Medication Side Effects Causes more problems than the Illness.

Well once again i have had to change medication after stopping my last lot due to an allergic reaction and really bad side effects. The doctor seems to feel my body is super sensitive to any type of medication and the neurologist thinks that Amertriplin will be the one that works. Well he wasn't far wrong. After starting the medication i noticed in the first week a massive reduction in the attacks i have and also the sharp pain down the left side of the back from the neck to the base of my spine seems to have eased away and only plays up once or twice a week as opposed to 3 or 4 times a day. I also noticed that the pain in the left side of my neck has eased so what ever the tablets are doing it seems to work. 

The second week was a bit harder as i started to have very bad nightmares but i am used to them from medication as i used to get it from my Mirtazapine that helps to keep my Bipolar on the level i need to be. It took a while for those dreams to ease off so i think this will be the same with the Amertriplin. The third week was a totally different story! Suddenly one day i started to get the beginnings of withdrawal symptoms as though the methadone i am on is no longer working properly. I have asked several times to be taken off the methadone but because i have been having so many health issues the doctors are reluctant to reduce me and i have to stay with the same dose for a while until they feel happy with me. OK it was my own fault for self medicating and becoming addicted but years ago i had no other choice as no one could diagnose what was wrong with me.

Now i am in the 4 th week and the withdrawal symptoms are getting worst. I have seen the doctor and she told me it could be the Amertriplin running out and the body is now looking for the drug and i end up in cold sweats all the time and a very high level of anxiety. She decided to give me a 10 ml tablet to take in the mornings to ease the symptoms until i take my 25 ml dose at night. Even though i only started the morning dose this week i am still getting horrible withdrawal symptoms. Thankfully the stomach cramps and sickness doesn't start and its only the sweat and anxiety that gets to me. The biggest problem i have due to being Bipolar is that anxiety brings on panic attacks and it actually causes physical symptoms rather than mental. I end up with severe chest pains, breathing problems and shake horribly. 

I am praying the body starts to level out after the fourth week and i start to get used to things as i don't know how much more i can take of these symptoms. I have found myself seeking things to calm me down like Valium or cannabis and this is the last thing i want. To start self medicating all over again after over 16 years of hell is the one thing i don't want to do. Now i know the condition i have is incurable it has taken me a long time to learn how to handle the level of pain all the time that the attacks bring and to end up back at the start isn't something i thought would ever happen. I am praying to god the doctors are right and these tablets will settle eventually otherwise its another medication that has failed to help me and yet again made me even more ill. Why do i agree to take theses medications i don't know, but with out something i wouldn't survive or last very long. It Just seems to me that ever since we started trying to get the attacks under control the medications i have been on have all ended up making things worst and effecting my health in a negative way. I really hope things will change and this year will be a better one as i am having less attacks but am paying the price with my health.

Good start to the New Year 2016

Thankfully we have found a combination of mediation that doesn't actually cause me side effects or other problems resulting in me having to take even more medication just to feel comfortable. The neurologist decided to try me on Amertripterlin as not only does it help ease nerve pain but also acts as an antidepressant and with me suffering from Type 2 Bi-polar it may help me and so far i have to say i am very happy with the results. Slowly but surely i have seen a decrease in the amount of sharp pain i get going up and down the back to the side of my spine. I have also noticed that the neck problems are not setting off as many attacks as they used to but now the cold weather is here there has been a slight increase.

I have come to terms with the cold being one of my main triggers for the CH attacks and try and avoid situations where i am out in the cold for too long. The trouble with this is that i am sat indoors all day and its starting to drive me slowly insane.  Not being able to get out or go fishing has really taken its toll on me and now for some unknown reason i have been suffering mild panic attacks on a regular basis with every now and again i get this huge panic attack that actually feels as though i am about to have a heart attack or stroke and die. The pain shoots across my chest, the sweat suddenly pours off me and the sound i hear become like echoes. My vision seems to slow down and the outer vision becomes blurred like you are looking down a tunnel. This is the worst one and the most scary and the sharpness of the pain in the chest also increases my heart rate and where a normal panic attack will end and your heart rate will return to normal this seems to last all day until i have slept it off.

Ever since i was diagnosed with CH Cluster Headaches and was then told there is no cure and that using medication you can learn to live with it. I though it would have been like bi-polar where you have your down periods that can sometimes last weeks or months and then you are back to normal in between mood swings. CH doesn't seem to stop at all either you have them or you don't. In my case its every day with out fail. I have the main one  early hours of the morning which is normally my wake up call at around 3 am where i use one of my injections to deal with and if i have a good day then i will get no other attacks. Then there are the days where its attacks after attack and i can have up to 8 during a 24 hour period and that really does take it out of you. Thankfully it hasn't been that bad for a year now but its still a daily issue i have to deal with and wonder if i will ever be completely pain free ever again.

