Hopefully on the road to recovery for five minuets..

After all the experiments i have been dong in order to try and find out what has been causing the allergic reaction i have been getting i have found something new that could be causing the problems. I had decided to stop my pregabilin tables to see if i was those that were causing all the problems. I had mu suspicions a while back as i started to build up a lot of wind and swelling below the chest when i started the medication and pout it done to one of the side effects and hoped that it could get better over time but this never happened. It is also about the same time i started to get all the bowel problems and constant constipation that became so bad i ended up being treated for faecal impaction and was even rushed into hospital or an enema which i can assure you is one of the most embarrassing things a person can go through.

Due my to my suspicions and tests with all other types of foods and drinks i found that after stopping the pregabilin completely the effects of an allergic reaction has seemed to reduce and it and is almost completely gone. I am still getting it every now and again and i still become a little sore during the day but i think that the poison coming out of my system, so to speak. I know it will probably take a while for it to clear my system and could take up to 2 weeks before the drug flushes out of my body but at least it isn’t getting any worst. I still get problems when taking my injection as it seems to make what ever is causing the problem a lot worst. I don’t know whether it is because it thins the blood and spreads the drug around the body faster making me suffer a lot more than usual but at least these last couple of weeks i have been attack free and when they do try and play up i find that if i relax enough and keep my mind off the beast i am able to stop the attacks from building to a level that i just can’t cope with.

It’s amazing how much i have learnt about different medications and the effects that it has on my body and also about the medication and drugs themselves. If you saw my shelves where i keep all my medication in one place so i am able to find what i need quickly you would swear i had turned into a pharmacy. Understanding the drugs and what they do to you and the possible side effects can help you when you need treatment as you know what to look out for in case of a problem and if something isn’t right you are able to spot it a lot quicker than any doctor could. Over the last few years i have been through so much and had so many problems i could probably write and encyclopaedia with regards to the condition CH and the side effects of the different medications. I am grateful that the beast hasn’t been playing up no where near as bad as it used to and i am hoping this is the start of a long break in my pattern or cycle. It has been known that the condition can go into remission for a while and i could end up having a year or 2 break from all the pains so its now time to concentrate on my normal health and start to get myself fit again.

I am still waiting for the endoscopy to see why i keep getting food and liquid trapped when i eat or drink and it becomes very difficult to swallow as if i am chocking and then suddenly pops as it passes through to the gullet. I was referred back at the start of the year and it has taken almost 12 months since my last contact with them and i am still no closer to getting the procedure. I am also still waiting for the scan on the lump on my lower back so they can see what it is that keeps pressing on nerves on my left side of the body resulting in agonising pain and soreness all the time. As soon as they do the scan they will be able to see what it is and what’s causing it and maybe i will then be able to have it removed with a small procedure and finally will be able to move around a lot more that i can at the moment. I know the hospitals are busy and understaffed but it seems like they give priority to the foreigners rather than the persons that have been born in this country. I don;t really want to sound prejudice but that is the truth of the matter. I met a man who had exactly the same problem as me but not as severe as he was only getting pain once or twice a week where as i get mine every day. He also had a small lump at the side of his left spine that turned out to be a small cyst within a week he was in hospital and by the end of the following week he had the cyst removed and he was back home working again. If it was just because he was polish i don’t know and don’t understand but why is it when i have exactly the same problem i have had to wait almost a year for any treatment. I know it sounds a little racist but it is true and i am slowly getting fed up of being fobbed off when i seriously need the help.

Well on a better note i have been feeling a lot better today and that the allergic reaction i was getting has seemed to calm down for a while. I am hoping i am right when it comes to the cause and that i will now be on the road to recovery, I know it will take some time and a lot of effort on my part to get healthy again but i think with the help of my fishing and my web sites to keep me busy i will soon be back to my old self. For the first time in a long while i have started to feel more positive and hope it continues and that i am not tempting fate. The last time i thought i was getting better i suddenly took a turn for the worst and ended up back in hospital so fingers crossed this won’t happen again.

I have to be thankful for small breaks in the pain..

