Woken by the beast and feeling sick!

Another early morning wake up call from the beast resulting in me not being able to move about for well over an hour and has now left me with even more pain and aches than i had before. No matter what i try to get comfortable its just impossible. As soon as you start feeling comfortable sat in one position then the aches and pains start and you end up having to shift position or move about until you can feel comfortable again. The last few months have been murder with the problem i have been getting with the bowels and stomach and just when you thought it was about to get better, as i woke up with out any wind or stomach pains, it all starts again! I now feel really sick for some reason so i am assuming its a stomach bug or maybe something i ate last night.

What ever it is that has made me feel sickie is now playing up making it horrible and every now and again i get this urge to rush into the toilet and pose over the loo waiting for the sick to build and come out but nothing shows its face. I have been feeling sick since late last night and also my sides seem very tender to touch. I haven’t got the wind as bad as i normally get but that's a good sign and i am hoping it is starting to get better. I just wish i could have one day with no problems and pains. Mind you if i did suddenly wake up feeling 100% i would start to worry as i am so used to the pains and wind and not feeling very well it would be a shock to my system.

Even though i was again woken at 3am by the beast i am happy to say i actually managed to get back to sleep after the attack had gone and managed to grab a couple of hours extra rest even though i was half awake already. I had planned to go fishing today and try and get a bit of winter fishing in before the weather becomes just too cold for me to go out in. Unfortunately the weather is against us at the moment and there are not many clear days ahead of us so i will just have to chance it when i can. Due to it going to rain heavily this afternoon and through the rest of the week and weekend i may try and get out on either Monday or a week Friday as they are the 2 clearest and warmest days we have forecast in the weeks ahead. I have been missing my fishing trips and getting out and about in the fresh air.

The winter seems to be closing in fast as the weather is constantly on the change and we are in for some very cold weather this year and into the early part of the new year. I think after having such a warm summer period we always end up having really bad cold spells so if it sticks to its normal behaviour we will be in for a very cold start of 2014. I am praying that the new year will hold new beginnings for me and my health and hope that i will eventually get all these problems under control. Its been a hard battle so far and even though i have felt like giving up 1000’s of times before i feel if i can continuing battling the beast i will eventually beat it or at least get it under my control and instead of it dictating the way i live my life just maybe i will be in the driving seat and can get on with the things i love and want to do.

Not a great start to the week…..

Well what a start to the week! I was woken by the beast twice in one morning. Firstly at 3 am but thankfully it wasn’t a massive attack and only lasted 20 minuets and then i managed to fall back to sleep. I was then again woken at 6 am by the beast this time with an attack that lasted well over an hour and left me curled up on my bed in agony and pain. I then must have fallen asleep again because i jumped off the bed and realised it was 10am.

I know i have passed out at the pain of some of the attacks but these were no where near that strong and i must have been exhausted to have fallen asleep after a second attack. My body hasn’t been to good lately with all the problems i have been having, The wind and the bowels being the main culprit and cause of most of the pains.

The pains i am getting up and down my back are different as i can feel where the pain runs and can feel it constantly connected to some part of the neck. Not only on the left side but also down the spine and onto the right side of the back as well. They are sharp stabbing pains at the points where they join the back and the neck and then i get electric shock type of pain up and down the back with every movement i make.

It looks like i have a few things that are going on with me at the moment and i can’t wait for the 4th November when i have my appointment to the chronic pain clinic where i can tell them what's been going on and see if they can answer some of the questions. I have been waiting for this appointment just over a year now and can’t wait for it to happen. i also have another 2 referrals that i am waiting for and one is for an MRI scan on my neck spine and back.

All i know is something is causing all these pains and something keeps setting of the wind and discomfort including pains in the chest. The doctor has warned me about my high cholesterol and i have had to improve my diet but each time i get a pain in the chest near the heart i begin to worry and panic. Even though i know its from the wind travelling inside the body its a scary thought having a heart attack and being home alone. I dread to think what could happen. Fingers crossed it wont get that bad!

Attack from the Beast at 3am, here we go again.

I actually managed 4 days with out having an early morning wake up call from the Beast. Then at 3 am this morning it decided to attack. I woke up feeling wide awake and it took me a good 20 seconds to realise i was awake and then another 30 before the attack and pain really started. Again it felt like someone was trying to pull my left eye out of the socket using a spoon. The sharp pain over the head and into the neck becomes so bad you pray for god to end it all. You wonder why you are like this and why is something torturing you all the time. It’s pointless trying to take pain killers as i have learnt, the hard way, that nothing touches the pain. There isn’t a drug that has been discovered to help mask that level of pain.

