CH Posters!

These posters were designed by the same person that has been doing all the add work for CH Support on Facebook, I have to say although the one with the eye IS a little graphic and i can see why they removed it to make the new one, all of these posters clearly show how painful these attacks we have are and are brilliant, well done! Spread them around and help to raise awareness about this rare and disabling condition. 

Click on image to enlarge

 

Anyone looking for more information on Cluster Headaches and how to recognize the symptoms please visit:

http://www.clusterheadaches.com/ , http://clusterbusters.com/ , http://www.ouchuk.org/html/ , http://www.clusterheadacheinfo.org/ , https://www.facebook.com/groups/CHSupport/ , https://www.facebook.com/groups/17789934480/

All of these sites have great resources and information with regards to the CH condition and how to treat it and help to control the attacks. Although these sites can point you in the right direction in treating your condition always check with your doctor and always get an official diagnosis before using any of the treatments listed within these sites.

Choose between the Devil and the Beast?

Again i was lucky yesterday with no attacks appearing until late in the day. The attacks seem to have reduced in the number that i get during the day. Not only have they reduced but it seems like they don’t start playing me up until late afternoon or early evening and the bigger attacks seem to be late in the evening and early hours of the morning.

Yesterday i had a meeting with my doctor, luckily it was in the morning so i didn't have an attack when i was there but i did have a depressive bout and a bit of a break down. As we discussed the medication i was on and what was expected in the future it just started to get to me and i couldn’t hold it back no matter what i tried. My depression has been all over the place the last few weeks and i feel like a yoyo with my moods constantly changing up and down. I have never cycled through so many feelings so fast before.

One minuet i am fine and i can do anything. I can fight this illness, do the things i want to do and go about my normal day with out any problems at all and then there are the other times, when i can’t even go out of the flat door, close myself away because i don’t want people seeing me when i have an attack and when i am feeling so ill and helpless. I cant even cope with the little things. Even small thing like spilling your coffee seems to have me on the edge of a break down when i am feeling as low as i do sometimes.

Well, all this was reported to the doctor so she has now decided to freeze my medication for a couple of weeks until either the depression settles and stops yoyo-ing or we hear what to do from my Neurologist. She is worried that one of the main side effects is depression and as i suffer bi-polar anyway it could be making it worst. I understand her feelings but at the moment i thought it was more important to get to grip with these attacks. I thought the medication is actually having an effect and reducing the number of attacks i get so increasing the dosage as planned should eventually have these attacks under control, i hope so anyway. I understand that my depression could be made a lot worst by this medication as well so its hard to choose between the devil or the beast.

Lets hope my moods start to settle a bit after a couple of days. I am sure it is just everything that has happened over the last couple of months that has made my depression worst and aggravated a normally controlled condition and caused it to yoyo the way it is. Anyhow, i am feeling a lot better today and hope that getting it all of my chest is the first step to getting it back under control again and it won’t last long so we can get my medication back on track.

Be safe! Not sorry…..

Well yesterday wasn’t as bad as i was expecting, I didn't have any other attacks through the day and the shadows that i normally get seemed to ease off during the day. It was still bitterly cold yesterday so we are definitely in for a very cold winter this year i recon , time to wrap up again. It wasn’t until i decided to go to bed, then after i got my self all warm , jumped into bed, covered myself up so no cold could get in then all of a sudden my head went.

The pain started at the top of the jaw this time instead of behind the eye. It does sometimes start at the jaw and this is how i was fooled into thinking it was a tooth nerve that was causing all the problems. The pain increased rapidly, a lot quicker than when it starts behind the eye but the effects are the same. My eye started to stream with water and the eye began to close whilst the side of my face began to droop as usual. Then came the pain at the top of the head stretching from the front to the back and into the neck. By the time i got up and grabbed my injection i was already in a state, each time i took a step a sharp pain up my back and along my spine kept me from moving too quickly. I took my injection and then sat in front of my electric fire rocking back and forth with the pain trying to control how sharp it was by massaging my head at the same time.

As soon as the injection kicked in you could feel it attack the pain and start to numb the areas that were hurting so badly, it is amazing at the speed these attacks come on and then when it is over how quickly they just stop again. Its as if someone has flicked a switch. I didn't have any other attacks apart from that one yesterday and my head is feeling ok today, so far!

I am just hoping this cold weather doesn’t keep causing attacks to start as its going to be a long enough winter with out the cold playing its usual part. I don't have any shadows this morning but i have been fooled like this before and the last time i thought i didn't have any shadows and went out into the cold i ended up in agony for over a week so i think i will be safe rather than sorry and still wrap up with my woolly hat and scarf.