All i know is i really need to do something about being stuck indoors all the time and have to make the effort to break the cycle and get out and do some fishing again. I know as soon as i am out on the bank side setting up my fishing gear all my troubles and illnesses seems to melt away and my mind then focuses on one thing and that's catching the fish, Everything else gets pushed to the back of the mind and this is one way i manage my depression. If i feel down just get out and do some fishing. The trouble is i have missed out on a lot over the last year due to the back pain all the time but now the tablets seem to be taking care of the pain i have a feeling that 2016 will be a good year for me and my fishing, fingers crossed.

Happy New Year ...2016 begins , lets hope this year is a pain free year!

Well the last year has surely been a challenging one with regards to my health and the Cluster Headaches. I have had so many problems arise from side effects of medication and allergic reactions not to mentions the problems i have been having with the bowels and the back all the time. I managed to see my Neurologist just before Christmas and he has put me on Amirtriptyline  tablets to help ease the nerve pains and hopefully help ease the attacks and start reducing them even further. So far this year the last 3 months have been amazing as the attacks have been very few but i still get the early morning ones where the temperature seems to drop at 3am every morning and no matter how hot i keep my flat with the heating on i still can tell when the drop happens and it wakes me every time.

Most of last year i found myself locked away in the flat only going out to do shopping or if an emergency and i had to see the doctor. The rest of the time i have been shut away not wanting to go out in the cold air just in case it starts off attacks again and i end up having to deal with them every day once again. It was hard when i was getting 8 attacks per day and having to ride at least six of them for an hour at a time. I really did think my world was over and my life had ended. If it wasn't for some close friends and my fishing i really don't think i would have been able to manage and possible wouldn't be here today.  The support i have had from my friends and family has been amazing and i cant thank them enough but i know its time that i dealt with all these problems myself and see if i can get my life back in order.

I am determined to go out and do as much fishing as is possible this year and hopefully a few of my friends will join me on this journey. I am fed up giving in to the pain and worry all the time so no matter how bad i feel i have to start getting out and making sure i get in as much fishing as i can as it is the only activity that actually relaxes me and helps me to forget all my worries and problems. I have been blessed to have won the Korum competition a few years back which gave me all the fishing gear i needed to start out and then over the last 2 years i have been slowly collecting more and more tackle and am now proud of the gear that i have. I can honestly say i can go out fishing and not want for anything as i have all the gear i need to try any type of fishing i want but my favourite type of fishing is specimen hunting and carp fishing (including cat fishing). I prefer to target the larger of each species as it is more of a challenge and takes skill to get them to take your bait. 

The last few moths i have been suffering bad anxiety attacks that are giving me physical symptoms and making me feel as though i am about to collapse or have a heart attack. I spoke with the doctor and refused to take Valium as i would only end up totally addicted to them and would end up with more problems so i am now being sent on stress management coarse's to see if that will help me learn to control the anxiety. It only started as i was having pains and didn't know what was happening to me and i didn't think it would become a problems but when you start having chest pains and find it hard to breath or walk, Lets hope i can get this under control quickly as its not long before we start fishing again. By the end of January or mid to end February i want to be back out on the bank fishing and chasing those carp. Lets hope my new years resolution comes true......

Happy New Year Readers....... Hope all your dreams and wishes come true in the new year.

Winters fast approaching, what about the CH?

Well again its been a while since i updated my blog. I managed to get an appointment with the neurologist after just over a year. I can’t believe its been that long since i last saw him and so many things have happened in between appointments it was difficult explaining all the problems. He has confirmed that it isn't the cluster attacks causing the back pain and the stabbing pains on the left side of the body and insists that my doctor refer me and look into this matter, He also agreed that i am having trouble controlling my anxiety from the bi-polar side of me and i need to rake action and i will find that a lot of the pains and aches and weaknesses start to go away. He wants me to see my doctor as soon as possible and he will see me again in six months hoping that my attacks don't return to how bad they were a year from now.

I understand with cluster attacks that you go through cycles but most people had them for a period and then they stop and return months or years later. Being chronic it just decreases the amount of attacks you have in a month and you go through low and high periods depending on your health. So far i am at my lowest i have been in 2 years but i touch wood as i say that as the weather has been making the head play up and i have had to deal with a few attacks the last few days. I do get very anxious at the time of my attacks knowing that the pain is going t o start and its no wonder after having so many attacks but i agree i need to do something about the anxiety and try and stay calm and chilled instead of worry about every thing all the time. I know its down to not being able to get out fishing lately as its driving me crazy so i have to plan a trip soon and no matter how much pain i am, in i will still go and try and relax as that's when i find i am at my best when on the bank trying to catch large fish.