When i last spoke to the specialist we both agreed that you have to stop the attacks from happening in the first place in order to deal with the pain. If you don’t have the attack in the first place you won’t have to put up with pain all the time. The trouble is that no one person is the same and it can take a combination of drugs to put the attacks to sleep and what that combination is will only be found out through trial and error and basically using me as a test subject for the medication trials. Hopefully they will then find the combination my body needs and maybe i will get my life back, what's left of it.

It looks like a day of having to put up with the sharp back pain all the time and the walking problems as my legs feel like lead again and my bum is numb making it feel like i am sat in a hole. This has been happening a lot more regular than before. I would used to get these problems with walking and sitting about once every couple of months and just like the attacks they are starting to increase and becoming a daily problem just like the head attacks. The injections i take are great for stopping an attack in its tracks and aborting them just before the worst pain comes but they have no effect on the rest of the pain like in the back and chest and especially from wind.

Again i am filling up with wind again. I seem to be ok first thing in the morning as i must pass wind during the night when the body relaxes. Then when i wake up the wind begins to fill and by the end of the day i am bloated and full of hard painful wind bumping into my internal organs causing sharp pain and stabbing pain all over the place. I am starting to get used to having the pain all the time, sad i know as i shouldn’t have to put up with it and something should be done to ease it, and have developed techniques as to manage the pain and put my focus on something else. The one thing i can’t get under control or put up with is the amount of wind i keep producing and then having to battle each day to pass it in order for the pain to stop for a while until it builds up again. It’s driving me absolutely insane, if its not the attacks disabling me its the severe wind and IBS, I can’t win!

Aches, Pains and more wind than a hurricane…

I didn’t quite manage another day laying in bed as the shadow decided to appear in the early hours and then woke me up at 7 am this morning. I am thankful that it wasn’t a full blown attack and it was only the shadow feeling , like a constant feeling of pressure on the left hand side of my head. It was strong enough to actually wake me from a deep sleep so i was surprised an attack didn’t appear, i think the beast must still be asleep for the time being.

My bowels have been murder this morning and i keep filling up with wind at an alarming rate. As soon as i manage to get through the pain and actually pass the wind the body is immediately replacing it. Also given the fact each time the wind touches an internal organ you get a sharp stabbing pain and because of this i have been in agony all morning. Every time i move i end up with pain and then i pass wind. It’s really embarrassing when shopping and you can’t stop releasing wind.

My neck and shoulder is also playing up this morning and the feeling like i have an elastic band trapped between the neck and shoulder and it feels like it is constantly pulling tight. Then you get the aches and pains a little electric shock up the actual nerve that is trapped in that area. At the moment my body feels like it has been battered and i am getting pains going of all over the place. The worst is in the chest and behind the shoulder blades at the back, when wind traps there it gives you constant pain and aches and until the trapped wind moves you are in a constant state of discomfort.

I am booked in to see my share care worker today over at Willowbrook surgery, the same surgery as my doctor. I am hoping that when she sees the state i am in she will help to kick the doctors up the backside and try and get something sorted for me as i just can’t keep going on like this. its bad enough dealing with the attacks from hell let alone have to deal with wind problems, back problems, walking problems and bowel problems. Ever since the one medication made me ill it has been a constant battle just to feel well and get through a day and i now think that this problem has gone on too long and something needs to be done. Whether something will get done is yet to be seen bit i am trying to stay positive so fingers crossed.

Managed to lay in again but still feeling windy..

Again i have managed to lay in until 8 am this morning with no sign of the beast even though the weather is wet and miserable it still isn’t as cold as it needs to be to set of an attack. I am getting some strange pulling sensations in the neck and at the top of the spine between the shoulder blades. I am assuming this is the nerve that is damaged and causes me agony when it flares up. Each time i turn my head its like i have an elastic band trapped in the neck. My neck has also started to “click” again, each time i move it first thing in the morning its is as if the joints are out of alignment and when i wake up and move my head they snap back into place. I get up to 5 clicks when the neck is like this and i am sure it can’t be doing me any good.

My bowels are again playing up this morning and again i am filling up wit wind. No matter what i take or try nothing seems to help. I have had a couple of days where it seems like it is getting better and then all of a sudden i start to get bad again. It could be that the IBS i am now suffering, ever since a problem with one of the medications i was supposed to take for my head, is becoming so bad the wind i produce just doesn’t seem to stop until i go to sleep. Then when i wake up in the morning i begin to fill with wind again and by the evening i end up in agony.

