One day i will be able to start the blog and say i have been pain free for a while, but every time i think i am starting to make some improvement with my health something comes along and throws a spanner in the works. The beast has decided to rear its ugly head after being quiet for 2 months and only having the bare minimum of attacks it has decided that this low pressure weather and rain was the excuse it needed to kick off and cause me some agonising pain. Once again at just gone 2.30 am this morning it started. I had opened my eyes and again i didn't feel asleep, or if i had been asleep it was like i was wide awake wondering why i was awake and then suddenly the pain started. The left eye began to water and close and the pain shot from behind my eye over the left side of the head along the usual path it takes into the back of my neck. Once again i was having a full CH attack.
It doesn't matter how many attacks you have you just never get used to them and they always seem more painful and stronger than the last one. I didn't know anything could feel more painful than the first attack i had but they can and they do seem to get worst. I am wondering at what level of pain will my body actually say no more. I took my injection to help stop the attack but it still takes around 10 to 15 minuets before it has taken hold properly so you still have to suffer the high level of pain until it kicks in. The trouble with these injections is although they may work they can also cause you to have more attacks than normal. This i have learnt after using them for years, you get what they call referred attacks, its as though you still have to have the attack all the injection does is postpone it until later, well that's how it feels anyway!
It's really not helping the trouble i am having with the left nerve in my neck and the amount of pain it causes down the left side of my body, especially in the back and left leg. Its making getting around very awkward and i feel like i am out of energy all the time. Within 5 minuets of starting walking i am in agony with my back and my energy just suddenly disappears and i have to rest for a while before continuing my journey. This has only started ever since i started getting pain in my lower back and left leg so i am wondering if its something again to do with the nerve. I have also noticed the small lump in my back has shifted and started to hit the spine in the lower middle of my back and i am wondering f its this that is causing things to play up at the moment. it looks like i have to book another trip to the doctors just to get it checked out again.
You know one day i will write a blog that's not all about pain and suffering and wondering what next is wrong with me. I am starting to feel like i am turning into a Hypochondriac thinking they are ill all the time except its not me that's discovering problems its the doctors and my body is slowly giving up. Each time i have a full cluster attack and have to ride out the pain and suffering for almost an hour and sometimes longer than an hour, i feel like part of me is left damaged after the attack. Each attack makes more damage and that's what is slowly happening to me. If someone was to say " You are going to have a slow and painful death" this is the sort of thing i could imagine they meant. I am just hoping that as i learn to live with the nerve and nerve pain i will learn other ways to manage the pain and problems and maybe i will be able to get these attacks to stop all together but i know this isn't something that's going to happen over night. I just have to stay positive and pray for the best all the time.
