Paying the Price for a Terrific Day.

What a GREAT day i had yesterday. Completely pain free and totally relaxed.

Being shut away in the flat all the time was really getting to me, it was making my depression worst for sure. Not being able to go anywhere because i was having these attacks all the time has changed my social life forever, or so i thought!

After deciding to take up my hobby of Fishing again and to take it serious has been the best decision i have made to date. It also helps that my Mother and Step-farther are both into fishing as well as my brother so it is in the family blood so to say, and yesterday was one of the most enjoyable days i have had for a while.

OK, the fishing wasn’t great, the lake that we went to has just got over a poisoning problem and had to have their fish replaced. It also seems like the lake is over fished and over fed so when it comes to the sport, the fish are what we call shy feeders and takes a lot of work to catch them. We didn't do to badly though as i managed a couple of nice Bream and loads of skimmers that kept falling off every time i brought them to the edge of the bank (really annoying) and my mother managed a few different types including Roach and Brian even managed to get himself a nice little Perch. All in all the day was a success and  with the nice warm sun on your back all the time gave a real healing feeling.

I have to say i relaxed more yesterday than any other day in my life. I really do enjoy fishing and for some reason i find it so relaxing and therapeutic, i wish i could go fishing every day but unfortunately i am now paying for yesterday. Woke up this morning ok, i wasn't woken during the night like normal as i slept like a baby after yesterdays sport. Then suddenly this morning i felt sharp pain deep inside my neck and that started a run of what i can only describe as the strongest attacks i have ever had. If i didn't know what was wrong with me for sure i would be up the hospital rite now.

So far this morning i have counted 8 big attacks, they are not lasting as long as they normally do but the pain level is way above what i am used to. I couldn’t take no more so gave in and have had one of my injections and that has seemed to have done the trick so lets hope that keeps them off for a while.

Anyway fingers crossed as its my hospital appointment tomorrow and i cant wait to see the specialist and explain everything that has been going on. I have to admit this illness is one hell of a problem to deal with and one of the worst to learn to live with. I thought Bi Polar disorder was bad enough until i was diagnosed with CH.

My heart goes out to all the sufferers of CH and their Carers, they are the ones who have to really put up with the torment of the illness and how they do it i don't know, but they are stars. I will keep you up to date as to what the hospital says so for now its time to get some oxy inside me….

Pain go away because its fishing day!

Well another early rise this morning but this time not because of a headache, makes a change. But due to excitement i think as today is my first “proper” fishing trip in years. Bought all my equipment, spent the day, yesterday, preparing specialised baits and now i think i am ready.

We have decided to fish “Pentwyn Lakes” today as they haven't been fished by my family in a few years so it will be interesting to see how well it actually does fish. My mother and step-farther is joining me on this fishing trip so should be enjoyable. Even if we don't catch anything my mother always takes her camping cooker and whips up a mean burger for lunch.

I continued to have a couple of attacks yesterday but no where near as many as i have been getting. I wonder if the medication has started to work as i have noticed a small decreases in the amount of attacks i do get. Just to be on the safe side i am taking all my medication with me for todays fishing trip. There is nothing worst then being stuck in the middle of no-where when you are having an attack with nothing to help ease the pain and i definitely don't want to end up in that position

well i cant see me getting back to sleep and there is still quiet a few hours to go before wo are off on out fishing trip so i am just going to lay on the sofa and doze away the rest of the morning. Ill report back later as to how the day went,.

Sleepless Nights

Here i am yet again woken at 4am this morning with a head attack. I don't know where this one came from as i had a great day yesterday and didn't have one attack. I even decided on an early night to make sure i got plenty of rest. I wonder if i rolled on to my left side and that caused the attacks to start again. I know its not the main course of the attacks but i have noticed if i sleep on my left side for more than thirty minuets it sets of a head attack so i think it must have something to do with pressure on that side of the head.

The morning attacks aren't like the big ones i get towards the evenings, the pain doesn't get as bad, but they still hurt like hell. I would liken them to when you have a raw nerve in an open tooth and you touch it with metal. That sharp pain you get is what these are like and they shoot from the back of the eye over the top of the left hand side of my head in to the back of the neck. Each attack only seems to last up to 20 minuets and then disappears as fast as they came. The trouble is with the early morning ones is that you get a number of them one after another until the pain seems to reach a peak and then they go.

