Pain Free but will its Last?

Well at least i managed to stay pain free yesterday as we decided to go fishing up at Peterstone Lakes.The weather had warmed up compared to previous weeks, so i was lucky that the cold wasn’t blowing directly at me as i had my gazebo brolly with me and could hide away out of the wind. My mother, on the other had, was sat directly in the direction the wind was blowing and had to give up half way through the day as the cold had gotten to the joints and started the painful aches.

We still had a great day out ad my mother and step farther managed to catch themselves a few small fish where as i didn’t manage to catch any in the time that we had. I have decided to get another day in fishing today down at my local lake but due to it being foggy and overcast i will have to make sure i do wrap up very well as the damp will eventually find its way in if i don’t.

So far i haven’t had any attacks from yesterdays trip so i am happy the coldness hasn’t started of a chain reaction with my head. There are no shadows at the moment and i feel pretty positive this morning so i am hoping the day remains pain free. I will take my injections with me just in case and a flask of hot coffee to make sure i keep my body temperature up and this should ensure that i don’t get any painful attacks today.

I am now looking forwards to my brain scan scheduled on the 1st December as finally i will get some answers to questions i have had for a few years with regards to the swelling on the left side of my head. I am still convinced there is something that has caused my condition to accelerate. i feel like there is something that is causing all this swelling and i really want to make sure there is nothing there that can cause me problems in the years to come.

Only a short blog today as i am in the middle of getting my tackle ready to leave. It will be a late start today as i have to go and get my medication from the chemist at 9.30 before i do anything else. Other wise i will be in a world of trouble and end up in agonizing pain. Finger crossed i continue pain free today and i also manage to catch me a nice big fish.

Oh what a Night!

Boy did i have a few bad attacks yesterday, It wasn’t only in the morning but also late evening when they decided to play up again and i had some of the worst attacks i remember. It wasn’t helped wit the fact that i had taken my injections earlier in the day so i couldn’t even help when they came. All i could do was massage my head and stay on my oxygen until the pain eased enough for me to relax. The pain was so strong yesterday it has left me with a constant sore face. Any area on the left side of my head is extremely tender and if i try and touch my face with my fingernail it makes it feel really sharp.

I don't know how long the soreness will last i am just praying it doesn’t set off to many attacks today. I had an early morning wake up call at 4am but luckily it was only the cold that woke me and the head wasn’t building an attack. I went straight back to bed and thankfully fell asleep until 7am this morning when i was woken by my alarm. The head is shadowing strong but that is only to be expected as the cold weather has dropped in temperature quiet a bit and that in turn has started a period of attacks. I get like this every winter so to be honest it doesn’t really surprise me.  I was just hoping that the medication would help a little when it came to this time of year.

I know the medication has done something as i haven’t been having half as many attacks as i normally do and i think yesterday was probably only as bad as it was because of me going fishing on Sunday and spending the whole day out in the cold weather. We will have to see if this happens again on my next trip out some time this week. If id does then i will really have to consider my options and ban my self from fishing in the winter months witch is something i really didn't want to do but may be forced into doing it.

The beast is waiting to pounce, God help me!

Yesterday i had a brilliant day fishing with my step farther. The weather has been freezing all week and the one day we chose to go fishing turned out to be the sunniest day of the entire week. The start was cold but it soon warmed up as we got into it. I was scared at first that it would bring on an attack so the first thing i did was set-up my gazebo umbrella so that if i did have an attack i cold disappear inside and take my injection. As the day progressed the sun decided to come out about lunch time and i was so warm i had to start stripping layers of clothing off, that i had worn just in case it was freezing, and ended up sat at the water side sweating buckets.

When i returned home after the fishing trip i was so tired i couldn’t be bothered doing anything i just sat down watched a movie and then decided, as i was nodding off during the movie, to retreat to my bed. I was hoping that as i was so knackered i would sleep right through. Unfortunately the cold weather decided to return and give me a rude wake up call at 3am.

At first i thought it was the shadow just playing up and tried to force myself to ignore it and stay wrapped up in bed but it wasn’t the case. Usually i would rush and take my injection when the onset of an attack is building in order to catch it in time so it wont progress into a full attack. Where i was thinking it was the shadow i decided not to do this and it ended up being the worst mistake i have made to date. The pain started behind the eye, it was like something had got into my eye at first, like a piece of grit or dust or something, but then the shooting pain over the head started and i had to jump out of bed and rush into the living room. I was wide awake by this point and my eye was streaming. I took my injection knowing this was going to build into a nasty attack as i could now feel it all over the left side of my face. The pain continued to build over the next few minuets and even started making me feel sick it was that strong. The injection kicked in after about 15 minuets but it didn't completely stop the attack, all it did was reduce the level of pain on the front of the head. The pain over the top of the head and into my neck continued and i was i absolute agony.