Well it looks like winter is finally with us as this week is going to be a very wet one as there is no day it won’t be raining according to the forecast. The temperature hasn’t dropped as much as i thought it would for this time of year but it won’t be long before we get the freezing cold and frosty mornings. I have been preparing for winter as much as i can. I have a nice thick woollen scarf and a lovely woollen hat to go with my camouflaged rain jacket and water proof bottoms. I am determined to stay dry this year and make sure i don't catch colds or the flu. I had my flu injection last Friday so hopefully that will keep the worst away and stop anything from developing.

My fishing web site is really doing well and i have gone from 100 readers a months to 100 a week (new readers). Now the winter is here i won’t be getting out as much as i would like to for fishing and will only be catching the odd day trip to try a bit of winter carp fishing and pike and perch fishing. During the winter it is the perfect time to try out my new lures i won in a competition from Total Outdoors and see if i can get myself a winter monster. I have to be careful of the cold as not to set off any attacks as i won’t be taking my bivi to hide away in as it will be just to cold and damp to be setting it up and messing about when all you want to do is fish. Lets hope i get a few chances before the new year and the new season.

A nice lay in this morning…..

Absolutely Brilliant! I actually managed to have a good lay in this morning and didn’t crawl out of bed until gone 9am this morning. No sign of the beast so far and my back, all though a bit sore, isn’t playing up today as it has been for the last few days. the wind seems to have gone down a bit and apart from a few sharp stabbing pains every now and again, to remind me its there, the wind doesn’t seem to be building or causing me any problems today. Mind you i did go to the toilet and had a struggle for 30 minuets and then suddenly the world fell out of my rear.

I am still getting some strange pains in my left shoulder and aches in the chest right at the top on the left side. It could be a trapped nerve or even a bit of wind could still be trapped higher up. All i know is it is giving me cause to worry as i keep getting sharp pains and then panic in case i am having a heart problem. I am now going to start stopping all the extra medication the different doctors gave me for the stomach and wind as i don’t feel i need them all and it could be causing me more problems taking all the different medication. So one by one i will be stopping them and see if i get any more problems. I can always re-start the medication if i get more wind building up and causing me pain.

I have an appointment with my share-care worker on Wednesday and it will be the first time i have met this worker as the last one i had, she was brilliant, has now left to pursue her career in neurology. This worker is the main person i can use to get help when i need it as the idea of the share care is they will speak and update all of the different doctors as to what is going on with me and how they can get me back to fitness. I am looking forwards to this appointment as i can find out what other action the doctors are taking to get to the bottom of all the problems i have been having.

I can’t ait until the 4th of November as i am back up the hospital in the Chromic Pain clinic and will be able to ask them to investigate the problems i have walking and sitting and why my legs become numb when walking distance and why my bum also goes dead making it feel like you are sat inside a hole all the time. I know i have a referral to the MROI clinic for a scan to see if it the spine that is causing all these pains and problems and maybe even my neck is the cause of t all. We won’t be able to tell exactly what it is that’ causing the problems until we have had the scan. Over the last few months i have had a complete check up as i have had x-ray’s done and also ultra sound scans to see if they could find anything but unfortunately nothing showed up not even in my blood tests apart from high cholesterol. Fingers crossed they find out what is happening to me soon as i don;t know if i could go through the entire winter not only dealing with the beast and the attacks but also having to deal with the bowels and wind all the time.

Back on line but still in Pain……

Unfortunately i have been offline for the last few days not due to illness but due to me having to upgrade my computer system to a more powerful one with a lot more storage memory due to the work i am doing on the fishing web site and the amount of pictures i have stored on the system. I have still been in pain for the last couple of days and the bowels have been playing up something rotten. I did have a couple of days last week where i started to feel better but i have been getting the odd day where i just don’t feel well at all..

Yesterday i had a nasty visit from the beast that resulted in an attack that lasted well over an hour and a half. The pain was so bad that the ringing in my ears became so loud i couldn’t hear the TV or any other sounds. The pain was so severe my eye became swollen and closed and the side of my face was again drooped as if i was having a stroke. My neck was sending electric shocks up and down my spine and the muscles in my back became sore and started to cramp.

I have been feeling a little better today as the beast seems to have stayed away but i am still having problems with my bowels and the wind is building up yet again. My back feels like it has been beaten with a base ball bat and is sore all over with yet more cramps. No matter how i sit or lay i just cant seem to get comfortable. The wind is so bad it keeps pushing up into my chest causing sharp pains in the sides and back every now and again and also makes you feel like you are about to have a heart attack.

My appointment with the Chronic Pain clinic at the hospital finally came through and i have to be there at 14.15 on November 4th. I really can’t wait for this appointment as i may start to get some answers and find out what on earth is causing all these problems. I would just like to have one day where i wake up and not have to deal with some sort of pain or problem. I can’t remember the last time i actually woke up feel well it has been so long.

