Again i have been woken by the beast at 4am this morning and has left me with a very sore neck and back. I am not surprised really after yesterday as it was so hot when we went fishing its was crazy. I burnt my ankles and John, who came with me, had a sore neck . I only burnt them as i was wearing shorts and both of us ended up with sun stroke even though we had a Bivvi for cover to stay out of the sun. The temperature had to have been in the high 30’s by lunch time in the sun and almost the same in the shade.
I was shocked i didn’t get any attacks whilst fishing in such hot weather as extreme heat can sometimes trigger an attack but was very grateful they didn’t come. However towards the end i started to feel ill due to the heat stroke and the heat was throbbing. this started to build an attack but it just seemed to stop after a while and never appeared, again i was very grateful.
By the end of the day my back was killing me. Why it was playing up so bad i don’t know its not as if i was doing anything that took a lot of moving about or lifting things. Whilst carp fishing you are say in a comfortable chair most of the time waiting for the alarms to go off or tying up your next rig. Match fishing is a lot more active as it includes active fishing, this means that you are trying to get a bite per cast and quickly bring in a lot of different type and size fishing in a short period of time. This is the best type of fishing as you are busy non stop all day and the fish just keep on coming when you get the tactic just right.
I am really going to have to start pushing my referral to the back pain specialist as it is starting to become a bad problem and to coincide with my condition of CH being so bad it’s going to make life pretty miserable most of the time, as if its not bad enough now. At the moment i am grasping hold of my fishing with both hands as it is the only thing and sport i can do at the moment and is really the only exercise i am getting.
OK i do walk to and from the shop rather than jump on the bus just so i can get the exercise and keep movement in my back even though it is painful with each step. I enjoy the fresh air and try at every moment i can to get some but when you feel down all the time , due to bi-polar disorder, and don’t want to go out you only get little breaks. Also you fear getting attacks when out in the open and when they are bad or you are getting strong shadows you tend to shut yourself away to try and be alone in case the beast comes. So in reality you don’t actually get out as much as you should or would like and when you do its difficult as you have to make sure you are carrying all medications in case of an attack.
Life does become difficult at times and i suppose are there to test us and gives us strength as we learn to deal with each situation when it arises. It would just be nice to take a year out. A year with no pain, no stress, no problems and to be able to live normally with no illness to deal with or medication to take or chase. I would give the rest of my life just to spend that one year doing something you enjoy with out any problems. Everyone gets problems in life and i understand we all have to deal with some kind of stress but i don’t mind the normal things i just wish the pain would just stop for a while.
