So much for having a lay in on a weekend! I didn’t have any big attacks yesterday even though the weather was dreadful, but early hours this morning saw a wake up call at 4am. A strange wake up call as well, i didn’t have an attack and couldn’t understand why i had suddenly woken up. I could then feel the pressure build on the side of my head and a feeling of a golf ball being stuck in my neck. These are both usually the sign of a massive attack about to happen so i rushed into the living room and sat with my oxygen mask at the ready and just as i was turning the oxygen on it started to ease away.
This was a weird feeling as normally i would be in screaming agony. The neck has remained a little sore and still feels like there is a lump. The head is still swollen around the scar and my eye is drooping but no big attack. Now this is the feeling that i call the shadow. I sat like this from around 4.30 this morning until 6.30 and then took my medication for the day. After around 30-45 minuets the pressure feeling has now decreased and is a dull felling in the background so i am now convinced that the medication is starting to work.
My neck is continuing to play up and every now and again i get a shooting pain over the head and also down the back, these are both signs that i will definitely have a big attack today if i don't take things easy. Again i think it is the weather that has brought this on as it looks like it rained heavy last night and early hours so there must have been a low pressure area, that mixed with the cold is a sure guarantee to set of my attacks.
At the moment the feeling is dull and in the background and the neck is bearable so i am praying it stays like this. Sometimes i wish it would just get the big attack over and done with instead of making me suffer for hours before. It’s not just painful torture it;s mental torture as well. When you are like this you can’t go out, you can’t rest or sleep, you can’t settle to watch t.v., you are constantly on edge waiting for the attack to be over and done with and praying the shadow feeling would just go away and then no attack will come. You shut yourself away because you don’t want anyone to see you with a droopy face and an eye streaming with water and your nose is blocked on the one side. You feel embarrassed!
Well let’s hope the weather is a little more kinder to us today and this horrible feeling will eventually go away. All i can do for the time being is make sure i stay warm, keep my head out of the cold and drink plenty of coffee as i have now found out that caffeine is great for getting rid of the shadow feeling. Let’s pray for a pain free day!