The Beast is back and so is the wind…..

Well at least i managed a couple of days break from the beast and have remained attack free until the early hours of this morning. It has again left me feeling like i have something stuck in my neck, my shoulder is killing me from what i can only assume is a trapped nerve. I am getting the sharp pain up and down the spine again. My bowels and the problem i have been having seemed to start to get better and for the last 3 days i was getting improvement. This morning, after my attack, i noticed a sharp tabbing pain in my back behind my shoulder blade and now because of these pain i seem to be filling up with air again and my stomach and sides have started to hurt all over again. I haven’t a clue what is going on but i know i can’t go through the same again for yet another month. I will loose my mind! I am hoping this is just a step backwards and i will later improve and feel a bit better.

I normally feel ill after taking one of my injections and have wondered if it was the injections that is causing all these problems but the doctor assures me its not the case and i would have become ill from the injections from the first one if i had a problem with them. The only other person who may know is the specialist but trying to get my appointment with him is like trying to strike oil in the centre of town. I am hoping the clinic calls me with a new appointment before all the cold weather arrives for winter. I have been trying to keep myself busy but its not easy when your mobility is restricted. i clean the flat and have to sit down after 45 mins to take a break and get my energy and then continue. I end up taking around 10 coffee breaks just to clean a 1 bedroom flat, its just crazy.

Now that i have cleaned the flat there are no more jobs for me to do to keep my mind occupied so i have now decided to re-decorate the flat. It really needs to be re-decorated so i have asked my friend John to come give me a hand and i will pay him for the work he does. If i try to attempt to do it on my own it will never get finished like the last time i tried. I still have the patch on the ceiling where i never finished painting as i ended up in agony with my back and arms. trying to use a roller and stretching to reach the high walls and ceilings ended up with me not being able to move for a couple of days when my back became so bad it was like someone driving a nail through my spine.

I haven’t been having much luck with my health over the last few years and now to be diagnosed with a condition that is rare and has no cure is what i would call “Really Unlucky”. I know that as the years have gone on and the attacks become stronger and more frequent i have become used to having them as part of my life. Since 2011 the attacks become weekly and then daily and have only just started to reduce since i started taking the higher dose or Pregabilin at the start of this year. They have now started to get bad again over the last few months and what ever is causing my bowels to play up is also causing the head to play up and the attacks to appear. Now with winter round the corner and the daily temperature dropping fast it looks like i am in for another rough ride this year. I just wish the specialist would pull their fingers out so i can get the help i need so badly.

Taking each day as it comes, feeling a bit better

Another day feeling a little bit better but still have to battle the wind and the aches and pains as hard wind moves about inside the body. My mother had to deal with trapped wind after she had her kidney operation and they removed the kidney due to cancer. After they had closed her up and the wound healed she ended up having to deal with trapped wind for a few days and said it was so uncomfortable and sore. Its crazy just how painful wind can be. On more than one occasion i actually thought i was about to have a heart attack and then found it to be trapped wind pushing up under the chest making me feel that way.

I have tried everything i can think of to actually deal with the wind and try to pass it with out causing more pain but nothing seems to work. I have even tried Yoga exercises to try and shift the wind but with no positive results. Either i am doing it all wrong and can’t follow the instructions correctly or it doesn’t work for this kind of trapped wind. If it was trapped in the bowels i suppose the exercise would probably work but it doesn’t for the type of wind i have.

I am still getting pains in the lower back and it seems to take turns as to what side is the worst. Yesterday i had bad pains all day in the lower back on the right side and today i have it on the left side. It feels like someone has run up and kicked me in the back leaving it bruised and painful. I am just grateful the wind has stopped building up. I have been getting some strange feelings from my neck into the top of my back over the last few days. it feels like i have an elastic band from my neck stretching to the top of my left shoulder. Every time i move my neck sharply i feel pain just at the base of the scull where it feels like it is coming from and also in the top of my shoulder. This must be the trapped nerve that keeps setting off the attacks i get all the time.

The last few days i have noticed that the temperature has dropped and winter is about to knock on the door. This means i will end up having a lot more attacks in a day due to the cold setting them off all the time. the last 2 days i have had a break from the beast and no attacks have appeared or started. I am just hoping it continues for a while and i can get to see the specialist before they really start going as winter sets in. I have my woolly hat and scarf ready so i can wrap up on the coldest of days. Wearing a woolly hat seems to help and stops the attacks from building from the icy cold weather blowing on the side of the head and the face. For some reason the cold is one of my main triggers and i have to make sure i keep the flat really warm all winter, even though it ends up costing me a fortune in gas.

