They always seem to increase in the level of pain, and in how long they last, later in the day as apposed to having the attacks in the morning. On average a big attacks seems to last me between 30 minuets and an hour. I have had one longer than that i just gave up timing it after the hour went past. When you are in a lot of pain, screaming and banging your head it is very difficult in concentrating on something like timing or even trying to breathe properly. The body seems to have the natural instinct of panicking when it is in a lot of pain. Tight chest, shortness of breath and a feeling of light headedness is a sure sign of a panic attack building up.It really gets me down having to go through this all the time, no matter what pain killers i take, no matter how much i relax it still comes and i still end up having these attacks all the time. I don't know why but this year seems to be the worst it has ever been. Normally towards summer and through out the summer i have loads of pain free days and very few attacks, but this year it doesn’t seem like it wants to settle down. I know as time goes on i will probably find the correct medication to put the attacks into remission, i just wish it was now.
Sweat pouring off me like a water fall is always the first sign i am about to have an attack. OK i always have the feeling of pressure on the head (the shadow) but it doesn't always mean i will have an attack. Sometimes i get the feeling and it just eases off after time and i am lucky as no attack appears, but most of the time its like 1 , 2 , 3, Pain! As soon as you get that feeling you know its on its way and then all of a sudden your t-shirt sticks to you and your trousers need peeling from your legs you break out in that much sweat you can ring your t-shirt out. Then the pain follows and off you go again. Its a never ending circle of pain.
I know why they are called “suicide attacks”, the level of pain makes you wonder if you are being punished for some reason, you suddenly become religious and start praying to god for them to end. “Why me?” you keep shouting as you rub your head vigorously trying to ease the pain but nothing seems to work. The bit that gets me is when i have the really “Bad Attacks” as i class them. These are like +10 on the pain scale, your eye closes and streams with water, your face starts to drop like your having a stroke and you get pins and needles in your left arm and neck. You think your about to have a heart attack but that's not what's happening. The pain is so severe you think your face is on fire and melting. I would say this is the worst pain a human being can endure.
The worst thing is you are alone, there is nothing you can take to ease the pain, nothing you or anyone else can do apart from let the attack run its coarse.
And they wonder why i am always feeling down!! How much more can i take!?
