Another wake up call from the Beast at 3 am this morning resulting in me having to fight an attack for over an hour despite taking my injection to try and abort it. I hate it when you get the really strong attacks that always over power the injection as it always seems to leave me with a very sore neck and pressure on the left side of the head. If i irritate the head just a little it will then set of yet another attack so i have to try and keep calm and relax as much as i can. The feeling of having a golf ball stuck in the joint of your neck where the pain seems to be going to is so annoying. When the pain shoots over the top of the head from behind the eye it seems to make the golf ball feeling stronger and when you try and move your head it grinds and aches with each slight movement.
One thing i have found strange is ever since i have developed IBS each time i get an attack it causes the IBS to become bad and wind builds up in my body. This also includes hard wind inside the body not just the bowls and this wind tends to move around hitting the internal organs making it very painful and uncomfortable. No matter what i try i just can’t seem to shift this wind. Taking medication for the IBS helps to relieve the wind that is trapped in the bowls and helps to calm the stomach but i still have to contend with the hard wind traveling around my internal organs. I don’t mind being woken up so early this morning as i am going fishing today with my mother and step father at out local fishery. We have been planning this trip all week and i am really looking forwards to it despite having bowl problems and attacks building every hour. When i am fishing the attacks always seem to stay away for some reason. Maybe it is because i relax and stay calm when fishing or it could be that i concentrate so much on the fishing that i just don’t think about the attacks at all.
I know i have a nerve trapped somewhere in my shoulder as the last few days my left arm keeps on going dead or becomes extremely week even when i am typing up this blog my arm is aching and i have to rest it every 4 minuets or so. I have tried everything i can to release the nerve and stop this from happening but nothing seems to help. I have been rubbing in pain killer cream into my shoulder for the last week at least twice per day but this hasn’t helped one bit. I am hoping it will just release itself after time and the dead arm will go away but it doesn’t look like its going to happen any time soon. If it continues much longer i am going to have to seek professional help and see if i can get the shoulder manipulated so that the nerve can come free and stop causing me all this trouble. Each time the arm goes dead i tend to panic and with me suffering from mild bi-polar disorder the panic always tends to develop into full on panic attacks.
I am sure it is also setting of my attacks as it keeps on irritating my shoulder and neck and this seems to irritate the head and cause the attacks to appear. I am hoping i am wrong and the 2 have nothing to do with each other but something is telling me otherwise. At least i am booked in to see my doctor next week as i don’t know how much more i can put up with. I am fed up with being in pain all the time and being woken up in the early hours all the time. It always drains my energy and i always end up feeling like a zombie. lets hope a day out fishing will help to relax me and re-charge the batteries.
