and i sometimes wonder if this will be my last attack and something bad will happen such as heart attack or worst even a stroke. I can’t see the body coping for very long with this amount of pain all the time. A couple of occasions i have had it so strong the body has given up on me and i have blacked out for a few seconds or maybe longer i just don’t know. When i come around all i get is my head throbbing like i have a hangover from hell, the eye remains sore and my face drooped and i get a horrible metallic taste in the mouth and a funny smell sometimes. i am assuming this is the same feeling as being knocked out or something along those lines. So much is unknown at the moment so all i can do is pray and hope it doesn’t get as bad as i feel it will.
Here we go again, i have to finish now because the pain is building yet again so i have to go and try and ease it with the fire and heat. It looks like the beast is here to stay for a while, God Help me!