Having attacks with only a few minuets in between is very exhausting but there is no way you can get any sleep. By the time you are dropping back off another attack starts and wakes you up. When you wake up you don't feel tired at all just a bit groggy from the attack so its a no win situation.

I am not sure how long the body can go with out proper rest but my last record was 2 weeks and then i collapsed. I was even falling asleep on my feet talking to people so its not good. I just hope these attacks die down as i was hoping for a pain free period for a while, looks like i was wishing too much.

Pain Free at last…

Finally after all those attacks and early mornings i have managed to get a full nights sleep with out being woken up. HURRAY, mind you it took 3x5ml vallium plus my normal tablets to get me to drop off. And i couldn't have had an attack during the night as i didn't stir once.

Today i feel regenerated and alive again. So far i haven't had any tell tale signs that there is an attack building and no sign of the pressure on the left hand side of my face. So looks like its time for my break and i should now get a few pain free days. Ok i have to admit it may only be one or two days but i hope it goes the full length and i get at least a weeks break from this horrible routine.

yesterday i went and bought my new fishing equipment to start my hobby up again. I didn't do to bad either i managed to get almost everything i need. There is still a few items i would like to buy but that will come in time. At least i am ready to go fishing this weekend so i am praying my head will behave it self long enough  for me to enjoy it.

sorry its only a small addition to my blog today as i want to get out and about before anything decides to start up again, so I'll check in later and bring you up to date..

3 AM Attacks….

Another un-godly hour wake up call from the beast. Its 3am and i am dead, well feel like it anyway. My eyes are sore, my head is pounding, i have a sharp pain stretching from the front of my left eye to the back of my head and down into my left side of my neck and shoulder. My god it hurts so much, i wish it would stop. Sharp sharp pain keeps stabbing me in the eye. Why have i got to suffer like this. What have i done to deserve this! No one surely should have to deal with this much pain, please god help me.

Each time i move my head i can fell how swollen things are inside, its like a pulling sensation accompanied with stabbing pains all the time. My god my face feels like its on fire. Please just let it calm down. That's it i cant take no more i have to take one of my injection!

The injection stings when you inject it into the muscle of the leg, hold it in for 5 seconds to make sure all the injection has gone in and then release. They take about 2-5 minuets to take effect depending on the strength of the attack. When they do kick in you can feel it stop the attack. A numbness comes over the stop of your head and neck and the sweating stops. Then a horrible feeling of being drained of all your energy kicks in with a side effect i can only describe as taking your breath away and tightening the chest.

I really cant keep doing this all the time, up at the crack of dawn, i have only slept for around 4 hours. I feel absolutely exhausted. Its pointless me trying to get back to sleep as now my neck has started and if i do try i am sure to wake with another attack. So its early morning TV and messing about on the computer and hope i can get some rest later in the day. 

Hot or Cold….

God i hate it when i am rite. All day yesterday i experienced different attacks ranging from small ones that lasted 5-10 minuets and massive ones that lasted over an hour. I hate it when the weather is bad like it was yesterday, the pain just wouldn't go away no matter how much i relaxed or tried to concentrate on something else.

One attack was so severe, i ended up holding my head next to the electric fire so that the heat level matched the level of pain i was getting. This started to ease the pain, and i found that as i slowly moved away from the fire reducing the level of heat, then the pain level would also reduce at the same time. I have tried this before and it worked well in getting rid off or controlling the pain levels. I do wonder if i am causing any further troubles as when i did this little exercise my face became a lot more swollen than usual.