I am praying the winter doesn’t arrive too fast as i wanted to try and get out and do a bit more fishing before it really becomes too cold for me. I have had to wait for all these stomach problems to subside before i can make any plans to get out fishing. The weather forecast for the next couple of weeks is promising and with my stomach and bowels feeling better at the moment i may even be able to get out by the next weekend if not the following week. I think a bit of Carp fishing out ion the fresh air is exactly what is needed at the moment as being shut away all the time is not healthy for anyone. Fingers crossed, lets hope for some tidy weather.

Starting to feel better at last, please stay that way..!..

Another day where i am actually starting to feel better despite being full of wind still and getting sharp stabbing pains when it moves as it slowly starts to disperse. I have also been lucky where my head is concerned as i haven’t had an attack yet today and don’t feel like one is building and i don’t have the shadow so fingers crossed the beast will stay away a while whilst i deal with the bowels problems and try and start to feel normal for a short time at least before that attacks start all over again.  The last time i spoke with the doctor we agreed to try a reduction in my Pregabilin medication to see if it was that causing me a problem with my bowls and IBS as i am on a very high dose. The trouble is now i am starting to feel better and i haven’t reduced the medication yet so it will be hard to tell what is going on. Should i continue with the reduction or wait to see if i get better or worst over the next week.

I am still getting problems with my walking and pains shooting up and down the spine. I also get a numb bum and pain spreading from my spine into my bum cheeks. This had become more and more regular just lately and has me worried about loosing the feelings in my legs completely. Every thing that has been going on lately seems to all be linked to my attacks and pains in the neck i get. It makes me wonder if there isn’t some damage in my neck somewhere that is making all these symptoms appear?

Again i am being pestered by the DSS to ensure that my illness is real and i am not making it all up> It annoys me when they make you feel terrible for being ill. If i could go back to work believe me i would jump at the chance but i cannot with my condition, Imagine having a massive attack when up high somewhere or whilst carrying heavy items, its an accident waiting to happen. I do agree with them that regular checks should be made as to see how you are getting on but all these stupid questionnaires they send you and you have to fill them all in each time they do it. Record the details on a computer and that's it. If there are any changes i would notify them by mail anyway.

Its another day stuck indoors aching from the wind bumping into my internal organs. I can’t wait for it to go. This is becoming the worst experience of my life. When i get my good days i tend to go out fishing all the time as i don’t mind having an attack when on the bank side as i can hide away in my bivi and wait for the attacks to go. With the colder weather approaching i won’t have that opportunity anymore until next summer. I am hoping by then the specialist will find something to put my attacks to sleep. I am dreading the winter at the moment as i know how bad my head was last year, it takes all your strength to get through the cold months.

Starting to feel better, but will it last?

Thankfully i managed to have a nice lay in this morning and didn’t wake until 9am. The beast must be asleep at the moment as the attacks have stopped for a while. I get these breaks in between bouts of attacks. The longest i have gone attack free in the last 2 to 3 years is about 4 days. I am hoping that as soon as i get to see the consultant we can try another medication to see if i can get longer breaks rom the attacks. When you have to put up with them on a daily basis it takes a lot out of me and i am forever feeling drained of all energy and life.

It’s no wonder my body is going crazy and i have been having some strange symptoms going on i think my body is about to give up on me. My stomach for the last 2 days have started to feel better and all the wind that is trapped is starting to move and disperse. I know its going to take a while for it all to go and i still get unexplained stabbing pains in the lower back. The doctor has now put me on a reduction of my Pregabilin medication so we can see if its that that's causing these strange problems. I have started to feel better over the last two days so i am hoping its the end of what ever was going on and maybe i passed it and didn’t realise. it could even be a small stone that passed through the intestines and that's why they could pick it up on x-ray.

The trouble is with it getting better we are no closer to finding out what it is and what caused the problems. I am scheduled to have an MRI scan shorty with the hope it will answer all these questions and why my legs keep going numb making it hard and painful to walk. At least i won’t have to fight to illnesses and can now concentrate on trying to make my head better and avoid getting massive attacks all the time. Fingers crossed i start getting better from now on.

At last i feel ok even with the aches …..

I am so happy to report that i am actually starting to feel better after all these months suffering with IBS and excessive win. It could actually be an acute bout of IBS that set of a chain of problems and now i have started getting it under control the bowels have calmed down and are slowly returning to normal. I know its going to take time as my sides are still sore and i am still getting pains in the lower back and sharp pains in the chest as the wind is starting to move and disperse . I am now praying that this bad episode is coming to an end i will start to get back to y self still having to deal with the head attacks.

