Again i have been woken at3 am this morning leaving me feel strange after taking my injection in order to stop the attack. At first i thought the attack was going to over power the injection but suddenly it has kicked in and left my chest feeling tight and my head feel like i am light headed and strange. I keep getting pain in my chest and have taken aspirin just in case if anything it will help ease the pain. I hate mornings like this as now i have to stay up all morning watching crap on the TV waiting for the next attack if it appears at all. the neck is sore and the back painful so it is likely i have another coming as i have some very strong shadows at the moment and the feeling of pressure i like someone trying to cut into he top of my head.
I do try and stay as positive as i can when these things happen people don't realise i am dying inside. I am slowly loosing the will to fight anymore. Each day it gets harder and harder and each time a medication doesn't work it feels like .nothing will and i am just waiting for the attack i will no recover from. I don't want to sound so low and with no hope but i am very low at the moment and its part off my illness but i wont hide anything from my blog it has to be how i feel and what is happening.
At the moment it has taken well over an hour to recover enough to jump on he computer and write my feelings and thoughts and its hard to let the truth out knowing you are on you own sat in a flat with no one to help or company to rely on (by choice as its difficult to find a partner when you are to scared to go 10 mins from your home) It’s hard letting our protective wall down when you are out as all you can think about is the next attack and when it will come.. Don’t get me wrong i got some superb friends that come and help me out and my mate John Rees is a god send to me the amount je helps out when i am ill and never asks for nothing, what i actually call a true friend and always will look after him.
All i feel is i have to suffer this condition for he rest of my life and have to endure pain like no other. There is no cure for the condition and only experimental drugs that some very bad effects that have to go through one by one until i find the ones that suit me is gong to be interesting enough let alone putting up with the attack
IS IT REALLY WORTH GOING THROUH ALL THAT?!
I feel week as a kitten and light headed and have to do an interview for the social so this should be interesting, Thank god they agreed to call me at home otherwise i wouldn't be able to do it a i wouldn’t make it with out having an attack