Even though i am still suffering from some type of allergic reaction to god only knows what i have to be grateful that the best has been behaving itself lately and i have been attack free for a while now. I am really hoping my condition is going into remission and that i will start to have a lot more pain free periods but this morning it tried to start a couple of times but i managed to relax and not worry about it and this seemed to calm it down and it didn’t set off the attack as it normally does. It has tried to play up a couple of times this week and i have managed to stay calm and just massage the side of my head and that seemed to be enough to stop it kicking of and bringing the beast. I am praying it continues to get better especially as we are about to hit winter and the cold weather which is one of my main triggers,

What is causing the allergic reaction we are still unsure and i have been back and fore the doctors several times this month and all they can do is give me antihistamines and hope that it eases soon. I have tried cutting out wheat and dairy products but am still suffering from something. I have also stopped taking my injections as i don’t need them with the head staying calm and also my pregabilin as it could be the medication what is causing it to feel like and allergic reaction. All i do know is when i wake up in the morning i feel as though i have been rolled in nettles and my skin stings all over the body and becomes red raw. When i take the tablets it eases off but if i take an injection it becomes 10 times worst. I have changed washing powder and cleaned the bedroom and bedclothes just in case it was something to do with that as well as all my clothes have been washed through in case i had suddenly become allergic to the washing powder i have used for years.

I am now watching what i eat and drink to see if there are any signs of a cause and i have noticed if i have milk in tea or coffee then i become worst so i have changed to lactose free milk just in case. I am avoiding wheat just in case it is when i eat bread or donuts and also staying away from anything with strawberries in as i used to be allergic to them when i was a child but seemed to grow out of it. Just in case it has started again i am making sure that nothing i eat has them in the ingredients. I really don;t know what else i can try at the moment and i am hoping it will soon get better as it has really messed up my stomach and bowels. I have started to feel better for a few days and then suddenly become worst and i still can’t put my finger on what’s causing it all the time. I have even watched out for mossy bites or bites from any other bugs just in case it is that that’s causing all the problems.

My bowels just don;t seem to want to work properly and even now with the help of laxatives and medication i am still having difficulty. Every time i try and go it is like i can no longer push down with my stomach muscles making it difficult to push anything out. I believe it is from my stomach being swollen from the allergic reaction and the wind pouches i now have just under my chest. When i wake up in the mornings the swelling seems to have gone down a bit and i am able to go to the toilet for a short while but as the day goes on the wind builds back up and so does the swelling making it very difficult to go. I know that the laxatives can cause wind but i wouldn’t be able to pass anything with out there help so i am just praying i can find a cause to all these problems soon and get my body functions back to normal or as normal as they can be.

Due to all the problems this year i have missed out on so much fishing. Fishing is now the only hobby and sport i am able to do due to my condition and it is the only thing that helps to relieve the stress and keep the beast away. I am hoping that now i have started to improve i will be able to get out again and am now planning my next trip which will hopefully be next weekend or just after and i will go for 3 or 3 days non stop carp fishing at my local lake. Believe me as soon as i am well enough and next year, hopefully, i will be making up for lost time and visiting some new waters and venues around Wales as i set out to do in the first place. I have also started a digital magazine all about fishing in Wales and this is set to launch in December this year. With my web sites and the magazine and also my fishing i now find that i have plenty to occupy my thoughts and stop me from thinking doom and gloom all the time due to my problems and illness. Its nice to keep busy and keep my mind off my illness so i am hoping this will continue and slowly but surely i will start to become a little better and claim back some of my life.

The Beast is resting, but i am still having problems….

Thankfully i have had a break from the beast for the last few days but i am still getting problems from something that is giving me what i can only describe as an allergic reaction. My forearms and legs become red raw and feel like i have been rolling in nettles and also my face cheeks and forehead feels the same. I also get a sore mouth on the inside but not the throat. Its really strange what's going on and i can’t think what is causing it. I have tried everything from washing all my clothes and bedding out to make sure there is no soap or powder left in them just in case something was changes in the making of the washing powder that i have been using for over 10 years. I have also stuck to water only as a drink to make sure it wasn’t something i was taking like coffee, tea or orange juice. I have stuck to simple foods to ensure it wasn’t something like bread or milk causing an allergy. I just don;t know what else i can do.

