Thankfully i was actually feeling a little better yesterday and didn’t drain of energy when i walked around the shop and to the chemist as i was doing. As to what was causing me to become so weak when i tried to walk anywhere is still a mystery but i am thankful that i have started to feel a little better. The back is still having problems and giving me a lot of pain when i move but at least i am not almost passing out. Draining of energy every five minuets is very scary especially when you don’t know what is causing it all the time and also being in pain can sometimes make you feel very weak. I just wish the lump in my back would stop what ever it is doing and ease the pain. It is possible that it is effecting on of the main nerves that effects the entire left side of the body as when i do get the pain it is not just in the back it is also in the left arm and leg. I get cramps in different places and also sharp pain shooting up the back.
The pain in the back that goes all the way up to the neck can sometimes set of my CH and end up giving me several attacks one after another and leaves me in agony for hours. I can’t wait for the hospital to arrange the scan and find out exactly what is causing all the problems. The last time i saw the doctor she referred me for a scan of the lower left back to see what is going on but when i went up to the hospital regarding the chest pain i kept getting and to have blood tests to see if the heart was ok, thankfully it was, they decided to x-ray the lower left back to ensure it is not the bones that have a problem and i was told by the specialist that there was nothing wrong with the bones and to go home and tae pain killers. Not the answer you would expect from a professional but i can understand that it wasn’t an emergency and they didn’t want me taking up a bed in the A & E.
I still think they should have investigated the problem to try and find out what it was that was causing me to wipe out when i tried to walk to the shop and also why my back was in so much pain but they just weren’t interested in my problems and couldn’t wait for me to leave. I am sure it is down to the fact that i am on Methadone as when i told the doctor i was on it you could see her attitude suddenly change and after that point they didn’t want to know. When i tell people they say “They can’t do that they are professionals” but when you see it with your own eyes you can’t believe the attitude they have to someone on the methadone, they immediately think “OH, another druggy after drugs”. If that was the case the hospital would be the last place i would go to try and get drugs.
I suppose it is my own fault as it was down to me for self medicating and getting myself addicted to pain killers, morphine and heroin but when you have a doctor that is telling you the CH attacks are your imagination and end up putting you on drugs that are so strong you start hallucinating and hearing things and end up with you being sectioned for your own safety, you loose all faith in your doctors and end up trying to deal with things yourself. It was then, when under section, the doctors noticed the pain was real and that i was on the wrong medication and in the wrong place so they sent me home and started to get me the real help that i so desperately needed. It then only took another 5 years of investigation before i was finally diagnosed with the condition and given the correct medication to deal with the attacks. In total it was over 10 to 12 years of hell that i had to go through before getting the correct help.
Now i am in a similar situation with a new problem or even a couple of problems. I have a lump on my back at the base just left to the spine that seems to be hitting the nerves and causing me agonising pain. I have something that is causing my food to trap including liquids and causes me instant indigestion and my bowels keep playing up and i have constipation like nothing i have ever experienced before. The constipation is probably down to all the medication i have been on and especially down to pain killers that is why i have stopped taking the strong pain killers as it just makes the constipation even worst so i end up having to ride the pain each day.The only pain killers i will take at the moment is paracetamol or ibuprofen bit the ibuprofen can cause indigestion problems so have been sticking with only the paracetamol and have to watch how many i take as that could also cause problems if i am taking too many or take them for a long period.
I still have another week and half before i can see my own GP and god knows when my next appointment with the specialist will be. I have tried t get hold of the specialist but he is so busy no one seems to be able to pin him down and i have now left 3 messages for him with no luck or contact what so ever. I really need help to get these things sorted so i can start to concentrate on my condition again and get things under control. I haven’t even been able to go out fishing things have been so bad and i have been in so much pain. I don’t go out of my flat and can’t even do my own shopping it is really getting to me now. My depression has become very bad and i find myself battling with unwanted thoughts and feelings on a daily basis and i am afraid that if i don;t get help soon it is only going to get to a point where i no longer have control over my faculties.