I am about to go take a look at a new fishing syndicate known as the Birch Syndicate , its not actually new as its been around for a few years but the waters are new to me and a challenge that i an really looking forwards to. It a very large lake full of carp from high doubles up to 40lb + so i cant wait to start fishing it next season. I could start during the winter but i know the cold weather would probably start playing havoc with my head and end up setting off attacks so i don't want to risk aggravating it for no reason. I am happy with the amount of attacks i am having to deal with at the moment and although i still find myself locked away all the time i am slowly starting to get out a couple of times a week and if i can get back into my fishing this will change to weeks at a time. There is no better medication than being out in the fresh air and getting the vitamins and sun on then body.

I have an appointment with my doctor on Monday to update her with what the neurologist said. I don't think she is going to be very happy when i tell her what he said but its not really her fault that they haven't investigated the pain in my back and neck as it could have been coming from the head and as we couldn’t get hold of the neurologist for over a year meant i have had to suffer and put up with the pain. At least we are starting to make improvements and slowly getting there. I also have the mental heath team support group contacting me on Friday 18th December to discus what extra support i need and help they are able to offer me as i am suffering from the bad anxiety.

The neurologist wants me on Amertriperlyn Tablets to see if it helps ease the remaining attacks i am having at the moment and he is also referring me to another headache specialist as some of the attacks are actual headaches caused and aggravated by the pain in the neck so having a couple of triggers all the time isn't good so we are going to see if there are anything else we can try to get them under control. Well this is my last blog update until after Christmas and the New Year so i would like to wish everyone that reads my blog a great Christmas and a Pain free New yea and hope you all achieve your goals in the new year coming.

Being alone outdoors is different to being alone indoors…

Just when i think things are getting better and my attacks are at the lowest they have been in years i end up getting rushed into hospital with severe chest pains and threat of angina only to be cleared to find out it could be some kind of infection but i have to wait as the normal bloods didn't show up anything yet i am having symptoms of an infection. Cold sweats on and off all day soaking me, sore eyes , pains in the muscles, thrush at the back of the tongue showing the body is fighting something. The have sent bloods to the serious infections unit at the hospital of wales and i have to wait on results . I don't like the sound of that but they could be clear. The doctors say if they come back clear then i am to be referred for a colonoscopy to find out why the bowels are having so many problems and hopefully find out what's going on.

They also agreed that being type 2 bipolar doesn't help as i tend to suffer high anxiety which will make my symptoms feel and be twice as bad as normal so i have to be careful and watch my stress levels until they can find out what is happening. I am booked back in to see the neurologist on the 7th of December so its not long to wait and i am booked back in to the doctors on Thursday to see if there's anything they can do the relieve the symptoms. Being rushed in Saturday morning with the chest pains really shook me up and scared me. It just seems like i have had so much bad luck with medication its crazy. Reactions to so many different drugs is just not normal and i believe its down to the hiatus hernia. It seems ever since that started things have become slowly worst and my health is very low.

I am doing as much as i can to feel normal and live a normal life but when you are in pain all the time it becomes hard. I try to eat normally but struggle to have 2 meals a day as it keeps trapping as i swallow and almost chokes me and i end up having to massage my chest to help it pass through. When i wake in the mornings i can sometimes find a mouthful of acid greets me and end up running into the bathroom spitting before it makes me sick and have to use Gaviscon to ease it. Then there is the daily cluster attacks which are low thank god as i don't think i could cope with a full bout of attacks and feel this ill at the same time. I still have to deal with a few though and its hard. My body feels run down it needs a holiday. I usually go fishing now days to chill out but when you are in pain and the weather is cold it makes it 100 times worst and there is no way i could do it at the moment. maybe if the back pains would ease a little then i could go and that would do me the world of good.

I find when i am out fishing in the fresh air my body always feels stronger for it. Even though you work hard sometimes to catch those elusive carp, when you return home having captured a couple and released them back into the lake to fight another day, you feel revived and full of energy and that's one of the reasons i love fishing so much. Being on your own with your own thoughts out in the wilderness or at the side of a park lake is so different to being locked away on your own in your home. You have nature as a companion and feel so at ease its great. OK fishing can sometimes be a bit stressful when the fish aren't biting but that's the fun of the sport. Can’t wait for my next trip!

There is light at the end of the tunnel, I can see it!

Once again i have been lazy not updating my blog as regular as i would like. It’s not because of the attacks so much but more down to the fact of the pain in my back when i sit at the computer to type. The last month has been a very strange one as i have finally stopped suffering allergic reactions to god knows what medication and actually started to feel well for a short period and then all of a sudden the back pains have started and haven't stopped since. I am happy to report that my attacks are at their lowest they have been in years and i am managing to control them happily for the time being.

