Another wake up call with a visit from the beast at 4am this morning. This time it was actually the shadows that has woken me first and then the attack didn’t appear until an hour later. It was yet another massive attack resulting in me diving for my injection and using extreme heat treatment to deal with the pain. What i mean by extreme heat treatment is that i use my electric fire to put heat on the side of my face and then move away slowly decreasing the heat levels as the pain eases. It helps to reduce the time an attack will last but can result in you throwing up for about 10 minuets for some unknown reason.
I don’t mind it waking me up so early today as i am off fishing with my mother, step father and John my mate. It has left me with strong shadows that i will no doubt have to deal with for the remainder of the day. Also when i woke this morning i was in for a very nice shock. My mother was rushed into hospital last night whilst i was sleeping with chest pains. It was her heart. She believes it was angina but where she was waiting for the cardiologist for so many hours and he didn’t turn up she decided to come home and sod than as she was feeling better.
I woke to an urgent message on my mobile to ring my brother as she was rushed in so immediately i called at 5.30am this morning only to get my mother on the other end, as i had woken her, witch gave me a shock of my life as i thought she was actually still in hospital. She has decided to still go fishing even after wheat has happened and i have to say has inspired me with her strength. She didn’t really rest after her operation on the kidney and is still in agony as the nerves repair themselves where she was cut open and the kidney removed. She is on pain killers but they don’t seem to hold off the pain for long so she has had to get extra tablets from the doctor to try and bridge the gap in between doses.
With al the problems i have been having and the pain i get each day with my attacks i can honestly say i respect my mother for the strength she has and the way she is just getting on with her life, despite being nocked down she just keeps on getting back up. I don’t think i have any where near the amount of strength and courage she has and i don’t mind saying i am proud to be her son. With my illness through the years and then being diagnosed with another illness, this time rare and incurable, she has always been there for me and when i fall always picked me up. This is one of the reasons i started a fishing journey around the fisheries of Wales.
I didn’t want to give in to the beast and just rot away stuck in my flat, not going out and shutting myself away in fear of the attacks all the time. It’s from my mothers strength and support i have been able to take up my hobby again and fall in love with it all over again. Fishing has now become my release and relaxation method. I am able to get rid of all my stresses just by going on a fishing trip. It’s crazy the effect it has on me and that’s why I want to do as much as i can. That’s a good thing really as it gets me out of my flat and stops me shutting myself off from the world. For the first time in many years i have something positive happening in my life and want to grab hold of it with both hands.