Chilly start signals winter is HERE!

Another cold night with the temperature dropping really low again signals the start of the winter also the fact that the clocks have gone back an hour and the evening are getting dark so early again. I managed to get a good nights sleep despite my head trying to play up all night. It kept building in pressure on the left hand side and every time i thought an attack was about to start it would just die down and ease off. It may have been the fact that i was by the electric fire and every time i thought an attacks was coming i would keep my head close to the fire not close enough to feel the burn but enough to feel the heat warming up my head.

It could be another way of controlling the beast! Heat has always played a part in me controlling the pain when it comes. I sometimes use heat as a distraction, what i mean by this is when the pain attacks are severe i place my head close to the electric fire so that the heat  actually has a burning feeling on the side of the face. I make that burning feeling the same level as the pain by moving my head close to or away from the fire. I would then wait a few moments and then slowly move my head away from the fire reducing the level of heat and that in turn would help the pain level reduce at the same time.

Well i don't know if it the medication or if i am coming to the end of a cycle, but the attacks seem to have reduced in the number i am getting during a day. This has happened before, normally as the winter ends and the nicer weather begins, it has never happened at the start of winter as this is the of the year that the attacks become worst. I thank god for the reduction at the moment as i know what i am in for over the next couple of months. It could just be the end of one cycle and a small pause before the next cycle begins. I am praying it is the medication and i think it is something i need to point out and discuss with the doctor.

I have my woolly hat to keep my head warm when i am out and about so i should be ok. A good scarf to cover the face if the wind really blows like it did when i went fishing, and of course make sure i wrap up so i don't catch another cold! The runny nose has now finally gone and the bad head but the sore throat is still there and i am getting stomach problems as well so i will still try and take things easy today, Rest until i feel 100%!

Looks like it cost me more than a day ticket!

I admit that i love my fishing but yesterday was a trip too many. It was blooming freezing! The wind was like ice when it blue on you and the temperature couldn’t have been more than 5 degrees. Even though the sun was out! I was wrapped up well but that couldn't even keep the chill out.

I was VERY lucky not to have an attack yesterday as the cold could have easily set one off but i managed to keep my hat on all the time i was fishing. With that wind and temperature there was no way i was taking it off. If i started to get too cold i could duck out of the wind in my shelter witch i might add was taking a battering from the wind. I did have a couple of twinges or shadows where i thought t was going to start but it just seemed to stop after a while. I took my injections with me just in case i needed them, better to be safe than sorry, lucky i didn’t.

It wasn’t totally terrible and i did manage to catch a couple of fish, even though they were only small, at the start of the day. I think it was way too cold. When i got back home my neck was killing me. After i managed to warm my self up i started to feel ill. My nose wouldn’t stop running and for some reason my neck was aching. Its the same place when i get attacks so it started to concern me a bit but i was luck and no attack came till about 6.30 this morning. It was only small attack and i was able to control it with oxygen and my injection. It was still strong enough to make my eye close and head swell up again though.

I am feeling really ill today. I think i did catch something big fishing yesterday, a Cold! My head is shadowing something rotten and i can really feel the pressure on the left hand side of my head. I am for sure in for some BIG attacks today as i have felt like this before and it wasn’t much fun last time. The cold always has this effect on my head and with the temperature dropping over the last two days i think its the start of the Winter season. My god i only just realised the clock has gone back an hour! I could have had an extra hour in bed, well wrapped up on the sofa because of my attack this morning.I am daft sometimes, i cant believe i forgot and i was only talking about it with my mum the other day, on Friday, my memory is getting bad.

Well it looks like today is a day of staying wrapped up on the sofa and plenty of hot drinks. Try and shake off this cold as fast as i can so i don't have to suffer the horrible head that goes along with it. Looks like my last coarse fishing trip of the year cost me more than a day ticket this time and if i do any sea fishing during the winter it will be with thermal clothing and artic condition protective jackets and hats.

Good start to a fun day!

I continued to have some small attacks yesterday during the day time, again when i was out shopping a full blown attack hit me, the beast doesn't care where you are! It was as if someone had walked up and punched me in the eye. The eye started streaming with water and a shooting pain straight through the head. I quickly took my injection to abort it but as with some of the attacks it took a little time to stop so i sat on the fence outside the shop rocking back and forth holding my sleeve against my left eye.