My head hasn’t been as bad as i was expecting this time of year. Don;t get me wrong i am still getting them on a daily basis but no where near as many as they used to be. Now i get one or two a day, witch i can use the injections to deal with, but sometimes i end up getting four or five and have to end up riding out some of the attacks. The trouble with riding them out is that they always tend to last longer than an hour and i never seem to be able to ease it when they are really bad. The oxygen can help reduce the length of the attack but doesn’t work every time. It is good if you can catch the attack early and you can even stop an attack from developing if you stay on long enough at the start of the first sign of an attack.

I am still getting these pains in the lower back and also problems when i walk. Its not as bad as it has been with these other problems but today it seems to be calm so i am hoping it stays that way. The last few months i have been to hell and back and can’t believe how many problems i have been getting and now i becoming more and more convinced its the side effects of some of the medication i have to take every day. I have agreed with the doctor to start a reduction on my Pregabilin tablets and keep reducing every 3 days to see if its them that is causing the problem. I have to stop the reduction if it starts to make my attacks bad again. I am really hoping its not them that are causing the discomfort as they have really helped reduce the attacks i get. Also with the help of the injections i have been starting to live a better life. I am now started to eat properly and healthy due to my high cholesterol and the risk to my heart. I still can’t travel any distance with out someone being with me due to my fear if having an attack in public.

I am lucky as my Mother and Step-father always help me out and will take me anywhere if i ask but when you are trying to become self sufficient, no matter what illness you have, you have to try and get on with your life and learn how to deal with things yourself. Suffering mild bi-polar disorder since i was 10 or 11 years old and having it aggravated due to the attacks i get making me go through some mad mood swings and ending up with unstable depression can really take it out of you and there are times where it really scares me as i am unable to cope with change to my routines or completing the easiest of tasks but end up cracking up if you do something wrong. for years no one seemed to believe me about the pain i was getting every couple of months and some doctors even thought it was my imagination making a migraine even worst than it already is. I was even put into a mental hospital for my owns safety as i was dropping into real bad depression and then suddenly, when called into the office for an interview with the Psychologist, he actually witnessed a full blown attack with the side of my face drooping and sweat pouring off me.

Within a week i was released with a big apology and my doctor was told to refer me but it wasn’t until my doctor was signed off for doing things bad and me getting a new doctor that i ended up getting the help i needed. Now the specialists want to try anything possible to see if they can get the condition under control and i can’t thank him enough and now my new doctor is on my side i have been getting good service so can’t really complain. I just wish i could get the MRI scan over and done with to see why my walking is so bad and why my bum keeps going numb. I am really starting to think i have a couple of different nerves trapped as the one in the shoulder seems to always set of a head attack. All i am going to do for the time being is have a really lazy weekend and see if i can regain my strength and hope what ever caused all this problem is now gone.

Feeling better but still getting trapped wind….

For the last few days i have been lazy and not updating my blog due to me being very ill and full if wind. i have never had a problem like this and why it has made me feel so bad i don’t know. Even the doctors are baffled by what is going on and why i keep on filling up with wind in the body instead of the bowels. I can pass the wind that enters the bowel but can’t seem to get rid of the trapped wind up in my stomach and chest. When the wind travels up higher it starts to give me chest pains above the heart and behind the shoulder blades and no matter what i try to shift it nothing seems to work.

I have had lots of tests and scans over the last few months including an up and coming MRI scan to try and find out why i get problems with my walking and why my bum keeps going dead. The pains i get in the lower back are sharp and looks like it is down to the wind moving around the internal organs given them a massage as it goes. My head has also been playing up and again i was woken by the beast the last couple of mornings around 3 or 4am leaving me with back pain and neck pain through out the rest of the day. This mixed with the trapped wind and stomach ache has really been getting me down.

The social has decided to do another check on my illness and have sent me more questionnaires out for me to fill in and return. They seem to be really clamping down on the sick people and making them prove how bad they are. The last time i saw them i couldn’t even make it to the appointment with out having an attack and when i did make it i ended up cracking up in front of them and they apologised for dragging me out of my flat. Now i have to go through it all again but this time i will send them copies of the letters from my specialist to my doctor explaining how bad i actually am.

today is the first day i have been feeling a bit better. I still have pain in the back and still getting pains from the wind but no where near as bad as they were. lets hope this is the first day of my recovery and what ever was causing this problem has sudden;y been passed. i am starting to wonder if it was something inside the colon that caused all this problem and has now passed after 4 weeks of agony and struggling to go to the toilet all the time. Fingers crossed that is the case and i can now concentrate on my head and try and get that under control. The doctor has agreed with me to slowly reduce the medication i am taking just to see if it was that that is causing these problems. The trouble with taking a high dose of any medication is the side effects that come with it. Lets hope it isn’t the medication as the attacks will surely get worst if i have to stop taking these meds.