It seems to be getting worst instead of getting better and my bowels were shut for ages. It was almost 8 days and i couldn’t open my bowels not even a little and then on Sunday i finally managed to open then several times. I won’t go into too much detail as it is disgusting but you can imagine after not being able to go for 8 days what came out and the smell was incredible. I have been using Movicol laxative drinks in order to get my bowels moving again with instructions from the doctor as to how many i should take. I started off with just 2 drinks per day but had to increase to 4 drinks within 6 hours and that seemed to shift the blockage so to speak. However i still find i am bloated and getting problems as when i woke this morning and tried to go to toilet i am again bunged up so it looks like i need to take more drinks until it starts to come out easily and loosely as the doctor instructed me. If they haven’t started going naturally by tomorrow i will have to book to go back to the doctor again.

Ever since my diagnosis and when i was put on the Pregabilin tablets it seems i have had nothing but problems with my bowels and my health has gone down hill rapidly. I blew up with hard wind and had small wind pockets or fluid pockets just under my breast on the lower chest and now this has increased in size and looks and feels strange. My stomach has also become swollen and is about 3 sizes larger than i normally am making it very uncomfortable all the time and makes me scared to even eat meals but i know i have to keep eating to keep up my strength. I am making sure i drink plenty of fluid so it helps to shift the bowels but nothing seems to be helping and no matter how hard i try i just can’t seem to get myself well again. I know i will never be as well as i used to be and that i will now suffer with the CH condition for the rest of my life but just when i thought i had the bi-polar under control all hell breaks loose and my mood drops fast.

I hate the depression you get with the bi-polar condition as you always panic over silly things and think the worst all the time. At least i am not having the highs like i used to and becoming uncontrollable and doing stupid things all the time so i have to be grateful it isn’t as bad as a few years back where i ended up in hospital as i was loosing my mind. With every thing that has been going on and all the trouble i have been having with my health i find it very hard to try and keep a positive attitude and not think of all the problems all the time. I used to write my blog every day but have noticed i have been letting it slip as i just don’t feel well in the mornings and end up sitting there wondering if i am going to live until my next birthday. This is a horrible way to think all the time and i really need to get help and snap out of all the doom and gloom. My mind is doing overtime and i really need to get back to my fishing as it gives me something else to concentrate on and focus my thoughts. I don’t know why but when i am fishing it is the only time i actually feel happy in myself.

The beast is back with a lot more problems…..

The beast is back with vengeance as i was woken up this morning at 3 am by an attack that lasted well over an hour and has left me in a lot of pain. This time the attack came on as normal and wasn’t started by the lump in my back. I woke up and suddenly burst into sweat and within seconds i was soaked through to the bone and had to change all my clothes. I took my injection but the pain was just too strong and over powered it. I still ended up getting a tight chest and breathless from the injection but it didn't seem to touch the pain level and the attack just continued. My left eye closed and a ridge became swollen over the top of the left side of my head along the scar where the head was split open all those years ago.

I have been going through hell just lately as i have been having some really strange things happen. I have been having what we can only describe as an allergic reaction to something that we can’t put or fingers on what it is. My forearms become red raw and feel as though i have been rolled in nettles and my cheeks on my face and forehead also become sore and by the end of the day my eyes become very sore. I have been taking Piriton tablets that seems to calm the arms down slightly but don't seem to stop the face or the eyes from being effected. On top of all this i seem to be bringing up a lot of acid from my stomach and this is coming out in my sweat causing me to become very sore. Also my bowels have decided to give up and stop working completely and even with laxatives and a lot of straining for hours i still can’t seem to pass anything i am praying the laxatives start to work soon as its been a week now and i haven’t been able to go to the toilet. If it lasts any longer i will be in trouble.

All these thing that are happening to me seem to have all got worst gradually over time ever since i was put on the Pregabilin tablets and my stomach became swollen and i ended up with a lot of hard internal wind. Since this happened my health has gone down hill rapidly and i haven’t even been able to get out and go fishing as i used to. I am determined to get to the bottom of all this and why it is happening so i have cut out all drinks apart from water to make sure its not something i am drinking i am also going to be very careful about the food i eat and if i see that anything makes me worst then i will stop it immediately and cut it out from my diet. This is the only way i will find out what is causing the allergic reaction. I suppose it could be the acid i am producing so i have upped my Omeprazole tablets to see if they help and they have started to ease the stomach problem so fingers crossed we will se an improvement soon.