I have heard of “ICE” being used to treat CH, and it has had a good success rate but not everyone finds that the ice treatment helps. This is now about the 10th time i have tried to use heat to treat my attacks and it is the 3rd time it has been successful at doing just that. Most of the time if i use the heat treatment it is just to control the pain as i found it didn't normally abort the attack, but yesterday was different and it actually stopped the attack in its tracks. Mind you it did take about 30 minuets to do it so i could be wrong and the attack decided to stop on its own but i don't think that is what happened. I am wondering where all the swelling on the face is coming from, is it a nerve swelling up or a muscle when in pain. As to the exact cause i can only speculate but i definitely saw a difference after i used the heat treatment. I know ICE can be good for bringing out bruising and to make swelling go down but i thought that was also the case with heat in certain circumstances, or is it just a wives tale? because when i use the heat the swelling seems to be worst.

Well again its 10 to 6 in the morning and i was woken up with my head deciding it wanted to give me a nice early morning again, swollen eye and runny nose is the order of the day so i can expect a few large attacks today. I don't have the shadow at the moment, all i am getting is a little shooting pain behind the eye this morning, feels like i got something in my eye socket and its scratching the back of my eyeball. I know through experience though, this is just the start of some very painful attacks so i best keep my injections close at hand.

Well as i said in my earlier blogs i was going to start up my fishing hobby once again and today is the day i go a buy all my equipment. I was surprised to see how much the sport of fishing has grown in the UK and how many people actually now enjoy the sport. There is so much nice equipment on the market it is getting difficult to choose! It never used to be like this when i was young, i remember fishing competitions on the side of the river “Ouze”, just outside Cambridgeshire, and there was a lot less people doing the sport then as compared to now. Well fingers crossed i find the equipment i am looking for and this weekend i should be out there fishing once again!

Winter is on its way…

I was lucky as i didn't have any more big attacks yesterday, i had a couple of smaller ones but no where near as bad as they normally are, i would have rated them on a level 4 on the pain scale of 1 to 10.

Again its the morning ones that are worst than the others. early morning wake up calls seem to be the norm now days as i was woken up again this morning at 3am with an attack, and this time it was a massive one!

Suddenly woke up not feeling tired, was wide awake and that is just not normal for me fist thing in the morning. “Why was i awake so early?”, i thought. Then came the sharp pain behind the eye and over the top of the head. So i jumped out of bed and sat in the living room waiting for the pain to increase to a level where i cant take it no more. I took my tablets and sat breathing in the oxygen hoping that would be enough to abort the attack again but i wasn’t so lucky this time. The attack just seemed to get stronger and stronger, so i gave in and grabbed my first injection of the day.

I really don't like taking these injections but i know they are a must if i am to control this beast. I took it hoping it would stop the attack quickly like it normally does but this time i was too late taking it. The injection just didn't seem to touch the pain this time and it continued to grow in strength. Pacing up and down the room, crying out in agony and pain. How i didn't wake the rest of the flats i don't know as i was surely load enough to wake the dead.

An hour had passed and the pain was still with me, massaging my head vigorously seems to help when the pain is this strong, it helps me concentrate on my breathing too. It is very hard to think positively when you are in so much pain, i know the attack isn’t going to kill me but when you are at that level of pain it sure feels like it is trying. Then, yet again, the pain just disappeared as fast as it came.

After the attack my neck felt like it had been crushed and ever time i moved my head i could feel a grinding sensation that i think is the bones rubbing together. Also i keep getting sharp pains in the back. These pains are slightly different from the head pain as they only appear when i have had the big attacks and when i try and walk its like i have aged 50 years over night. I try to walk and all i get is shooting pains up the front of the legs (not the back where i would think muscle pain would come from) and into the bottom of my spine. I can only assume at the moment that these pains are caused by a nerve swelling up or trapping after an attack. It makes moving around very difficult and painful, and these pains normally last a few hours after the initial attack. They have al;so been known to set off secondary attacks straight after the main one, so i am very careful not to let that happen as i don't think i could cope with attacks straight after each other. At least i get a few hours break in between them at the moment, imagine if they was every hour or so, my god i just couldn’t cope!

Well its looks horrible and grey out there today so i have to wrap up this morning as the cold damp air normally triggers an attack and with the winter slowly drawing in i know i am in for an interesting season! I know how much the pain and the attacks increase during the winter months so i have to prepare now, woolly hats and wrap around scarfs are the order of the day when the winter months arrive ……..