So much trapped wind causing agonising pain…

Another early morning wake up call followed by a day of pain and stress. All over the weekend the wind has continued to build inside me ands continues to travel around the internal organs causing sharp pain as it goes. I now have 2 big wind pouches under my breast making it look like i have 4 boobs. My bowels are still playing up and although they are opening what comes out is like toothpaste and very hard to pass making me strain all the muscles in my back when i try. I don’t know why it is doing it and what has caused all the wind but it is leaving me in pain and is very uncomfortable.

No matter how hard i try to stay comfortable or calm it just seems to play up constantly. I keep getting stabbing pains in the sides, both on the left and the right, and now i am getting stabbing pains in the chest and is starting to become scary. It actually feels like the wind is pushing or crushing my heart resulting in sharp stabbing pains all the time. I have stopped the laxative drinks that the doctors gave me as they produce even more wind and i will end up in agony by the end of the day. Thankfully i have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow morning so hopefully we will get some help sorting this problem out.

Each time the wind gets bad and the stabbing pains become strong where the heart is, i suddenly become light headed and feel woozy. Its a strange feeling that is hard to explain but i know one thing for sure, i don’t want any more wind. If i get any more i am sure i will end up exploding. I don’t mind dealing with trapped wind as long as it stays in the lower area but when it comes up to the chest and causes you sharp pain around the heart its very worrying and annoying.

My head has been playing up but thankfully its only been small attacks at the moment and i think they are mainly due to me having this wind and stressing about the pain all the time. Why all this started i am not sure, i believe it has something to do with the reaction of my body when i tried to take verapamil. It is either bad timing as something else was wrong at the time of taking them or i had an allergic reaction to something inside the medication and now i am paying for it long term as it has now set of IBS and other bowel problems. If it wasn’t bad enough having to fight the Beast every day and deal with the painful attacks, now i have to put up with excessive wind and constipation all the time.

I understand why i am constipated as the amount of medication i am taking is starting to become ridiculous. Taking 21 tablets and 2 injections each day along with drinks and oxygen is a bit much. I have stopped any painkillers as i believe they are the main culprits that cause constipation when taking long term. The only pain killer i have been taking for the stabbing pains is Aspirin as it also helps to thin the blood and stops any blockage to the heart that could cause a heart attack. Ever since the doctor told me my Cholesterol levels were dangerously high i have decided to take an aspirin a day just to be on the safe side.

The weather forecast is looking good for the next week so i am hoping that my head will be good to me and i won;t get any big attacks. i am also hoping that after seeing the doctor and getting help to control this wind i will be well enough to go fishing again as i am really missing it. I fancy going carp fishing after the big monster fish but have to make sure i am well as it will be an over night fishing trip as the big carp tend to feed during the night and in the early hours as they feel more confident that there are no fishermen around. Fingers crossed, lets hope the doctor can give me some answers tomorrow.

I think i am slowly loosing my sanity !….

Thursday 3rd October 2013

Yet again i have been battling with my bowels and end up full of trapped wind travelling around the internal organs causing agonising pain. No matter what i try to do to shift the wind it just wont go. I have been back to the doctors to complain 3 times now and 3 times i have been seen by a different doctor and each time they say it could be something different and each time they put me on these drinks that are meant to clear out the bowels and return you to normal function but all they seem to do is produce bad wind and cause me to go through a nightmare.

I am supposed to take between 1 and 2 drinks twice a day or when required with a maximum of 3 drinks per dosage. When i started on just one drink all it did was make the wind worst. Then i started to take 2 drinks and decided to stick at 2 drinks for a couple of days. After 3 days my bowels suddenly changed from being difficult to go to OH My God the world has just fallen out of my bottom! I have to take the drinks for 2 weeks to see if they will clear me out and help my bowels return to normal movements. Something tells me its not going to be that simple for some reason.

My head has also been playing up with attacks mainly in the early hours of the morning at 3am or 4am. I have been lucky the last couple of mornings as i have been able to get back to sleep after the attack comes. Normally when it wakes me up that is it i am up for the day but this time it have been forcing myself to go back to sleep and it has been working and I have been able to lay in until 8 am. The wind i am getting from the bowels that is trapping up in my chest and back is pushing on one of the nerves that is responsible for the attacks and i can feel it in my back just under my shoulder blade.

Each time i move i can feel the nerve moving and it keeps on aggravating my neck and head and threatening to set off a full blown attack. I am just praying this wind will be over soon as i don’t know how much more of this i can take. Ever since the Verapamil incident where i had an allergic reaction to something in the medication i have been going through hell withy my bowls and it has been going on now for well over 2 months.