With all the things happening to me lately it has had me very worried and scared as i thought something bad is happening and i am becoming really ill. Every test the doctors have done came back negative and they couldn’t find a cause yet here i am suffering like crazy. They have now asked for a full bloods works to try and find out exactly what is happening and also tested my urine to see if i still have any infection. The infection i did have seems to have cleared and the antibiotics did the trick even though they made me feel a lot worst at the time. All i can do now is wait for the blood results in a week and see what they come up with and in the mean time try and make myself as comfortable as i can.

I have never had so many problems all at the same time before and it is really taking it out of me. All i want to do is get well enough so i can go fishing again as i have missed out on so much this year but i am determined to make up for it over the winter and the next couple of years as soon as i get this allergic reaction under control. Today i am feeling a little better than i have been so far but when i woke up this morning because of the cluster attack i noticed that its not only my arms that are becoming red raw but the entire body. Every part of me is now looking sore but thankfully it doesn’t feel it yet nor is it itchy so i am hoping it will calm down and ease away over the next few days if i keep up the treatment with the antihistamines. Fingers crossed things will start to improve soon.

I am in a really bad way….

Again i have been letting my blog slide not because i haven’t wanted to sit down and write about my illness but because i have been so unwell just lately. I wish i could say it is because of the Cluster Attacks being bad all the time but in fact they have been really good for the last few weeks. I have only been getting one or two attacks per day that i can control using the injections i have. The main problem is i seem to be having an allergic reaction to something or i am being poisoned from the inside.

Each morning i wake up and my forearms are red raw and feel like i have been rolled in nettles or fiberglass. My cheeks on the face and forehead are also just as bad and my tongue is swollen and mouth feels like i have swallowed fiberglass or pepper. What is causing it i really haven’t a clue. I am swelling up like a balloon and my bowels will no longer work properly. I am really suffering badly. I am booked to see the doctor at 3.30pm and have had to suffer like this all weekend. Thankfully i got some Piriton tablets that has helped to ease the worst of it and i can swallow again but i can still feel that something is effecting me.

At one point i thought i could be because i have been bunged up and constipated for so long that i am being poisoned from the inside or it has turned septic but the nurse said to me that wasn’t possible. It sounds gross but every now and again i can smell poo and it makes me wonder if it is coming out of my paws and sweat or even my breath but then when i check my breath it is fine. What is happening to me? I am really worrying all the time as it doesn’t seem to get better. I have cut out all the things i thought it could be such as coffee and tea and even soft drinks such as orange or fizzy drinks. I am only drinking water now.

I also washed all my clothes again and put it through a heavy rinse to make sure there was no washing powder or soaps left in the clothes just in case it was something in the washing powder that they have changed. I am now only having one meal a day and am very picky what i am eating as i am afraid it is something i could be ingesting and that's why i feel poisoned at the same time as having the allergic reaction. I am getting pain in both my sides every now and again and keep breaking out in a temperature and sweat. I am praying the find out soon what is happening as i feel that one day i won’t wake up as my tongue may swell up and throat and stop me breathing in my sleep. Twice i have woken up suddenly finding it very hard to breath and had to run in and take the tablets to ease the effects. God help me!

I feel like i have been poisoned …….

Yet again i have been woken by the beast in the early hours. This time the attack didn’t come on naturally like usual but was actually started from the lump in my lower back causing me pain right up the left side of my body and into my neck. This aggravated my condition and eventually set off a massive attack. I don’t know why it is causing me so many problems and why i have been so ill over the last few months. This year has been to worst year i have had when it comes to my health. I have been so unlucky and have had so many different things happen to me i just can’t keep up with it all. The year started out great with new medication taking effect and me seeing that all my debts were sorted out and becoming a bit more financially stable releasing a lot of stress and worry. Then i went and won a massive fishing competition getting me all the tackle i could ever dream of having and it was at that point everything started to take a turn for the worst with my health. I wasn’t even able to go out and use the new gear i had won.

