I so wish it really was father Christmas really did come and visit in the night and i was woken by him rather than the beast reminding me of the pain i am in all the time. Again 4 am this morning i was woken by the beast with yet another big attack. I wouldn’t mind so much but since yesterday i have been getting some nasty chest pain on the left side of my chest and tingling in the arm. The trouble is i get that from the damaged nerve so i can’t tell what is causing it. The chest pain in not normal but can be caused by wind and with my bowels playing up all the time i am convinced it is the wind that is causing it.
NO matter how much i tell myself it is wind it still doesn’t stop me panicking and worrying that it could be the heart as when it comes the heart suddenly starts to beat very hard like its trying to jump out of my chest. It is very similar to a panic attack so makes me wonder if , when i comes, i am just stressing and causing a small panic attack. Not only yesterday i was getting this but again this morning after i had recovered from my attack and prepared myself for a busy day suddenly it started again so i hope it is wind and it will shift soon because its doing my head in.
Not the sort of start i would like for Christmas but that's how it goes sometimes we can’t always be healthy on celebrations and i am sure there are people who are a lot worst out there than me. Christmas is a time for family and that's what i need to concentrate on. Spending the day with my family and having a great dinner over at my mothers house. I can’t wait. i Just have to remember to take it easy as my belly hasn’t been too good for the last week and my appetite seems to be on existent but i am going to try my best today.
I would also like to thank my friends and family for all their support over the last few years when my life suddenly took a sudden turn. It has been a difficult and worrying time and unfortunately my poor body has been to hell and back but i am still breathing and have to be thankful for what i have. I would like to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and hope you all get what you wish for and next year will be good to you.
Martyn x
