Another wake up call from the beast but this time it was only a small attack and i was able to go straight back to sleep after it had calmed down. I then managed to sleep in until 8am this morning when my alarm woke me up as i had to get up to ring the doctors to make an emergency appointment.
The reason for the emergency is due to the other day. The day before we went fishing, Friday, it was in the evening when suddenly after having an attack and aborting it using one of my injections i was laying calm on my sofa watching a bit of television when suddenly i jumped up out of breath and all panicky. I felt like i was unable to breath and my left arm had gone dead with very strong pins and needles and a feeling as if my shoulder was in a clamp. The chest began to hurt and i had a very strange feeling come over me. I sat in my chair placed the oxygen mask on my face and just sat there stunned at what was happening to me. For several seconds it was if time had stood still and i thought to myself this was it i was about to have a heart attack and it was going to be game over. I suddenly snapped out of this trance like state and began to panic again.
If it was a panic attack it was the scariest i have ever had and it took me ages for me to calm down and i had to get one of my friends to come down and sit with me for an hour in my flat just in case. My mate David was a star, he flew down from his flat and stayed with me until i felt calm enough to go to bed. The next day we were fishing so i didn’t really worry about what had happened and just put it down to another panic attack. When i got home from fishing i was again watching the TV in the evening after cleaning all my fishing tackle and whilst sat there calm again my left arm suddenly went dead and i had strong pins and needles through it. I kept shaking my arm to try and bring it back to life but it just didn’t want to and my chest again became tight my breathing again became shallow and hard to get any air and my shoulder again had a feeling of pressure as if someone had gripped it tightly. Again it took a while for me to start to feel normal but this time i didn’t panic as much and just waited until i felt tired enough to sleep and went to bed.
When i woke up in the morning on Sunday i again started to feel funny and my arm again became dead and pins and needles came just as strong as the night before but it didn’t last for long this time. the thing that was worrying me the most was the fact that i couldn’t lift my arm above my head and the strength i had was gone in a second. Then when the arm returned to normal my strength then started to return but by that time i was again worried and scared of what it could be. I then decided to get some fresh air and walked over to my local supermarket witch is only 10 minuets walk away from my home. I bought some aspirin tablets as my shoulder was still feeling a little funny and then after i took the tablets it came back to normal and the problem was gone. I am not sure what is going on and what ever it is it is scaring me half to death. I have had loads of panic attacks in my life time so far and none of them have ever done that to me or made me feel like that. i know how bad panic attacks can be and at times you believe you are going to die but what ever this was it was different to those kind of feelings.
It is possible it is just a nerve being trapped or is trapped and that is what is causing these problems but i just wish it would go away as i think i have enough problems already and i don’t need any more. Due to all the worry my IBS is playing up and causing me loads of problems with my bowls and trapped wind. My back has also been playing up badly and my walking …well….. the feeling i normally only get once or twice a month where my legs turn to lead and all the muscles ache and the pains in the back on both sides seem to spread into my bum cheeks seems to have decided to stay for a while as i have been fighting it now for just over 2 weeks and it doesn’t seem to want to go again. I have been getting terrible aches and pains in both sides of my lower back and these pains are spreading up the spine slowly. What ever is causing the back to play up so badly seems to be getting worst.
I can’t believe the state i have got into and all the problems i now have. I am a complete mess and think someone needs to check me out from head to toe and find out what on earth is going on with me and my health. It just seems to me that i am slowly getting worst and no matter how bad i get the doctors just don’t seem to be interested in making me well again. All they do is throw more tablets at you and tell you to call back if things don’t improve. The trouble is things never do seem to improve and the problems always seem to come back no matter how hard i try to avoid anything that could make me worst or set off some part of my illness. No matter how hard i try i just don;t seem to get anywhere and my health seems to be slowly getting worst as time goes on. I really do need to chase up my specialist and find out when my next appointment is. I just can’t go on like this. Well at least i now have my appointment with the doctor at 20 to 5 today so hopefully we may get some answers as to what on earth was going on the last couple of days and why did i feel like i was about to die.
