Again i was woken by the beast this morning , not at 3am but a little later, it was just gone 5am when i opened my eyes and the pain instantly hit me. I even dreamt that the attack was building and when i woke up it started immediately. The pain started from on top of the jaw and behind the left eye and stretched over the top of my head and into my neck. Not even giving me chance to take an injection before it became a full blown attack. I raced into the living room clutching the left side of the head in desperation as though my face was going to fall off. The pain was so strong i couldn’t hear an noise apart from this horrible whistling or static sound in my ears that i get. I believe it is tinnitus and i have had it ever since my head was split open in Cyprus.
I never forget that day when i had the head split open, walking out of a night club about to eat a stuffed backed potatoe after a long night of drinking and dancing in Faces nightclub (actually called Joy Nightclub back then) in Ayia Napa, Cyprus. All i felt was a shock to the head and a cold feeling on the left side of the head and then nothing. Everything went black. I didn’t even know i had been hit across the head with a metal scaffold pole from the building that was opposite the club as they were having renovation work at the time of the incident. When i cam round and saw people staring down at me asking me if i was OK and if i knew where i was and what my name was. It was a couple of seconds, that seemed like hours at the time, i then realised i had been hit over the head and the pain started to set in.
II felt woozy and after returning back home and sleeping i woke the next day with my head stuck to the pillow as the cut continued to bleed through the night. I am surprised i actually survived such an injury now i think back as i did loos an awful lot of blood and was a mess for quite some time after. I had to have a shower the morning after to get the pillow unstuck from my head and the amount of blood that washed away was scary. My head just wouldn’t stop throbbing. I was staying with a mate in Larnaca at the time and had to get a service taxi home to Nicosia, a 45 minuet drive up the motorway. A service taxi is like a regular taxi except you share with others to keep the cost down and is even cheaper than catching a bus.
By the time i got home to Nicosia and lay down on the sofa i was totally exhausted and in a lot of pain. It turned out that i had concussion from the attack and was sick for at least 2 days and ended up sleeping for a whole week. I know it had caused some damage to my head but didn’t realise it would have such a long term effect at the time. After the initial incident and then recovering for a total of 3 weeks i found that everything seemed top be OK and i managed to get back to a normal life for quite a few years before i had my first ever cluster attack. When i started to get the clusters i only used to have them once every couple of months and thought they were just migraines brought on by the injury that i had gotten. Boy was i so wrong.
Well ever since that faithful day i have suffered with this condition and it has taken over 10 years just to get it diagnosed as to what has happened to me. I couldn’t believe it when the specialist told me and the horrible words that followed, “Unfortunately it’s an incurable condition Mr Russ”, when he stopped i almost collapsed where i was. When i look back at it all and read over my blog i realise just how much have been through and how i have had to fight just to get where i am today. With the hope that this new medication will start working and finally i may get the beast under control, i can finally see i have some sort of future and i can start to live my life again.
I know it is wishful thinking that things will get back to a normality once the new medication has kicked in but if i felt every medication was going to fail i wouldn’t bother getting up in the mornings. I have to try and keep positive and hope that we finally find the right combination of drugs to control my condition. I just wish the rest of the problems would start to settle. Most of it caused by medication and the side effects you get from it. The trouble with the bowels was from medication, the kidney pains i used to get was caused by medication, muscle cramps in the back was caused by medication, panic attacks was also caused by medication. You could say i have been very unlucky as far as medication goes. Let’s hope this will all change soon.
