Once again i have been woken by the beast at 3 – 4 am this morning with yet another big attack. I actually managed to have time to recover my energy before it decided to attack for the second time. They eye begins to close the pains shoots from behind the eye up over the head into the neck and down the back to the base of the spine. The main pain remains constant over the top of the head but the shooting pain down the spine is only occasional so i can only assume one nerve is touching or pressing on another causing a secondary issue. The eye eventually closes and it feels like someone is trying to scrape it out with a spoon. Constant pressure on the top of the head with sharp pain all the time and all you can do is rub or massage it to see if you can ease the pain. You can’t actually reach the area the pain is coming from as its deep inside the head and somewhere behind the eye. It always feels like you eyeball is actually on fire and burning and no amount of massaging or rubbing the painful areas helps. You scream in agony as if to try and release the agony and pain but end up falling to the floor , rolling around in pain holding your head praying for it to stop.
You are fighting an invisible force, its as if someone is trying to pull your brain out of your head through your eye socket, you are fighting with the beast. The pain continues to grow stronger and stronger and all you can do is let it run its course and try and manage the pain but its impossible. You bang your head against the ground as if you want to crack it open to release the evil and hope it will go away. The side of the head becomes so tender and your senses seem to increase as sound becomes unbearable so you have to sit in silence and bright light makes it hurt more so you try and stay in the dark. Eventually the pain becomes so bad you end up with ringing in the ears like a TV that's out of tune and all you can hear is the static signal. This becomes so loud it blocks out other sounds and starts to drive you crazy. As the pain starts to reach its peak you start to become light headed and feel like you are going to pass out. I have actually passed out a couple of times before but only for a few seconds and when you do come around you head throbs hard and the pain then returns.
Suddenly the pain stops! Just as quick as it started. You look at the time and realise over an hour has passed but at the time you seem to loose all sense of time as it feels like a life time of agony and pain. For hours after the attack the neck hurts and grinds and even the back becomes painful. Its hard to walk around the flat because the legs start to feel like lead weights and all the muscles ache. Then when you finally start to feel comfortable another one starts to build. Again you have to go through the whole thing again. If you are lucky enough to take the injection and abort the attack some times you don’t have to feel the intense pain but most of the times it takes a while for the injection to work so you end up having to go through short attacks that last around 10 to 15 minuets until the injection takes hold and stops the attack in its tracks. Unfortunately only being able to have 2 injections in a day you begin to pry that no more attacks come as after you have used up the injections you then have to ride out the full attack with only oxygen to help.
I can only assume that the attacks have become so bad due to the strange weather we are having. I know the extremes of cold and heat are 2 of the main triggers that set of my attacks so i think the very hot weather started them off and now the storms and lightning seems to be having an effect on my head and its causing it to feel worst again. I am praying as the heat wave is coming to an end an the weather starts to return to normal i will go back to having more pain free days again. Normally this time of year my attacks become very scarce and only happen one or two day a week but i can end up having up to 10 or 12 attacks over those 2 or 3 day periods. When the Winter come i end up having that amount in a day and they then start to happen every day as it gets colder. I am praying that now i have help from the specialist and they are trying different medication i should hopefully be able to avoid the nasty attacks during the winter but we won’t know until it comes.
All i can do for now is pray that no more attacks happen today and as this weather passes i start to feel better and get less attacks. I will have to push the specialist for more help as these attacks are some of the strongest i have had in a while. I think the beast is trying to remind me that he’s still there and want’s to be in control but no matter what happens i will not let it control my life, I have to find a solution and i will fight the beats with every breath and bit of energy i have left in my body.
