Well there was me hoping that with all the back pain i was getting at the moment the beast would at least stay away and give me a longer break from the attacks but unfortunately the beast decided to join the party and woke me at 3am this morning with an attack from hell. Again another strong attack so strong i am sure i lost consciousness at one point. Another attack where the injection just seemed to help for about 10 minuets and then the attacks continued to grow in strength. I have had some strong attacks before but this was one of those you can class as the worst. It took me almost an hour before i could honestly move about again. I was so drained of my strength i just lay there on the floor staring up into space with ringing in both ears. It was as though i had been nocked out by a boxer and was just laid there on the canvas waiting for the referee to suddenly stop the fight.
When i did finally start moving again i was immediately welcomed by sharp pains in the back and neck and again a feeling of pressure on the left side of the head. the shadow seems very strong today so maybe we are about to have a storm or rain and there is another low pressure front coming over my area at the moment and that's why it is so bad. There are so many different triggers for my condition it is almost impossible to guess what may have set it off this time and why they are so strong. It could actually be the pain in the back that has aggravated the nerve and caused an attack to build. I am just hoping that there won’t be any more attacks today or at least if i do they will be smaller ones and easier to handle but something tells me i am in for a rough day again. I have this feeling i will have a few more of these attacks before the day is over.
I have decided that on Friday i am off fishing at one of the local fisheries just to have a bit of fun and get out of the house again and get some fresh air in my lungs. Maybe this will help to make me feel a bit better and calm some of the stress and worry i have been getting this week. I think my mother and Brian my step-father will be coming with me for the day out so it should be great fun. My friend John has also decided he could do with a break and is going to come with me. He has been a real god send just lately as when i do decide to go fishing he volunteers to carry the heavier equipment saving my back from further agony and pain. I can’t thank him enough when he does this as it saves me from so much pain people just don’t understand. When you try an explain the level of pain they always seem to have the same answer, “Yes we understand the pain you are in as we get migraines” or “have had a bad back before” and then when you try and explain that its like amputation with out anaesthetic they always look shocked at first and then a look of disbelief comes over them as if to say “no one can be in THAT much pain”.
I decided to chase up my appointment with my specialist the other day as i was due to see hi in April but i still haven’t had the appointment. I managed to leave a message with his secretary to try and see what is going on as i am having such a bad time of things. Eventually she managed to ring me back the other day and said they were very sorry and they could see i was over due the appointment but where he has been so busy with other things he is running extremely late with all of his appointments and they will be able to see me in October the 21st. I was gobs smacked when she said the date and asked if there was any way they could see me sooner as i am having serious trouble and even explained about the Verapamil giving me an allergic reaction and almost killing me. She said they would keep me on the cancellation list and if they have a cancelation they will ring me in the morning to go in to hospital in the afternoon. This means i now have to watch for the phone call as it could come at any time making it difficult for me to go out. So i contacted Virgin media and asked them to put the answer machine on my phone just in case she calls when i am out.
I think i should also make an appointment with my normal doctor and when i ring the surgery insist that i see her and no one else so i can try and get this problem with my back and walking sorted. She can at least chase up my referral that was made at the start of the year. I did receive a letter saying i was on the waiting list and then nothing for well over 4 months now. I know they are busy but all this waiting is really stupid as people end up getting worst by the time they are seen and instead of maybe they can sort the problem out if they catch it early enough they end up leaving the person suffer for ages and then when seen its too late to do anything and they will just have to learn to live with the condition. It took well over 10 years for them to discover my condition and then about 2 years to diagnose it. This was mainly my fault as i just wouldn’t give in to the attacks and ended up self medicating for many years and ended up in big trouble and had to have the doctors detox me before i could get any treatment
There are so many people stuck on waiting lists getting worst and worst until they are seen and they say the health service in this country is the best in the world as it is free. If i could afford it believe me i would be going private and going to the best doctors in London to try and put a stop to these attacks but i can’t afford the prices they put on treatment today. Many other countries pay for medical insurance and you have to pay a monthly fee to get the treatment you want. I wouldn’t mind that, having to pay a monthly charge to get treatment, as long as the treatment was second to none and you were seen straight away with no messing about. Oh! how we wish things could be so different! All i can do is try and chase things up and sit and wait for my appointments and in the meantime battle the beast on a regular basis and try and enjoy the pain free days when i do get them.