My computer is offline at the moment due to me being late paying my bill. Its my own fault so i can’t moan at Virgin for it as it completely slipped my mind with every thing else that is going on and the problems i have been having with my health taking centre stage. So my latest update i am doing in 2 stages and will continue my update tomorrow with any changes, if there are any. Also if i have anymore attacks by the beast in the early hours.

Friday 4th October 2013

Yet again i have been woken by the Beast this morning and again it was a strong attack that lasted well over an hour even though i had taken my injection it didn’t seem to take effect. This has happened a few times and thankfully it is rare but always seems to happen when i have a massive attack. Again it has left my neck feeling like i have a ball stuck in the joint and very sore. I am also getting some strong sharp pains up and down the spine making it very uncomfortable and painful to do anything. I can’t even lay down and rest as it seems to male the back worst. I suppose it doesn’t help being bloated like a balloon yet again due to my bowels and stomach playing up all the time.

My bowels are finally opening and clearing as it is coming out like water at the moment so i have to make sure i drink plenty of fluids so i don't dehydrate and make myself ill. For some reason the wind wont stop building and my stomach won’t stop bubbling and growling at me. All this wind travelling around my insides can’t be good for me surely. I have tried everything possible to get rid of the wind but nothing seems to work. I just seem to wake up and then slowly fill with air until its time for bed again and then it must disperse a little during the night. The last time i spoke with the doctor at the start of the week he told me i had to do this for 2 weeks to make sure my bowels had cleared properly and then it should go back to normal. The drinks they give me makes the wind ten times worst so there is no way i can do it for a total of 2 weeks, its like living hell at the moment.

I am going to try a day with out taking any drinks to see what happens and if it improves the wind problem. If i can get rid of this wind and get it under control every thing else should fall into line. I just can’t believe i am going through all this. I think i am starting to go insane with all the problems i have been having this year. It seems like ever since i started the medication for my head i have been on a downhill ride. Every time i think i have something under control i end up with a new problem. All i want is it to stop so i can get on with things. At the moment i can’t even go out as i need to stay close to a toilet just in case i need to go.

Saturday 5th October 2013

Another early morning attack resulting in me tossing and turning in bed for 2 hours trying to get back to sleep. After the 2 hours was up i just gave up and went into the living room. Just as i was starting to relax, another attack from the Beast! It has left me with a bad neck and a really bad back this morning. So painful its making me cringe and bringing tears to the eyes each time i get a sharp stabbing feeling right at the bottom of the spine. It doesn’t help being full with wind and each time i eat or drink something i end up with really bad wind pains as it pushes up into the chest area. I have finally found something that actually breaks down the internal wind. Not just the wind trapped in the bowels but also the hard balls of wind that are travelling around the internal body giving my organs a massage as they go. It’s called DEFLATINE and its made by Rennie of all people.

I should have guessed as most of the medication they manufacture is all based around the bowels and bloating from food. They have always had something that helps with indigestion and wind but it never crossed my mind to see if they made something to help with the internal wind. Anyhow, It seems to do the trick and works by breaking down the hard bubbles so the body can pass them naturally helping to reduce the pain you get from the trapped wind. I have stopped taking the laxative drinks the doctors gave me as they produce even more wind and i now have the runs and now have to stay close to a toilet. This is the second day of having a bad stomach and i didn't;t realise the body could hold so much. I am hoping over the next few days my stomach and bowls will start to improve as i know i have definitely had a good clear out and my stool has now changed from the horrible black clay colour to the normal brown. This is definitely something i never thought i would ever write about.

Over the last few months my body has been through the grinder and down to hell and back. Different things going on an having to take lots of different tablets to deal with the symptoms i am starting to think the medication could also be messing up my stomach and bowels. I have an appointment with the doctor on Tuesday so i will ask her to decided what medication i have to take and what ones i don;t need any more. hopefully we will be able to cut down on the amount of tablets i eat during the day and maybe it will help my stomach and bowels recover.

Well it now the end of another week and still i am in the same situation as i was a few years ago. Not much improvement apart from the fact i no longer have to self medicate and chase drugs and pain killers all the time. At least i now know what is happening with these attacks and i now have the injections and support i need to hopefully put them to sleep. I am still waiting for my new appointment date with the specialist so that's something else i will have to chase up next week. It’s now coming up 2 years since my attacks switched from monthly to daily and i am still getting loads of attacks during the week. Ok they are not as many as i had last year and during the winter but i am now dreading the winter that is fast approaching and i am praying the specialist will be able to see me before the temperatures drop.