Why all the pain has suddenly started in my back i can only assume it is from the aftermath of the attacks. being a chronic sufferer and having to deal with several attacks per day must do some sort of damage to the body after a period of time. The nerve down my left side is very tender and i can feel a line right down the left of my back. When i am sat in one position for several minuets the bottom of my back right at the tail begins to hurt and then start pain radiating outwards towards both sides of my lower back. This is a very annoying and uncomfortable pain but when i move a bit and start stretching it tends to ease off and go away but then i get secondary pain higher up the back behind the left shoulder blade.

I rushed to the doctors the other day as every time i took a breath i was getting a stabbing pain in the left shoulder blade on the back. The doctor feels it is the group of muscles on the left side of my back going into spasms. Now its funny he should say that as when i was rushed into hospital the last time they said i was getting muscle spams in my neck that was also causing me major problems and also setting off attacks. Its strange how the 2 different doctors have come up with the same results. I can only think that the muscle problems i now have in the left of my back have been caused by having so many cluster attacks every month.

I was supposed to see my specialist at the start of the year and it has taken until now to get an appointment with him. As he is the head Neurologist at one of the biggest teaching hospitals in South Wales he is very hard to get hold of and even harder to book appointment with but finally i have a date. A letter came through the other day asking me to ring and book the appointment and thankfully they have given me the 7th of December so its not long now till i am able to update him with everything that has gone on with me over the last year. I have had so many different problems all caused either by the after effects of the attacks or by side effects of medication.

Also the problems i am now getting with the hiatus hernia, also caused from the side effects of medication, are really getting to me and i am finding i can’t eat as much as i used to and i find i am chocking on my food on a regular basis. Not to mentions the amount of trouble i have sleeping due to wheezing and acid build up in the chest if i lay flat and the back pain if i lay sat up. Sometimes i wonder how on earth i am still alive and kicking but i promised myself i would fight this illness with every breath i have and i wouldn’t give into it even though sometimes i can honestly say i have prayed for the end to come.

Whilst i am having a down period from my attacks i am slowly able to catch up with house work and other things i have been putting off for months due to the pain and agony all the time. Slowly i am gathering some sort of quality of life again and starting to think i will be able to get this under control but i cant go through any more allergic reactions to medication as i think the next time may end up being the last. I just hope my neurologist is able to come up with some ideas and other ways in which i can get these attacks controlled once and for all.

Strange Weather causing Constant Attacks…

when i was told i was a chronic sufferer and would have to continue to put up with daily attacks and with the help of medication i would be able to control them. So far i have been unsuccessful at finding the right medication for me as everything seems to make me very ill and the kind of medication required to control these attacks is extremely strong. So far the only things i can take are the injections and regular pain killers sometimes boosted with Pregabilin but even that causes me wind and bowel problems. My health has been on and downwards spiral ever since the first allergic reaction to the first medication. Now i am waiting to see my specialist but its coming up to 8 months since i saw him last and i need him to give me help through the rough times especially with this insane weather we have now and again.

One minuet the weather wants to be sunny and hot then suddenly its pouring and cold and then sudden changes back. I call this weather yoyo weather it plays hell with my head. Something to do with the high and low pressure changes and electrical charges in the air at this time seems to trigger my attacks. The worst time is when they come at 3 am in the morning and you wake up not even feeling tired to instant pain. I get days where i am scared to even sleep as i know i am going to wake up and face hell in the morning. I end up having naps through the day so i don't sleep so much during the early hours but all this does is tire me out and make me feel weak after doing it for weeks.

I then change my sleeping pattern to try and be awake during the early hours and sleep during the early day. If i could get into that habit it would be brilliant for carp fishing but for some reason my body doesn't let me. After a while it just gives in and i sleep until the next attack and the cycle begins again. I have more pains and aches in my body now days i feel like i have played a rugby match each morning i wake up its that bad. The attacks have taken their toll on the body and its paying the price. the left side of my back i get constant pain up in  a line and behind my shoulder all the time and this is from the actual attacks as it links to the neck and the nerve itself. The pains in the lower back come from a small lump i have at the side of my spine they say is a fatty lump and nothing can be done about it but i don't believe that. Surely they can get rid of it some how.

I get a lot of chest pains and aches in the muscles in the chest from my hernia and the amount of time i choke on drinking liquid or trying to eat is crazy but i manage. I have to keep taking Omeprazole as i get terrible acid otherwise and have even tried to stop taking them for 2 weeks to have tests done and couldn't manage 4 days. My attacks have just started to reduce thank god and touch wood , but that wont last i just know it. I have just got a memory foam layer to put on  my mattress to help with the back pains to see if its anything to do with my sleeping why they are playing up so bad. I hope it eases off soon or i am going to have to go see the doctor early again. I am even having trouble walking to the shop back and forth as the pain in the back always ends up worst and sets off my head attack when the pain reaches the neck. I am hoping to book another fishing trip again soon as my last one was cut short due to idiots setting fires around the lake. Fingers crossed it will be soon!