Yesterday they started early, and to be honest i have had a lot of these attacks over the years but for some reason these felt different. They have been non stop since yesterday evening. I have had an attack every hour so far or maybe even shorter time in between the attacks. My head and neck is killing me. It is probably due to this weather front that is above us at the moment and a huge low pressure area that is bringing a lot of rain and cold icy weather with it. The only trouble with this is it is causing me murder.
I suddenly break out into sweat, as if its pouring of me like a tap running, then i get the shooting pains over the top of the head and then the eye starts and feels like someone with a hot poker is trying to push its way through but can’t. Then i get the sharp pulling over the top of the head into the neck causing me what i can only describe as cramp in the neck. Followed by ages of pure pain and feeling sick to the stomach and light headed as if you are about to pass out. There are time i wish i did just pass out at least i would be unconscious and not feel the agonising pain it leaves me in. All i can do for ages is to massage my head vigorously with a soft cloth or old t-shirt. this causes friction with the skin on the top of the head and helps me to not control but bare the amount of pain i get. I also use the electric fire to put heat on the side of the face. By placing my face close enough so that the amount of heat matches the amount of pain and then try moving away slowly so that the pain decreases as the face cools down. the only trouble doing this is i can see me ending up scaring my face by burning it. Some times it takes all of these actions in order to deal with just one of the attacks, i have to repeat this process several times in a day when i am bad and it drains all of my energy.
When the attack is over is leaves me feeling weak and it is painful to walk about as i still get pains up the neck into the neck, or possibly the other way around, for hours. My head and face is constantly sore to the touch and my back is always in pain. The legs feel like they have turned to lead and when walking it takes an awful amount of effort just to take a few steps. When you get the pain in the back it can become very sharp and sometime even spreads into the top of you buttocks and makes the left cheek hurt just as much as the back. I have been so tired lately i am just falling asleep where i am sat due to the lack of sleep during the nights as to fear sets in of having an attack and you just can’t get to sleep no matter what you try and then woken by the beast again in the early hours after you have only just managed to fall asleep in the first place.
When i get periods like this i just don’t know what to do. Sometimes it seems like the medication is working and the attacks have reduced in number but then i still get the days when i wish i was dead. The pain becomes so bad and draining you just don’t know what way to turn. the attacks just keep on coming and it seems like my condition is getting worst over time.I know everything is just speculation at the moments and i still don’t understand what is going on. I get times when i think i have this beaten and i am in control but then i get moments when i think all is lost and it just seems worst than ever before. I cant wait for my meeting with the consultant in a few weeks as maybe it will help to know what if anything is causing it. I still don't know what i will do if they say there is nothing there and this is the way you have to live for the rest of your life. Its something i have been dreading but am hoping the medication will take care of it if that is the final verdict. All i can do at the moment is try and control the pain and hope this bad period passes quickly so it doesn't drain me so badly.
