The last week i have been having some bad attacks but generally i have been feeling well with regards to my genera; health then today after being woken by the Beast for the 3rd time this morning i started to feel really sick. Its not just a sickie feeling like i want to blow chunks but i actually feel sick to the bone so to speak. No matter what i try to do to take away the feeling it is there. Each time i try and drink my coffee i end up retching and gagging but nothing actually comes up. After spending an hour curled over the toilet waiting for something to happen or something to come up i now have a sore throat and a bad back from being bent over constantly. I can’t remember the last time i felt this sick.
I know its not the flu as i have had my flu jab for the year so if i do get it i will only end up with a mild fever. I can’t see it being linked to my injection as i have been having the injections for over a year and would have had this before is that was the case. It could be linked to the head and the attacks i have been having or it could just be something i ate last night. Maybe the ham was bad in the sandwich i ate last night. There are so many reasons why i could be feeling sick. I am just hoping its mot the start of a stomach bug or other illness starting as i think i have been through enough over the last year.
When i actually sit down to think about the things that i have been going through over the last year and the problems i have been having i can’t actually believe all this has been happening to me as for years i was fit and healthy and never had a problem. I was the type that would be playing sports even with a broken shoulder. I would be the first one to volunteer for a Rugby match or take up extreme sports. When i live abroad in Cyprus i used to love going Bungee jumping down at the beach. I used to go up in aeroplanes with my mate on his flying lessons just for the fun and then we would go scuba diving afterwards. I used to live a highly active lifestyle and then suddenly my world ended when this condition known as CH started.
I now spend most of my time shut up in the flat waiting for an attack to happen, stressing and worrying about my health all the time. The only break i get from this is when i get out fishing. This was the main reason i started the fishing web site and challenged myself to travel and visit all the fisheries in Wales and record each trip and adventure on the internet and in video. I know it will take me a few years to complete and is quite a big challenge especially when having to live off the social and benefits instead if working because you can’t hold down a job due to the attacks. If i was working it wouldn't be so bad as i could afford all the different day tickets and bait costs but instead i have to save up and rely on sponsors to help me with my journey.
Its nice to see that people are willing to help as i have found a couple of good companies that are helping me with my fishing challenge and with my private site as well maybe i will be able to bring some needed advertisement about my condition and how it actually exists but is so rare there is no cure as of yet. Maybe by doing what i am doing i will be able to open a few peoples eyes and they will see how bad this condition can be. I think these are the things that actually keep me going even when i feel down and am at my lowest. Knowing i have the fishing site and the challenge to complete as well as my personal blog to update each day helps to keep me a little focused. Lets hope this sickie feeling goes away soon and see if i can keep the beast from attacking today. If i feel better later i may even do a bit me work on my web sites, anything to stay busy!
