Well once again i have had to change medication after stopping my last lot due to an allergic reaction and really bad side effects. The doctor seems to feel my body is super sensitive to any type of medication and the neurologist thinks that Amertriplin will be the one that works. Well he wasn't far wrong. After starting the medication i noticed in the first week a massive reduction in the attacks i have and also the sharp pain down the left side of the back from the neck to the base of my spine seems to have eased away and only plays up once or twice a week as opposed to 3 or 4 times a day. I also noticed that the pain in the left side of my neck has eased so what ever the tablets are doing it seems to work.
The second week was a bit harder as i started to have very bad nightmares but i am used to them from medication as i used to get it from my Mirtazapine that helps to keep my Bipolar on the level i need to be. It took a while for those dreams to ease off so i think this will be the same with the Amertriplin. The third week was a totally different story! Suddenly one day i started to get the beginnings of withdrawal symptoms as though the methadone i am on is no longer working properly. I have asked several times to be taken off the methadone but because i have been having so many health issues the doctors are reluctant to reduce me and i have to stay with the same dose for a while until they feel happy with me. OK it was my own fault for self medicating and becoming addicted but years ago i had no other choice as no one could diagnose what was wrong with me.
Now i am in the 4 th week and the withdrawal symptoms are getting worst. I have seen the doctor and she told me it could be the Amertriplin running out and the body is now looking for the drug and i end up in cold sweats all the time and a very high level of anxiety. She decided to give me a 10 ml tablet to take in the mornings to ease the symptoms until i take my 25 ml dose at night. Even though i only started the morning dose this week i am still getting horrible withdrawal symptoms. Thankfully the stomach cramps and sickness doesn't start and its only the sweat and anxiety that gets to me. The biggest problem i have due to being Bipolar is that anxiety brings on panic attacks and it actually causes physical symptoms rather than mental. I end up with severe chest pains, breathing problems and shake horribly.
I am praying the body starts to level out after the fourth week and i start to get used to things as i don't know how much more i can take of these symptoms. I have found myself seeking things to calm me down like Valium or cannabis and this is the last thing i want. To start self medicating all over again after over 16 years of hell is the one thing i don't want to do. Now i know the condition i have is incurable it has taken me a long time to learn how to handle the level of pain all the time that the attacks bring and to end up back at the start isn't something i thought would ever happen. I am praying to god the doctors are right and these tablets will settle eventually otherwise its another medication that has failed to help me and yet again made me even more ill. Why do i agree to take theses medications i don't know, but with out something i wouldn't survive or last very long. It Just seems to me that ever since we started trying to get the attacks under control the medications i have been on have all ended up making things worst and effecting my health in a negative way. I really hope things will change and this year will be a better one as i am having less attacks but am paying the price with my health.
