Another attack in the early hours this time at 12.30 and lasted just over an hour. As soon as the attack as over i jumped on the computer to try and wake myself up a bit as i have strong shadows and there us no way i could go back to sleep as i can feel the pressure and other attacks building.
It so not fair i feel like i am living like a zombie. I am up all night long as just cant sleep as the drop in temperature is just causing the attacks to set off so i end un kipping during the day time to make up for the los of sleep. The pain i am currently getting on the left side of the face feels like someone is cutting it of slowly. This is after an attack so you can imagine the pain levels it gets to. My neck feels like i have a ball stuck in the side of it and the pain down my back is almost crippling .
These will now slowly reduce as the day goes on and the medication takes over. Thankfully the Pregabilin is still working on the attacks as the last lot of tablets i was given almost killed me. the side effects were so bad i was having fits on the floor. I now have to wait another 4 months before i can see the specialist to tell him they didn't work and get something new to try. At least my injections and oxygen still works so do get some help and relief.
I had my six monthly interview with the social yesterday and ended up having a panic attack as they didn't even know about my condition at first and was waiting to turn up for an appointment at the office, I had rang a phew days before telling them i couldn’t make it but some gut called Phil said not to worry they would call me at m appointment time.I waited and hour after the time and still nothing so i rag them t find out what was happening and no on knew about it and who this Paul was. I thought oh no here we go i m going to loose y benefits and there is nothing i can do about it as i cant get to the office. Thankfully this lovely gentleman listened to my story and seemed to understand my condition and understand how it made me. He put my mind at rest and there's is nothing to worry about. My benefits will continue and i have to write to their head office updating on them on the decease in my health.
I wish i didn't have to report a decrease as i was hoping to get better. To be honest i thought they would find something with the scans ad say this is what is causing it and n operation will put to right. Its hard having to accept you have no cure for your condition an you have to fight these attacks for the of what life i have left. How do i explain that to the government what di i say and put. Sorry but my life is screwed and there's sod all i can do about it. i have to spend the rest of my life taking strong drugs that really mess me up and have bad side effects. Happy days ahead,
The only break i get from all this is when i go out fishing. Even though i still have attacks inside my tent i don't get anywhere a near as i normally do. Either its the fresh air or being outside relaxing something seems to calm then when i fish so i have to get out soon. As soon as this weather calms down i am gone for a couple of days and see if i can get my head to calm down a bit. I really do need it.
