Yet again i was woken at 3 am by the Beast but this time it was my own fault as i had forgotten to turn the heating on before i went to bed. When the temperature dropped in the early hours instead of the heating kicking in and warming the flat up i ended up waking up with a freezing cold head and an attack from hell. The cold always seems to set off the worst of my attacks for some reason and is actually one of the main triggers that sets me off every time with out fail. I am praying that under new medication this wont be the case and i will be able to handle the cold just as well as anyone else would but for the time being and until i get my next appointment with the specialist i will have to try and stay as warm as possible all the time and try and avoid cold wind and weather when ever possible.
Again i had a smile on my face when waking up to a nice newly decorated flat. I am so impressed with all the work myself and John have managed over the last week. I thought it would at least take a month to complete but it now looks like we will be able to everything within a two week time frame leaving plenty of time before Christmas to get used to it all and maybe even put up some decorations this year. The only thing is i don’t want to spoil all the nice paintwork and decorating that has already been done. I suppose a few small decorations and maybe a small table top tree would be ok just to get me into the spirit of Christmas as long as i don’t use tape to put the decorations up. The last time i did that i ended up peeling half the pain off the walls when i took them down so i won’t be repeating that with my newly decorated walls.
Having the flat done has really lifted my spirits and has even surprised me as to how happy it has made me feel. I wish i had done this years ago, but don’t know if it would have had the same effect back then as it has had on me now. It has only taken me 10 years to get off my backside and get something done about the decoration of the flat. I have touched up the odd wall here and there and done the odd repair over the last 10 years but never gone through from top to bottom since i actually got the place. I had a so called friend stay for a while who actually destroyed half the flat and my kitchen including a couple of doors as his dog, that he had sleep with him, actually ate its way through the living room door just because he locked it in this one time and the dog wasn’t impressed so tried its best to escape. When i came back out of hospital and had seen what he had don't to the flat i booted him out so quick his backside didn’t touch the floor.
Ever since i had moved back into my flat i just couldn’t put my heart into it. Since the flat was half ruined and i just couldn’t do the work i wanted to do and i just ended up loosing all love for the flat as it no longer felt like my home. Now after 10 years + I have finally put some heart back into the flat and it has started to feel like my home for the first time ever. I am actually enjoying doing the decorating, what i can physically do, as i know its going to look really nice when finished and then will be so easy to maintain and clean. For the first time in a long long time i am no longer embarrassed by the flat i live in and am proud of the work that we have accomplished. When the flat is totally complete i will be able to put my feet up in my new home and enjoy Christmas. For the first time in ages i am not sad to wake up in the mornings.
