Once again the cold weather returns and the frosty mornings become regular so do the cluster attacks. I don't know why it happens the same time each year but for some reason as soon as the temperature suddenly drops and autumn give way to winter the beast returns and the attacks become unbearable.
The same time every morning you are woken suddenly. Usually between the hours of 2am and 3am your eyes open and you are wide awake. You don't even feel tired and after several seconds you realise what's about to happen and the the pain suddenly appears and shoots through your left eye, over the top of the head and into the left side of your neck. The pain level is so high it makes you feel sick and woozy. You struggle to get your balance and make sense of what's going on around you. All you can do is focus on the pain and everything else seems to fade into the back ground.
It doesn't matter how many of these attack you have, you can never get used to the level of pain you get from the condition. It's also hard to except at times that nothing can be done to help you. Ok they are using medication to suppress the attacks and hopefully stop you having them but this will result in medication for the rest of your life as there is no way of getting rid or fixing the problem permanently .
The attacks can return at any time for no reason at all.
The last 2 to 3 years I have been able to throw myself into my fishing and was using this as a way to excape the pressure and issues when having the cluster attacks. Having a tent and bed on the bank where I can go lay down and deal with my attack and then return to fishing meant I had a sport and activity I could concentrate on. When the issue with the nerves in my neck and back had become damaged I have noted that I am now getting out less due to the back in pain all the time. This is starting to effect my health and mental health as I haven't been out fishing as much as I would have liked. Being stuck indoors all day because you are in pain and don't really want to go out walking causing more pain and discomfort. You end up in a rut and it's hard to break free.
I am really going to make the effort next year to get out much more and even if I have to ask people for help to get me back out on the bank I will just have to swallow my pride and just ask people to help me with my gear and help get me to get out and about. I am hoping now once winter passed and the weather breaks the attacks will again reduce and I will get my pain free days once again.