This attack continued for around an hour and by the time it was finished i felt as if i had been run over by a bus or something. I tried to get some rest but it was having none of it as at 6.30 this morning another one decided to come and start. I took my 2nd injection straight away as i could feel how big this one was going to be and thankfully it did stop the attack just as it was starting to build into pain that was unbearable. Again i could feel the cold ring around the top of my head so i know for sure it is the cold again that has triggered it.

I am going to have to make sure i wrap up very warm today as it seems to be hanging in the background just waiting to build again. I have very strong shadows this morning and my back is hurting like never before. There are shooting pains going from the top of my neck down the back right in the spine every time i move. It is so bad it makes sitting or lying very uncomfortable and annoying. I am dreading going up to get my meds this morning in this cold weather as i know it is just going to set off more attacks today i and i don’t have (not allowed more than 2) any more injections today so i have nothing to help me when the beast does decide to come and pay me another visit. I am praying to god that they will stay away but i know my own body and all the warning signs are there so god help me today!

Feeling more positive! Fishing Today!

Thankfully i didn’t get anymore large attacks yesterday evening or during the night. There was a couple of times where i thought i was going to have an attack as i was woken up suddenly but thank god it was just the shadow feeling and i eventually fell back to sleep. I decided on an early night last night as i decided i am going fishing today with my step-farther. The weather has warmed up enough for us to get in a couple more trips before we hang our tackle up for the year.

It was the best decision i made, getting an early night! I have woken today feeling great. No sign of a shadow and no sign of an attack building so fingers crossed it stays like this for the rest of today. I am a little excited about going fishing but that is only natural. I feel completely recharged and full of energy, lets see if i remain so positive after sitting out in the cold for most of the day.

The weather forecast is no rain but some low clouds during the day so it should be a little overcast, which is perfect fishing conditions if you ask me. I am just hoping that the wind doesn’t pick up and the temperature stays warmish as it is normally the cold air blowing against my face and head that starts off the attacks in the cold. I don’t think this will be that case today and i should have a relatively pain free day. I will make sure i take my gazebo brolly with me so in case i do have an attack i can just crawl in there out of the wind and take my injection if needs be.

Well i am not going to bore you with the same old moaning and groaning about my condition today as i feel in a more positive frame of mind and i am going to get myself ready for fishing as i am being picked up at 8am so that we can get an early start and a full days fishing in. I will update all my blogs later tonight after we see how the day progresses.

The Beast is waiting to pounce!

I managed to stay attack free for a few hours yesterday but had a strong shadow all through the day. I had this horrible sick feeling for most of the morning that i can only think was caused by the amount of medication i am taking. No matter what i tried i couldn’t shift it, if i drank or ate anything then the feeling would become stronger but i wasn’t actually physically sick. I am not sure what is worst, actually being sick or feeling it constantly? Sometimes i wonder if just getting it over and done with is the best way.

Anyway, it wasn’t until i decided to go shopping when the beast decided to catch up with me and the pain started to build in my head. I know it was due to the cold getting to it so i quickly turned and retreated back to my flat to get back into the warmth. As you can see i quickly took a picture with my mobile, just as the attack was beginning, and you can see where my face has quickly dropped and also started to swell.

As soon as i got back into the flat it was a case of, strip the jacket off as fast as is possible and take my injection, then switch the electric fire on and get my head close to it to get it warm as fast as is possible. This trick seems to help when the attack does reach its peak and instead of lasting 1 or 2 hours it helps to reduce the time to around half an hour or 45 minuets. Sometimes if you combine it with the oxygen it can also reduce it further to around 10 or 15 minuets but this doesn't always work.

Thankfully that was my last attack of the day and i didn't get anymore during the night either. Mind you i did have the heating on full blast all night, as i just wanted a good nights sleep, but doing that could become very expensive! I was then woken at 4.30am but i didn’t have a full attack i just seemed to have a strong shadow as if its just waiting in the back ground. Waiting for me to forget about it!….. and then it will attack. I have tried strong coffee as sometimes this helps to reduce the shadow feeling and i have made sure i have taken my medication but its having none of it. It’s just hanging there. Making itself known, every now and again it sends, what feels like, small electric shocks to different parts of the head along the left side. It also send shocks down the back in the spine and makes sitting very uncomfortable.

