My mother was such a strong inspiration to me, not only did she care for me, no matter what I did wrong and she was always the one to point me in the right direction again, but also cared for my health. She battled and beat cancer, she even survived double kidney failure and even beat of the covid infection the first time around.
Unfortunately the viral infection had caused so much damage to the body that it was just slowly giving up and after her leg breaking from just standing up, bones had become brittle from the Infrction, it seemed like it was just one thing to much for her and she eventually lost the battle.
My heart has never felt so much pain in my entire life, I didn't feel this bad when my father passed and I used to think I was closer to my dad than my mother but boy was I so wrong. Its really hit me hard and I am struggling daily, battling back the tears and sadness non stop, all day long.
It was my mother who started me in my fishing journey all those years ago when I was struggling with my mental health and clusters had began. She would make sure we would go out and fish together at the beginning until she became to weak to come on the trips. It helped me to deal with my demons and focus on myself and how to manage my condition. I am going to be lost with out her positive input and constant pushing me to be a better person.
You don't realise how presious someone is to you until they are gone. It's going to be a long hard road to get over this if I ever will, all I know is the pain is strong and will be here for some time to come. I know as each day passes you learn to live with it and accept it but try telling yourself that when you are hurting.
I get mad reading all the BS on social media about the covid virus and people not believing its real or that somehow gouverments are creating the issue but all I can really see if 100's of thousands of idiots. The virus is real, I've witnessed it, had it and have now lost the person most presious to me from the consequences of the viral infection. Anyone still thinking it's a joke, a conspiracy or a way of control really need to bang thier heads against a brick wall really hard. If that fails get a mate to hit them over the head with a sledgehammer as they don't have brains to damage anyway. Enough is enough. Get a grip on reality the lot of you and let the ones who have lost loved ones morn in peace instead of having your BS shoved down thier throats on a daily basis.
Well I've said what I wanted, it doesn't make any difference to the amount of heart break I am feeling right now, all I know is heaven has a very special angel joining the ranks and I pray I make her proud.
Miss you and love you forever mum!
