Well its official the clusters are back. The cold weather has moved in and I am starting to feel it on the top of my head in the early hours. Then wake up at 3 am with a feeling of pressure and as soon as I open my eyes the cluster attack begins. Pressure and sharp pain shoots from behind the left upper jaw, u through my left eye causing it to close and water like someone has just turned a tap on. The pain then shoots over the left side of my head along the scar I have from where my head was split open all those years ago. It then continues into the back of the head and down the neck. This is a full cluster attack and the pain level is so high it makes you feel sick. A sharp stinging constant pain, no matter how hard you rub the area of the pain it doesn't ease. You kneel in agony praying to god for the pain to stop, hoping it will ease with every minuet that passes.
Its horrible when a condition is so bad you actually pray for death to come and put you out of your misery. This is what clusters do to you. It makes it worst now I have damaged nerves down the left side of my body,. Instead of the cluster pain stopping in your neck, mine actually spreads right down the left side of my back The Cluster seem to aggravate the nerves in the back as badly as the nerves aggravate the clusters. Once it starts there isn’t anything you can do about it as one thing becomes painful its starts of the other. All you can do is take your injection and pray to god it aborts the cluster attack. If not you have to ride the pain for over an hour and believe me when i say that takes all of your energy.
By the end of a full cluster attack I am drained to the point I feel like I am going to pass out. All you can do is sit or lay depending on the position you end up in after thrashing about in agony for over an hour. Every muscle in your body aches and the side of your face feels numb from the pain. This always gets worst when the winter comes and the cold weather starts. I don’t know why the cold is one of my triggers but it is and there isn't much I can do other than try and prepare for when it comes. I use beanie hats to stay warm on cold days. Keeping my head warm helps stop the clusters developing but if there is a strong wind and it blows in my left eye it can also trigger an attack so I have to be so careful when going out.
I have to be thankful that I don't get any where near the amount of attacks used to get and at least I have shown some progress when it comes to managing the condition but I have to be honest it never gets any easier. It hasn’t helped I haven’t really been getting out as much as I should and not even fishing at my local lake. This has been down to the lump in the left side of my back causing so much pain and the hospital deciding I can live with the pain rather than waste the money on a cosmetic operation as they put it. Lets hope I can get out and do some fishing soon before I start to loose my mind. Even though the cold has arrived it has still been very mild considering the weather we have had. I am hoping it will remain a mild winter this year and the attacks shouldn’t become too bad,
