I am not surprised at being woken up twice during the early hours, especially after the day i had yesterday. My head was playing up something rotten. Every time i tried to go over the shop to just to some essentials i would have an attack. Every time i sat for too long at the computer desk the back would start playing up and bring on an attack. If i was laying on the sofa i would suddenly become stiff and the pain would start and bring on another attack. If i was sat still watching TV the pain would build so i would have to move about. Then i would get sore from walking so would have to sit again, it just went on and on. No matter what i did i could not stop the attacks from building and the level of pain was intense.
This continued most of the day into the evening and by around 4pm i was so exhausted i went and laid down for five minuets on the bed with the TV on but turned down low so it was morn like a background noise. I looked at the clock it was 16.45 and my eyes slowly closed for what seemed like seconds or at least just a few moments and when i opened my eyes and looked again it was 23.20. I was so drained i had fallen asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. It was pointless for me to get back up at this point so made sure my heating was turned on, so i can keep my head warm during the night, and went straight to sleep.
The attacks didn’t return till around 4am this morning with a small attack and i was able to return to my sleep after the attack had finished. Then again at 6am with a huge attack that reminded me how painful this condition is. It has been nearly 30 minuets since the attack finished and i feel as if someone has drilled thee way through my eye and out the back of my head. it is still so sore that i am scared of moving it in case it sets of yet another attack. And believe me it does when it is as bad as this.
I had my appointment with the doctor on Friday and agreed to continue increasing the medication to the maximum limit. I also asked about getting a portable oxygen device but unfortunately she hasn’t got a clue how to go about these things and suggested as did i that i wait until i see the specialist and discuss this with him. She agrees that by having this device it will enable me to get out of the flat a bit more and not shut myself away. Apart from that she was pleased that my health isn’t fluctuating and that i am in control of my bi-polar disorder and hope with time and the correct dose i will be able to control these attacks and hopefully put them to sleep and start to live a normal lifestyle for a while.
They have forecast sleet and snow over the weekend and into the week. The temperature has really dropped, as i found out when i went out in it yesterday and ended up in agony from the cold. I know for a fact that the medication is having an affect on me as i looked back to my attacks last year. In an average week i would get between 3 and 6 attacks a day up to a maximum of 8 or 9. Now i am averaging 2 or 3 attacks per day up to a maximum of 5 or 6 on a really bad day. As you can plainly see it has decreased my attacks by two thirds (2/3) and that is a massive difference. Winter last year was so painful i didn’t know if i could go on anymore and thought that this winter would actually finish me off. The changes for the better i have had since this all begun is only now starting to show. At least it is improvement rather than nothing and being stuck searching for the right medication. Fingers crossed it continues to improve as at times it feel hopeless.
