I had a very strange night last night, i wasn’t being woken by attacks but by nightmares instead. I kept on having this reoccurring dream in which i had a massive problem with my back. What was actually wrong i am not to sure off but i know it was painful and i kept dreaming i was stuck in a wheel chair unable to walk and the wheel chair itself had become stuck so i had no option to get out of the chair. When i did get out of the chair to seek help i would get really bad pains shoot up my spine and then i would wake up panicking and out of breath.This dream came back several times during the night and i must have woken up at least 6 times that i can remember. After waking up this morning, whilst dressing myself i noticed that my back does actually have pain each time i bend and i get shooting pains straight up into the base of my neck. I am now wondering if my dream wasn’t a warning telling my body something was wrong. It’s not as bad as was in the dream but there is enough pain to make me uncomfortable for the rest of the day. i have taken a couple of pain killers and anti-inflammatory tablets that i hope will ease the pain when the start working. It’s strange how the body reacts when it is in pain, sometimes i get warning signs like the dreams and other times you don’t get any warnings the pain just happens and you have to cope with it when it does.
Although the weather has warmed up slightly, compared to last weekend, i am still suffering badly first thing in the mornings. If i am not woken up by an early call from the beast in the wee hours then by the time i do get up i am getting strong shadows and aches and pains all over. My back seems to be the main culprit when it comes to being uncomfortable. What ever is going on in the head and the neck it is now starting to have an effect on my back and the way i move. The worst times are just after a major attack, this is when i will get the most pain and suffering. Then for a few days afterwards, if i don’t continue to get attacks, i will suffer from pains when i move or even when i am walking. It is like someone has filled my shoes with lead and i find it difficult to lift my feet up. Each time i take a step it is like walking on razor blades it is that painful at times, the shock from the step rides up my legs into the base of my spine and then turns to pain and the pain shoots up the spine out from my neck and straight over the top of my head.
Thank god the chemist managed to get hold of my injections yesterday otherwise i would have had to go the whole week with out anything to actually abort the attacks when they come. I popped into the chemist yesterday lunch time on the off chance to see if there was any news and thank god there was good news! They had managed to track down the order and got them delivered earlier that morning. The “wellness” chemist that i am with are brilliant, i never have to worry about my medication or even my repeat prescriptions as Phil (the owner) makes sure they are up to date and my medication is ordered. The shop is only 3 minuets up the road so is close enough even for emergencies and it plays a huge part in keeping me calm and not worrying about my medication. Being bi-polar i can sometimes get very irritable and uneasy when i am in a bad period or low period and having the chemist close by and the help at hand when i need it works wonders for my depression.
Another sunny but cold day with the chance of some showers is what the weather forecast predicts. This means there must be a low pressure area coming over the top of the country so i know i will end up having a few attacks as i normally do when the weather is like this. I am amazed at how much the weather has to do with being a trigger for my condition, every time there is a low pressure area or it is cold and wet i am sure to end up with some of the worst attacks i can get. Normally if it is warmer and dry then i only seem to get the shadows or even smaller attacks. All i can do for now is make sure i stay wrapped up nice and warm today and avoid going anywhere in the bad weather. Trouble is it makes me lock myself away all the time and just lately the quality of life has gone out of the window. It seems like all i do is spend time shut away hiding from people and weather in order not to bee seen when having an attack or even avoiding getting the attacks in the first place.