I still have a lump in the lower left of my back that is causing so many problems and pain its just crazy and still have around 5 or 6 weeks before i will get an appointment. I am still getting food trapped and liquid when i swallow and almost chokes me. Why it does it we still don’t know and i was referred for an endoscopy about 3 or 4 months ago and we are still waiting for a date for the procedure to be done so they can find out what is going on. It’s crazy the amount of time you have to wait in order to get seen or have treatment. By the time they get round to seeing me and sorting it out and am afraid its going to be too late and permanent damage will be done. Just lately i have been really ill and put on antibiotics yet i have had the feeling that i am being poisoned and my skin keeps on becoming sore and stings as though the poison is trying to come out of the skim paws. I have also been swelling up in the stomach and just under the chest, i have 2 wind or water pockets that also cause pain as it pushes up into the chest. I don’t know why all this is happening to me and it seems like the doctors aren’t interested. I am going to have to make another appointment today to see the doctor urgently as i became even worst over the weekend yet again.

I am really getting fed up with all the problems i am having and no matter how many times i see a doctor and complain they just send me away and give me tablets to take that don’t do anything and i still end up with the same problem suffering every day. Pain has become my constant partner and i am even dreaming of death. It’s not good to think that way especially when you suffer with bi-polar and even when you only suffer it mild depression can suddenly take over your life and make you feel that it isn’t worth living any more. I am so close to that feeling at the moment as i just can’t seem to get the help that i so desperately need. I have tried everything to make myself well again, i have changed my diet and started to eat healthily even though its the most expensive way of eating. I have made sure i don’t do things that can cause my condition to play up and i have been taking my medication religiously but still i am suffering and can’t seem to get myself well again. As i am sat here typing i can feel my skin slowly getting sore as i start to feel poisoned once again and don’t know why it is happening. I am honestly scared and don’t understand why no one will help me even when i tell them how bad i am its a case of take some pain killers and tablets and off you go home to suffer even more.

Just when things start going well you get knocked back down…

Just as things started to look up and i was feeling a bit positive i ended up having a knock back like nothing i have ever had before. As if its not bad enough suffering from an incurable illness i have not got some kind of big infection that has so far dumfounded the doctors. On Thursday last week my bowels stopped working completely and i just couldn’t go to the toilet. Thinking it was just a bad case of constipation through all the medication i started to take laxatives and as mentioned in my previous blog i started to feel better as the bowels opened on the Sunday and started to empty. I had a feeling like i had been poisoned on Monday morning and by the afternoon this eased away and i was feeling a bot more healthy and started to get better.

Then on Tuesday morning i woke up and noticed my ankles were swollen. As i reached down and was massaging my leg i noticed that a thumb print from where i had pushed into my leg had stayed there and the skin didn’t level out as it would normally. I then tried it again and when i pushed in the indent would stay there so i ended up ringing the doctors and making an emergency appointment first thing Wednesday morning. After waiting to see the doctor and suffering in the waiting room as sweat was pouring off me and i was feeling very dehydrated i was called in to see one of the locum doctors. I had done a urine sample upon arriving at the clinic so they could check for any problems and believe me when i say it took a while just to fill half a vile let alone the whole thing.

When the doctor tested my urine his face dropped and i started to worry a little he then walked over and asked to listen to my heart, He told me my heart rate had increased and my urine was showing signs of an infection even though it wasn’t discoloured or painful when trying to pass it was just hard to push out. I explained to him what had happened and the pains i was getting in my back that i thought was from the lump i have. He then told me he needed to do some urgent blood tests and called the reception who in turn rushed me through to the nurses room and took my bloods to be whisked off for testing. I was told to go home and if i feel any worst come straight back and to start a course of antibiotics for 2 weeks.