Well i am making sure i stay warm today so i don't get any big attacks that's for sure. If i can manage to stay relatively pain free today then i should be ok for tomorrows fishing trip. We have decided to get 1 or 2 more trips in before we hang up our tackle for the year as it will just be way too cold soon. The weather is being kind at the moment and is warming up slightly but this won’t last. At least this medication i am on is working as i am now having far less attacks than usual. I think i am lucky in that respect as i have read stories of other sufferers that have spent years and i do mean years, trying to find the right medication that works for them. I am just hoping my body doesn’t build up an immunity to the drug and i end up going down the same route. Ill have to cross that bridge if it happens.

Time to fight the beast again!

Thank god i didn't have anymore big attacks last night. Normally i get between 4 and 8 attacks during a day but yesterday i had 4 massive attacks and one small one and then it disappeared. The shadow feeling eased of by late evening and no more attacks came or tried to build while i was sleeping. The attacks don’t half take your energy away from you, after you have had an attack you feel like you have been in a gym for about 4 or 5 hours dong non stop exercise, that's how painful the nerves become, you end up aching all over.

If you look closely at the photograph i took for my Facebook profile you can see the left hand side of the face in drooping permanently . Everyone who sees me like this always seems to ask the same questions..”have you had a stroke?”

Its not always as bad as you see in the picture as the face only droops when i get the bad attacks. Just lately though, the face has been keeping the droopy look even days after the attack so it is a bit worrying but i am assured it is just because of the nerve that it is doing this. Each time i get an attack or the nerve lights up and i am in agonizing pain, it seems like it is making the face worst. I do get days when i look in the mirror and notice that its not as bad as it looks but the cold seems to have a bad effect on it and it keeps the droopy look for longer than usual.

I didn’t manage a lay in this morning as the cold, once again, has woken me up. It hasn’t brought on a large attack yet, thankfully, but i am getting some strong shadows this morning so i am sure i will get an attack before the morning is out. One thing i have noticed about the cold is that it makes any pain you feel 10 x stronger than normal. When walking to the bathroom during the night i stubbed my toe on the corner of the door, not being awake properly and not watching where i was going, i ended up rolling around on the bed like i had broken my foot it felt that painful. It was only worst because i was very cold last night and had cold feet as well  and it just seemed to amplify the pain.

Well it’s shopping day today so i am hoping to god that the attacks will stay away, or at least stay away long enough just for me to finish all the running around i have to do today. I hate it when i am like this as it makes me NOT want to go out anywhere, i normally hide away from everyone when i am like this, but today i have to make the effort if i keep giving in to the beast i will not get anywhere so it’s time to fight again!

What can i say.. “It’s back”!

I managed to get through yesterday with out having a massive attack until late in the evening! It was around 7pm when the first attack came back, an attack that i can only describe as “Massive”, it seems that after i get a break period the attacks come back stronger or feels that way. Again i rushed to use my injection but again it overpowered it and i had to ride out the attacks which lasted over an hour. All i could do was rock back and forth massaging my head praying for the pain to ease.

Then again this morning i was woken at 4am with the cold around the top of my head. The pain started as soon as i opened my eyes so i had to run into the living room and turn on the electric fire and placed my head near it to warm it up. As my head did warm up after a few minuets the pain then started to ease. So i placed my woolly hat on my head and went back to sleep. I was then woken again at 6.30 am with another massive attack. This attacks made all my eye swell up again and i looked like something out of the film the elephant man. These are the attacks that worry me the most. The pain reaches such levels that i have actually passed out before now. They also cause me to loose sight in the left eye and also cause a lot of swelling around my head and eye.

I have taken my daily medication and already had one injection this morning to counter act the bad attacks but they just seem to keep coming this morning. All i can do is try and stay as warm as is possible and ride the pain out when it comes. I don’t want to take another injection so early in the day as if i have any bad attacks tonight i won’t be able to abort them. My back is also killing me now so walking up the chemist later is going to be agony. I really hate it when i get days like this. i know its the cold that's causing it as i can feel the cold both on the top of my head and the side of my face. The cold is even causing my knee to hurt, this i assume is the onset of arthritis as i had an operation on the knees cartilage when i was younger.

Days like this make me feel so low normally so i am trying my hardest to stay focused and remain positive. Lets hope by keeping warm i am able to stop the onset of the attacks  and can get through this day with out too many nasty attacks appearing.