Again I have to battle the painfull attacks that no longer only effect the left side of my head and neck but now spread right down the left side of my body due to the nerves lighting up at the sane time I get an attack
It always seems to be the change of seasons that give me the worst trouble and especially if we have a cold start to the day or a sudden drop in temperature. I do try to just get on with stuff but it's literally impossible when you are in full cluster attack. You cant feed yourself and food is deffinetly the last thing on your mind,you can't even look after yourself properly, come to think of it you basically can't do anything.
Well the nerve down the left neck and Back is giving me so much trouble and pain I really don't know what to do. I struggle to do things like cleaning or washing and anything where I need to be on my feet for any period of time. I used to go fishing to help with mymental health as its the only thing I can do where I can take my oxygen and set up a tent (bivvy) with a bed in so if I have an attack I can take my Injection and go and lay down for a while and let it pass, when recovered I would return to my fishing. I haven't been able to do this for almost 2 years now and it's really starting to take its toll on me.
This covid 19 is turning everything upside down, stuck indoors all the time is no different to the way I have been living for the past 20+ years and really doesn't bother me. It makes me laugh watching people complain they have had thier freedom taken away from them. The only time I go out is for essentials such as shopping or medication collection, doctor appointments and treatment and the rare occasion where I can get someone to come fishing with me. Since the virus started I haven't been able to do much and find I am struggling once again with the mental health side of my illness. Fighting extreme lows and bad feelings seems to be a daily battle just lately so I am praying we get some hope soon and things can get back to some sort of normality but for some reason I have a bad feeling about what's coming. I am not sure if it's just my mental health making me feel this way or that I can sense trouble on its way.
I have to admit this last year has been the hardest I have had to endure as I am finding it very difficult to get help when I need it and trying to get hold of doctors is almost impossible as you get fobbed off with locums and can't seem to get anywhere with them as they don't want to risk catching the virus.
It really makes me laugh as you see on the news daily people saying how bad mental health is being effected during this out break and thst we should seek help if we have issues but you try and get that help, it's nai on impossible.
Well I am going to try and stay positive despite all the pain and issues with my feelings and continue to prepare myself for a couple fishing trips in the up and coming season providing I am not in too much pain to go.
Let's hope we start getting control of this virus soon as and people start listening to the gouverment and rules so we can get back to a normal life. I have a feeling it's not going to happen until everyone has had thier vaccinations. Let's hope it's soon as i don't know how much our mental health will be able to cope with.
