Again woken at 3.30am this morning to a cold start to the day causing me agonising pain. I can feel the cold on the top of my head when i wake up and have to rush into the front room and try and warm it up as fast as i can using the electric fire and also putting the heating on full so that the temperature of the flat is up above the 15 degrees mark. Cold always seems to make any pain a lot worst than it is. I remember hurting my hand whilst out in the cold and it always seemed a lot more painful. Yet again i have been left with a sore neck and bad back that keeps on giving me the shooting pains right up the spine and over the head. If i walk about i also start to get pains in my legs so i tend not to move about to much if i am having a bad day. Even when sitting still the back starts to ache and hurt after a while so i am constantly shifting position or having to move about just so it doesn’t end up causing another attack to build and start. I have found one spot in my neck that if i massage it hard enough it starts to ease the back pain but the only trouble doing that is it starts to hurt my fingers from applying hard pressure constantly to the same point in the neck and then the neck will start to hurt and ache. So no matter what i do i end up in pain.
On the up side i am now sure the medication is definitely working as i have seen a huge reduction in the amount of attacks i get in a 24 hour period. You may think i am mad as i am still getting the attacks daily but when you look back to what i was like last year i can see a huge difference. It is such a shame i didn’t start writing this blog a year ago as by now i would be able to out the data together and actually see how the attacks have changed over time. The only thing i am worried about is that even though the attacks have reduced and i am now able to control the condition using the tablets, injections and oxygen i still believe it is getting worst. It seems to have spread from my head down into the neck and now down into the back. I also believe it is slowly moving towards my legs as i do sometimes get real agonising pain as i walk the short distance to my chemist to pick up my weekly medication. I have now started to use the oxygen on a more regular basis and now sit for 20 minuets every day even if i don’t have an attack as i believe it is helping to stop the attacks from building. When i do have an attack, if i am able to use it, then the oxygen can even reduce the amount of time the attack lasts by 50%. Unfortunately i am not always able to use it when having a big attack as trying to keep still or place a mask over your face when you are in extreme pain is almost impossible sometimes so i have to ride the attacks with out the help of the oxygen if this happens.
I am looking forwards to my meeting with the specialist as i have so many questions now that i would like to ask and get answers for. If they turn around and tell me i have to do this for the rest of my life i am sure i can cope with a couple of attacks per week if i can get them to reduce down to that. Only having one or two a day is a huge improvement and i have started getting my quality of life back. I know its going to take time and going to be a long hard journey trying to get my health back together again and i have to make sure i always take precautions not to set of any attacks. I am still locking myself away and not going out especially in the cold weather so i can avoid it. I have started going up my mums every Sunday for dinner so that's a step in the right direction at least i can get out for one day in the week and visit my family. I have also started to go and do my own shopping again, apart from yesterday when my mother came to my rescue and did my shopping for me. The only trouble is when carrying the shopping back i always seem to end up aggravating my back and end up in agony.
The other day i was walking back from the shop with a bag full of shopping that was quite heavy and was carrying it in my right hand when suddenly the pain in my back started. The pain became so bad i was pouring with sweat even though the snow was on the ground and the weather was freezing. I then started to get even worst and it was so bad i couldn’t even take a step and was about to collapse. I began to panic not knowing what to do as i had never experienced this before now. Then, when i was at my lowest thinking this was it i am not going to be able to walk, suddenly all i did was change hands to my left hand and the pain began to ease. I couldn’t believe it. Something so simple as changing hands would solve the problem. This was so strange i didn’t believe it at first so i placed the bag back into my right hand and the pain came back again.This was crazy, the pain was really bad and was right at the bottom of the spine and slightly to the left spreading down into my buttocks and caused me almost to collapse to the floor but as soon as i changed hands it was gone. The only cause i can think of is the attacks i get. It seems to be an after effect of the attacks and the pain i get in my back. I am just praying it doesn’t start effecting my walking and lifting in the future and we nip this in the butt (excuse the pun) before it starts to get any worst.
I have been watching the weather religiously lately to see when the weather will start to warm up and improve. It looks like the snow is about to disappear as here in Cardiff it seems to have melted where i am and there is only slush on the roads and a little on pavements and roof tops. I have checked the weather for the next 10 days to see if it is going to improve and i can’t say that it will to be honest. Even though the snow may be melting and about to disappear we are forecast to have a whole week of rain with no break in between so i can see us ending up with floods and all sorts. The temperature will be going up back to the 7 or 9 degree mark and increasing to a massive 11 degrees when the weekend appears in the first week of February. Again i am hoping as the weather improves so will my condition and i will start to get pain free periods again that won’t just last 1 or 2 days and will eventually last 2 or 3 weeks at a time allowing me to start putting my life back together.