I have rung the clinic and they have told me my bloods are ok but they need to discuss my blood count the next time i am in in 2 weeks what ever that means so i am no closer to getting cured or finding out what is wrong with me. Last night i was constantly waking up with chest pains and then when i got up i continued having chest pains up until lunch time when it eased off. I know i have some kind of infection but we don’t know what it is and why it has caused me to swell up like a balloon and why i feel so bad. infections can cause havoc with your body so it could all ease off when i finish the course i just have to wait and see so fingers crossed the antibiotics will do the trick. Lets hope i can get well over the next 2 weeks and then i can go fishing as i have missed out on so much this year i need to make up for it.

More Attacks and Pain but at least i am looking towards the future…..

Yet again i have been woken in the early hours by an attack from the beast. The pain shooting from behind the eye, over the top of the head and into the neck making it feel like there is something trapped in my neck and causing it to grind with every movement. I had to take one of my injections as the pain was so bad my body burst into sweat drenching my clothes in an instant. Even though i had taken the injection i still had to ride the pain for about 10 to 15 minuets and believe me it feels like hours when you are in agony. The lump in my lower back, just to the left side of the spine, has been causing me real problems this last week and i have been in so much pain i just don’t know what to do. I am still waiting for the scan to find out what it is and what they can do to get rid of it as it keeps pressing on the nerves in my back causing me agony up the entire left side of my body and making me so uncomfortable its crazy. No matter how many pain killers i take it still causes pain and problems and because i can’t take strong pain killers all i can do is ride it out and use paracetamol to take the edge off the pain.

Due to all the medication i take and of course the pain killers i have been suffering from bad constipation and the last couple of weeks it has been worst than ever. If you are eating you breakfast whilst reading this blog i suggest you finish it before continuing… The constipation has been so bad i have been blowing up like a balloon and have been in agony as my sides have been really sore. Either i have a blockage or at least did have one as yesterday my bowels finally opened after straining for over an hour on the toilet and taking strong laxatives. Suddenly they opened with a pop and my bowels emptied and the relief i got was amazing but the smell was like nothing i have ever had before. A chemical type of smell worst than a sewer and it brought tears to my eyes in an instant. What ever was stuck inside me for days must have been festering and turning toxic as yesterday i actually felt as though i had been poisoned. My stomach is still bad and swollen and my side still hurt every now and again but at least my bowels are open and slowly emptying. I am hoping that i will start to feel better after a couple of days other wise i will have to go back to the doctors as i am feeling really bad at the moment.

Again my food and drink keeps trapping in my chest and making me feel as though i am about to choke. I have to massage my chest and push pressure on it to aid the food and liquid to pass through. When it does start to pass through i can hear a noise like air escaping through a crack and a wheezing sound as it finally pops through. Again i am still waiting for a procedure at the hospital known as an endoscopy, where they pass a tube down you throat into the stomach to see what is going on and why i am getting stuff trapped all the time. It’s crazy the amount of time i have had to wait and its almost over 6 months since i was first referred for the procedure. I know the hospitals are stretched and understaffed and with the summer holidays i can imagine they are busier than ever before but its starting to become a joke the amount of time it is taking for me to get seen and everything is starting to get worst. Lets hope i hear some thing soon before it gets too bad and i end up rushed into hospital by ambulance. Sometimes i think that is the only way i will end up getting seen and treated but i really don’t want it to get that bad.

Whilst suffering at home and missing out on my fishing this season i have been trying to keep myself busy by improving my web sites. As i have only managed a couple of trips this year and am waiting to go out sometime at the start of this month, September, i have been taking stories from the other members of the club and writing them up so that there is still something for my readers to follow. I have also taking the site a step further by introducing a monthly news letter that will keep people up to date with the latest adventures and competitions and what we have planned for the future. I have also decided to start my own digital magazine and have finished the first one and am already laying out the Christmas issue ready for Decembers release. I have really got into the design side of it al and laying out the mag, not only does it keep me busy but it also gives me something to look forward to. It also helps to keep my mind off my condition instead of dwelling on it all the time and feeling sorry for my self. At least i am doing something positive that people will benefit from. You never know it could be a massive hit. I have decided that the magazine will remain free for everyone just like the fishing club i have started and officially open in June 2015. I have a lot of things to look forwards to and just wish my health would start to improve a little so i can just get on with things and get back out on the bank and catch me some fish. Lets hope its will start to improve soon.