Another day where i am actually starting to feel better despite being full of wind still and getting sharp stabbing pains when it moves as it slowly starts to disperse. I have also been lucky where my head is concerned as i haven’t had an attack yet today and don’t feel like one is building and i don’t have the shadow so fingers crossed the beast will stay away a while whilst i deal with the bowels problems and try and start to feel normal for a short time at least before that attacks start all over again. The last time i spoke with the doctor we agreed to try a reduction in my Pregabilin medication to see if it was that causing me a problem with my bowls and IBS as i am on a very high dose. The trouble is now i am starting to feel better and i haven’t reduced the medication yet so it will be hard to tell what is going on. Should i continue with the reduction or wait to see if i get better or worst over the next week.
I am still getting problems with my walking and pains shooting up and down the spine. I also get a numb bum and pain spreading from my spine into my bum cheeks. This had become more and more regular just lately and has me worried about loosing the feelings in my legs completely. Every thing that has been going on lately seems to all be linked to my attacks and pains in the neck i get. It makes me wonder if there isn’t some damage in my neck somewhere that is making all these symptoms appear?
Again i am being pestered by the DSS to ensure that my illness is real and i am not making it all up> It annoys me when they make you feel terrible for being ill. If i could go back to work believe me i would jump at the chance but i cannot with my condition, Imagine having a massive attack when up high somewhere or whilst carrying heavy items, its an accident waiting to happen. I do agree with them that regular checks should be made as to see how you are getting on but all these stupid questionnaires they send you and you have to fill them all in each time they do it. Record the details on a computer and that's it. If there are any changes i would notify them by mail anyway.
Its another day stuck indoors aching from the wind bumping into my internal organs. I can’t wait for it to go. This is becoming the worst experience of my life. When i get my good days i tend to go out fishing all the time as i don’t mind having an attack when on the bank side as i can hide away in my bivi and wait for the attacks to go. With the colder weather approaching i won’t have that opportunity anymore until next summer. I am hoping by then the specialist will find something to put my attacks to sleep. I am dreading the winter at the moment as i know how bad my head was last year, it takes all your strength to get through the cold months.