I lost count how many people actually came up to me and asked if was alright and if they could help. It was nice to see that they are so supportive when you are in trouble but at time like that all you want to do is be left alone. About 10 minuets passed and then the injection kicked in, it made me a little breathless but i was ok to jump on the bus and get my self home. times like that are scary and i hate being in that situation. I am ok when i go fishing however as it seems to keep me calm and if i do get an attack i can just hide in my little cave (an umbrella with sides you can pull down to hide away from others).

Well i was woken again this morning, this time at 1.30am, it gets earlier i am sure. I am so glad i decided to sleep yesterday afternoon early as i am off fishing today at the crack of dawn. I wasn't actually woken to an attack i just suddenly woke up, eyes wide open and not feeling tired, well maybe just a bit., but there is no sign of an attack. I don’t have any shadows building and no pain in the neck. It could be just the excitement of fishing kicking in but i think it also has some thing to do with the cold as the temperature dropped during the night very low and i could feel the cold on the top of my head. Yesterday when i got the attacks it was a chilly wind blowing in my face and i had forgotten to wear my hat. Well i wont be making that mistake today.

It looks like this will be the last fishing trip for coarse fishing this year as the cold weather is setting in and i wont be able to go out with my head. the last few fishing trips with my family have been god sent. They have helped me keep busy, keep my mind from worrying too much and helped me to stay calm whilst coming to terms with this illness, I know i have a journey to go on before they find the solution but i know they will soon and i will be able to get lots of fishing in next year. I will probably start the year earlier than normal. I made a decision the other day and make a go of this Tour of Fishing around Wales. I figure it would take me 3 – 5 years to be able to fish almost all the lakes and rivers in wales so if i work from here and slowly spread out, travelling further each time i will do it eventually and will record the whole thing online.

Hey! my parents and even behind me so i got no excuse. I refuse to let this illness stop me! I may even look out for a sponsor but i haven’t a clue where to start or who to speak to. I even wouldn’t mind doing  this for charity or to raise awareness for the illness and to get people to recognise the support groups. All i know is i am definitely going to do it as its a sport i love doing, it seems to help me cope with things and gives me a goal. Well it is not long before i get kitted up and am off fishing so fingers and toes crossed for a nice days fishing and hope its a pain free one!

Woken with an attack from hell! OUCH!

I was hoping that the pain free days would last and i would have more than just a couple of days break in between attacks. I managed 4 days total this time with out any incident. Then at around 2.30am this morning i was woken up by what i cam only describe as an attack from hell.

I could actually feel some thing building in my head last night. It was like it was trying to shadow yesterday but wasn’t quite strong enough and kept disappearing again. When it hit me this morning it was if someone had run into the bedroom and hit me round the side of the head with an bat. My god my ears were even ringing in pain. The amount of sweat coming off me was unreal, the bed suddenly became soaked so i had to get up. In turn, where the sweat had soaked not only the bed but my clothing as well, i started to shake and  shiver as the cold hit the sweat on my body and i could feel it like it was exaggerated, like i was placed into a freezer. I rushed into the living room, turned on the heater and sat there warming till i stopped shaking.

I took my injection at the first sign of the attack as soon as i woke up but the injection wasn’t helping as much as it normally does, again! It’s not every time the injection is overpowered but when it is you know you are having a bad one. All i could do was massage my head and rock back and forth in screaming agony in front of the fire warming up and waiting for the pain to eventually stop. It seamed like it was carrying on forever, all i could do was pray to god for the pain to go, but to me it felt like it was just increasing every second. I actually thought this was the attack to end all attacks, the one to finish me off. Just as i was loosing all hope it stopped, as quick as it started it was gone. I looked up at the clock, when i came in it was 3.35am and now it was 5.05am. It had gone one for over an hour and half but to me at the time it felt like it was forever.

My eye is still a little sore and the top of my head is throbbing and my neck feels like it has a golf ball in it but for the moment i am again in control and have no pain. The shadow or feeling of pressure is there constantly so i know its not the last attack today, i have to take it easy as not to aggravate it and start another one. The cold is the biggest trigger for setting off attacks so i am hoping the weather is going to be kind to me this winter but i have a bad feeling that we are in for one heck of a cold winter. When the “real” winter kicks in i am going to be in agony i cant tell you so i have to try and take as many precautions as i can. I have bought a couple of woolly hats to keep my head warm and i have a real thick woollen scarf that my neighbour actually knitted for me last winter to help me keep the cold out. I think i am prepared but we will have to wait and see.

Well even though i have it under control at the moment i can feel it trying to start to build again. I know i wont have another attacks for at least 20 minuets so i think its time to jump on the oxygen for a while and see if that helps to reduce this shadow feeling.